


I'd Spend a Lifetime Waiting

by AdinESmith



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 3rd POV switches between Doyoung and Taeyong, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bickering, Doyoung doesn't know how feelings work, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Minor Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Taeyong doesn't realize how whipped he is til its too late, loner doyoung, manager johnny, solo artists - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 56,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25768519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdinESmith/pseuds/AdinESmith
Summary: Both musical artists under the same company, Kim Doyoung and Lee Taeyong have surprisingly never interacted much until running into one another at the studio. After spending some time together, Taeyong realizes he has inevitably developed a crush for the cute bunny singer. Doyoung, on the other hand, mistakes his feelings for hate and tries to push Taeyong away. But Taeyong will not let him go, and then it only gets worse when he coughs up a rose petal. Now Taeyong will flirt like his life depends on it, because it does. But will Doyoung figure out his true feelings?A.k.a. Taeyong falls in love and develops hanahaki disease, while Doyoung thinks he hates Taeyong because he makes him feel things.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 27
Kudos: 166





	1. The First Meeting

Doyoung throws his bag on the ground and rolls up his sleeves. If the company wants him to dance for the next collab, he has no problem with that. He just needs to learn the choreo first, which shouldn’t be too hard. While Doyoung may not be the top dancer in SM’s company, he could still seduce a crowd with his moves. 

About two months ago marked the release of his first full solo album, and one month since promotions ended. Now, his manager had booked a collaboration for Doyoung with some other artist, he wasn’t told who yet, and given a video of the choreography he’d need to learn along with the song. It was a smooth tune that had a soft feeling, it fit Doyoung’s style well as he mostly wrote ballads. Doyoung was recognized in the company for his unique voice that melted any listener’s heart, so singing collabs, osts, and other things as such were usually given to him. He may not be the most popular singer out there or even in the company, that title was saved for Moon Taeil, but he was definitely well known and wasn’t unpopular. After his release of his recent album, his popularity had been growing exponentially as well. 

Doyoung sighs and shakes his head, pushing his wavy black hair out from his eyes. He quickly finds the file and presses play, stepping back and copying the movements he’s already watched throughout the week. Everything goes smoothly so far, besides some of the faster parts, but Doyoung observes one move at a time, copies it, checks it in the mirror, then adds it on with the others. Once the second person enters the choreo, he stops the video and rewinds it to the beginning, taking it from the top. As he runs through it all, he sings out his lines to practice keeping a stable sound. 

“You’re doing it wrong.” Doyoung freezes. He hadn’t seen anyone when walking into the practice room, but as he turns back to the resting area, he spots a tiny scrunched up figure tucked in the back corner of the couch. Music sheets are littered around and a laptop sits in front of the person, earbuds hanging down from it. Doyoung squints, and as the person positions upright, he knows exactly who it is. 

Lee Taeyong. The jewel of SM, admired by his fans, the staff, the general public. Popular for his intense visuals, elite rapping skills, and absolutely badass dancing style, Lee Taeyong was someone Doyoung did not want to run into due to his inferiority. This kid had it all. Doyoung was indeed impressed by his talents, who wouldn’t be, but he doubted someone could be that close to perfect in real life. The dude was scary, and Doyoung held a bit of resentment for him. Even though there wasn’t an exact reason for his feelings of dislike, they were there. Right now, after being rudely interrupted, if Doyoung couldn’t hold back his tongue at the guy he might get into real trouble. 

“Excuse me?” Doyoung asks, he unfreezes and pauses the guide video. Taeyong shoves his papers aside and sets his laptop on the couch, rising and walking over to Doyoung. 

“Here, I’ll show you.” Taeyong stands next to Doyoung and presses play on the recently paused video, he follows along extremely well for his first time seeing it. Which is impressive, but Doyoung feels a bit salty about it as it’s his choreo to learn, not Taeyong’s. Is he trying to show off and rub in his dancing skills? 

“I see,” Doyoung lies. He copies exactly what the older just did, but halfway through a dance move in which he circles his chest Taeyong bursts into laughter next to him. It’s a strange sound, kind of like the boy is choking on air, and makes Doyoung wonder if he’s actually choking. A very small part of him wishes he is. Doyoung furrows his brows and frowns. “What’s wrong?”

Taeyong breathes in and controls his laughter, apologizing at the same time, “Sorry sorry, It’s just that you only used your left chest on this move.”

“What? No, I used both sides.” Frustration begins to build up in Doyoung, he didn’t ask for help but Lee Taeyong decided he was just going to walk on over, offer unwanted help, then make fun of him. If this guy didn’t leave him alone soon, Doyoung might actually storm out of there. 

“I’m not kidding! Here.” Taeyong taps him and motions for Doyoung to watch, Taeyong does the exact same move. Moving his chest out and circling it, but he doesn’t do it all the way. “Ah, it’s harder this way, I don’t know if I can replicate it for you. Just try again.” 

Doyoung holds himself back from saying anything, instead clenches his teeth together. Maybe if he satisfies the pink haired boy then he’ll go away. He does the dance move again, thoroughly making sure to completely puff out his chest and bring it back around. Taeyong claps beside him and makes some kind of weird congratulatory noise Doyoung’s never heard a human make before. 

“If you do it like that it’ll look really cool,” Taeyong coos. Doyoung looks over and properly exams him, he didn’t have much interest to look before but now it was inevitable. He’d run into Taeyong a couple times since joining the company, I mean they worked in the same building so it was bound to happen. Up close he truly was quite handsome like everyone said, even more so than all the pictures of him online. It honestly took Doyoung off guard a little to be that close to such a naturally beautiful man. Despite the strongly scary persona Taeyong displayed on stage when he rapped, here he was buried under a large grey hoodie with some doodles all over it and medium blue sweats. He wasn’t even wearing any shoes, just some socks with cartoon characters on them, the whole thing truly was a confusing sight to Doyoung. Taeyong’s messy bubblegum colored hair didn’t make it any less confusing either. Everything was just so opposite from what he’d seen of Taeyong out on stage. 

Doyoung snaps out of his trance, remembering where he is, and responds half-heartedly, “Thanks.” 

“Should we run through the rest?” Taeyong asks in a cheery tone. Right now Doyoung isn’t in the mood for his enthusiasm, how is this guy so chill with just interrupting his practice like this?

“Don’t you have your own work to do?” Doyoung looks behind Taeyong at the couch covered with scattered papers and an overheating laptop. He watches as the older looks back as well and frowns.

“I guess I do need to finish what I was doing,” Taeyong slowly trudges over to his stuff and begins to collect it all up. He also slips his sneakers on which are placed next to a backpack on the floor. There’s too many papers though and Doyoung wants him to leave faster so he strides over and helps stack them. After neatly piling several up, he hands them to Taeyong who thanks him and shoves them into a binder. Doyoung smiles to himself as the pink haired boy tucks the laptop away in his backpack and closes it. He continues to smile as Taeyong looks up and pretends the grin is for him. 

“Good luck on learning your dance! Keep up the good work,” Taeyong advises. He waves a little to Doyoung while exiting the studio and Doyoung gives a little wave back filled with joy at seeing him leave. Once Taeyong was truly out of the practice room Doyoung makes a scoring motion and turns back to the media player. He happily skips over to it and rewinds to the beginning once more.

The rest of his practice time is spent running through the individual choreo parts and previewing some of the partner moments. As much as he hates to admit it though, the pointers Lee Taeyong had given him do help. They improve his speed in a few areas and yes, he does end up using his full chest for that one move. That boy was really something, Doyoung didn’t expect him to be that chill in real life, but then again no artist’s persona was exactly the same as their actual personality. Whatever, Doyoung doesn’t want to think about Taeyong anymore, it makes him upset, so he switches over to singing. Early in the week he memorized all the lyrics and took notes on their meanings while highlighting main points. Now thanks to all his previous work he only has to put the notes along with the lyrics. He spends the rest of the day alone in the practice room, and that is just how he wants it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet again

Unfortunately for Doyoung, that was not his last encounter with Lee Taeyong. Within that same week, while Doyoung was reviewing his choreography once again and trying to do his job, a certain bubblegum head “happened” to be walking past his practice room. Then he proceeded to enter without knocking, which startled Doyoung and made him lose balance. It took all of his might then to not roll his eyes upon seeing who it was, instead Doyoung had forced a smile and politely greeted him.

“Nice to see you again Taeyong,” Doyoung speaks politely, “Is there something I can do for you?” Taeyong was staring over at him. Doyoung couldn’t not look back and observe the man. Today he wore long black ripped pants with way too many chains for Doyoung’s liking, and an equally ripped up black shirt with some random text on it. Somehow he made it look cool, though it was noted by everyone that Taeyong could make any outfit look good.

“I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing with your choreography,” He gives Doyoung a warm smile and moves a few soft strands of pink hair from in front of his eyes. Of course that was what he was for, Doyoung smiles through his disfavor and nods.

“It’s going well. Thank you for checking in.” He turns away, hoping and praying to be left alone but when he looks back Taeyong is still standing there.

“Show me?” At least he was asking this time, but it doesn’t really make Doyoung feel any more excited. So much for a peaceful practice. He goes along, Taeyong is older than him, even though not by much, but he is still older. Taeyong also holds more fame in the company, which means it won’t do too good for Doyoung to refuse him.

Holding in a sigh, Doyoung presses play and positions himself, then begins his routine of dance. He makes sure to fully perform everystep smoothly and makes no mistakes minus one misstep. It reaches the partner section and he stops, breathing heavily a bit but proud of himself. He’s been practicing non stop the past week, no way Taeyong would have anything to say and Doyoung would finally be left alone now.

Doyoung was wrong, after an initial small round of applause from the older, he then walks over and backs up the audio.

“That was good. There’s a few parts I think could be better though, and you need to do this here.” Taeyong imitates some moves, then speaks about using a stronger motion or speeding up certain gestures. Doyoung listens well and quickly makes the changes. “Nice nice,” Taeyong compliments as he looks over Doyoung’s dancing. “Let’s do it from the top.”

“What?” Doyoung blinks a couple times, Lee Taeyong really is crazy, “Y-you don’t even know the full choreography.”

“It’s okay, I memorized the key points when I watched you the other day, you’ll be dancing most of it anyways,” Taeyong shrugs. Doyoung struggles to say anything else. “Quickly, quickly!” Taeyong makes a flapping motion with one hand towards the audio player. It snaps Doyoung from the small trance he was trapped in. Although he can’t believe it himself, he obeys Taeyong’s command and starts it from the beginning, lining up next to him. The two step in unison along with each other, though Taeyongs movements are a lot jerkier while Doyoung keeps his smoother. As he stares in the mirror at their maneuvers, Doyoung understands why Taeyong is known as a dancing king, every move delivers an impact that you can’t peel your eyes away from. He’s a show off..

The track ends but Taeyong immediately sprints over and restarts the song without giving any warning. Doyoung can’t even protest before the older starts making strong noises as the music cues in, it’s a bunch of “ta”s and beatboxing noises. Doyoung concludes it's supposed to represent the flow of the dance and song but he’s really never heard anything like it before. Rehearsals for him were usually in silence, save for singing, but as weird and random as his babble is, Taeyong keeps time. Doyoung doesn’t miss a single beat. Once it finally ends, for the second time, Doyoung halts the music before Taeyong can replay it.

“You’re getting better, I think a few moves still need some more polishing though,” Taeyong pushes his hair back and notes to the younger. Once again, Doyoung just smiles and nods, wishing he would be done evaluating and leave.

“Thank you, I’ll run through it more on my own today.”

Taeyong nods, “Who are you collaborating with?” A conversation wasn’t something Doyoung was anticipating, but then again this guy was unpredictable.

“I don’t know…” Doyoung fades out, questions if he can say yet. If he wasn’t allowed and did tell Taeyong, he wouldn’t hear the end of it from his manager.

Taeyong laughs next to him. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

Doyoung turns his eyebrows down, his tongue swiftly grazing over his lips. “That’s not what I meant, I do know who, I just don’t know if I can tell you,” Doyoung quickly corrects so Taeyong will stop laughing at him.

“Sorry sorry, I understand,” Taeyong stops laughing and stands there smiling. Doyoung has no clue what's going on and moves his eyes over to the door leading out of the studio, hoping for Taeyong to get it. Taeyong doesn’t understand the hint and keeps talking, “I’ll be looking forward to it then, keep working hard! You just released your first full album recently right?”

Doyoung gives a fake laugh, “Thank you, and yes. I released it about two months ago.” Taeyong makes a wowing sound and lightly claps. The younger hesitantly nods in thanks. This topic was suffocating, he hates being asked about himself. Doyoung turns the conversation from him, “Aren’t you releasing something soon too?”

Doyoung watches as Taeyong’s eyes light up with little sparkles from the lights above. “Yes! It’s my next mini album, have you listened to my music before?”

“A couple songs, I like your balance of rap and singing. It’s natural, which is a hard thing to accomplish.” Doyoung wasn’t lying, sure he felt icky around the other artist but good work deserves good praise. He finds it funny as Taeyong suddenly becomes extremely shy, barely stuttering out a thank you and stepping back a bit. More and more shades of Taeyong were revealed at their every meeting, but somehow it didn’t make Doyoung any more comfortable around the older. Something about the guy just irked him, maybe it was how easily everyone praised him or how he could effortlessly learn a choreography that wasn’t even his. It was annoying how he approaches people and acts like they are the bestest friends in the world despite having only passed in the hallway before. That was a personal pet peeve of Doyoung, someone pretending to be your friend out of the blue. Out of all the times it happened to him, in the end he was always a tool for the other person to utilize then throw away. So yeah, he did have his reasons for disliking the boy and not wanting to grow closer.

“I put a lot of my thoughts in my songs, I hope you like them when they come out,” Taeyong explains. Doyoung nods for a third time and glances back at the door. Luckily this time he does it long enough that the older realizes what he’s communicating. Taeyong says nothing more and makes for the door, waving a small goodbye. Doyoung remembers a similar situation from the other day as he watches him leave. He prays this will be the last time they’re standing like this.

Doyoung drops his face the second he’s left alone. With that disturbance gone, he can proceed with his day comfortably. The partner dance section is next but he has it down pretty quickly and soon decides it’s break time. As he plops down on the couch, an incoming text notification disturbs the quiet. Doyoung flips open his phone and sighs. He swipes away a message from his manager reminding of their meeting today. Every Wednesday was a conference day so Doyoung doesn’t see the point in receiving a reminder, his manager should know by now he’d never forget or be late.

Doyoung clicks over to a chat with Jeno and asks if he’s free to grab lunch after the company appointments today. Within a few seconds he receives a happy reply along with the merry ding.

_________________________________________________________________________

**Jeno**

  
Of course! Jaemin is going to come along too, and can you pay? We seem to have both misplaced our wallets~

_________________________________________________________________________

Doyoung knew for a fact that both the younger boys never actually misplaced their money, but somehow he always ends up letting them use that excuse. It was no different today as he sighs and replies with a “Sure, but you’ll both definitely owe me the next time.” He shuts his phone and rests for a little longer before gathering his stuff and heading off to meet his manager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be a little boring now but there is good stuff ahead :)


	3. Chapter 3

“We’ve got the dates set for the final review, your two interviews, and these weeks are when you’ll be performing your title track on music shows. This weekend is the company’s annual anniversary party so no other events are planned then.” Taeyong is handed a paper with his new schedule, it seems to get updated every week with activities but he doesn’t mind. Scanning over it, he listens and memorizes while his managers go over everything. Taeyong nods along to their explanations and asks questions when needed, pretty soon the hour is over and they exit, minus one manager. Suh Youngho, who goes by Johnny, wasn’t just one of Taeyong’s managers, he was also a close friend for several years now. When they both entered the company, Johnny as a young manager and Taeyong as a solo artist, they grew close and were extremely lucky to find out Johnny would be working with Taeyong. 

“What should we have for lunch?” Taeyong asks, sorting out his papers and gently placing them in his binder. 

Johnny crosses his arms and sits back in the chair, “Jaehyun messaged me and said he’d join us today. I think he wants to choose.”

“Jaehyun’s coming today? I thought he had a photoshoot?”

Johnny shakes his head, “It’s tomorrow, he has today off after all. And I think he said his dad wanted to talk to him as well.” Taeyong makes an “ahhh” sound to signify that he understands. Jung Jaehyun is their other friend that completes the trio. He’s a notably well known handsome model who also happens to be the son of a large shareholder in the company. He often comes around the studio to hang with them during his days off because of his access to the building. They also all spend time outside of work together going shopping or playing games in their dorms. 

A ding goes off on Johnny's phone, he checks it then relays the message, “He texted me where he is and says he already has the food, let’s go.” The two stand, Johnny’s towers over Taeyong with his height and it makes him feel tiny. Gathering their stuff, they leave the meeting room and head out to meet Jaehyun. 

“Wow thank you for getting the food Jaehyun,” Taeyong says gleefully. He happily claps at the spread of food before him and begins to dig in before the other two even properly sit down. 

“You’re welcome, but make sure to leave us some,” Jaehyun laughs and starts on his own meal, Johnny settles down as well. They eat in silence for a bit, enveloped in their food, before Jaehyun breaks the silence.

“How is your mini album coming Taeyong?”

Taeyong swallows his mouthful and wipes his face before answering, “I finished touching up the lyrics just the other day, the company allowed me to re-record some last parts. Right now I don’t have much to do but that’ll change in a week or two.” The other two nod, still stuffing their mouths. Taeyong has finished his meal already, too stuffed to take another bit. He sips his drink and something, someone, comes to mind during the silence. “Do you guys know Kim Doyoung? The younger singer in our company?” Johnny nods nonchalantly while Jaehyun shakes his head. “You don’t?” Taeyong frowns over at his friend. 

“I know him of course, but he’s actually older than me. By a year I think?” Jaehyun explains.

“Really?” Taeyong is shocked and blinks a couple times, he really thought Doyoung looked younger than Jaehyun, probably because of his innocent eyes. “Anyways, he came into the practice room the other night and didn’t notice me in the corner. He started practicing some choreography and a new song so I helped him out a bit. He’s really cute.” Taeyong laughs a little thinking about the way the younger boy sticks out his tongue when he’s focusing and widens his eyes after understanding something for the first time. “I knew he was a good singer but I didn’t know he could dance well too.”

Johnny finishes his food and joins the conversation, “You probably didn’t know because he only does dances when the company forces him to, and even then it’s usually only for a collaboration with another artist. I don’t know why exactly, but I asked his manager about it once and he said it’s because he’s more confident when singing.”

“Why wouldn’t he be confident in dancing too?” Taeyong queries, Doyoung has genuine skills so he can’t understand why the boy isn't confident in them. Johnny just shrugs and takes another sip of his water, not answering. “Well, I met him again today, he’s worked really hard in the past few days. He reminds me of a cute bunny too,” Taeyong is smiling again, his friends notice and look at one another, then develop smiles of their own. 

“His nickname is Bunny Prince after all,” Jaehyun states. Taeyong takes a mental note of that, he could use it to mess with the boy later. He turns to Johnny to ask another question. 

“Can I know who he’s doing his collab with? I asked him earlier but he wasn’t sure if he could say. Since you’re a manager you might know.” Taeyong really hopes he can get an answer, for some reason it bothers him not knowing who would be the second person in that choreography. He guesses it’s concern since he’s watched Doyoung work so hard on it the past few days, he doesn’t want him to end up dancing with someone who wasn’t working as hard. 

“I think I can let you know, but obviously you can’t tell anyone or release it anywhere,” Johnny warns. Taeyong nods eagerly and looks straight at Johnny to let him know he can be trusted. “It should be Kim Sejeong. It’s going to be a station track for the company so nothing too big.” Taeyong sits back and ponders, he wasn’t too familiar with Kim Sejeong but he knew enough about her to feel at ease. Well almost at ease, underneath there was still a bit of unrest, it’s origins unknown to Taeyong. He’d formally met Doyoung not but a few days ago and was already worried about him for no reason. 

Their conversation continues on about other projects, their latest interests, funny moments. Within all of the craziness that was Lee Taeyong’s life, it was a breath of fresh air to sit with his friends. No worries, no stress, no pain. 

Soon, the topic shifts over to the company’s upcoming party which gets Taeyong excited. He likes these kinds of scenes, he gets to wear a cool suit and his schedule is freer around the date to allow for preparations and recovery afterwards. Both Johnny and Jaehyun attend too so it was basically an excuse to party for one night with his friends, without the worry of being stalked by fans. The party location is always secure, and only official photographers are let in since everyone from the company is invited. It’s a private and the planners ensure every guest will be comfortable. 

“The important details, what color suits are we all wearing and who else should I arrange at our table?” Johnny asks. 

Jaehyun responds first, “I already picked out a dark grey-blue suit.” He puts his hands up, claiming his outfit first. Johnny and Taeyong both nod then play rock paper scissors to decide who can claim theirs next, Johnny wins. 

“Light grey, I got one that fits perfectly.”

“This works out because I was going to wear black anyways,” Taeyong claps. “But what did you mean about the seating? Isn’t it assigned by the staff?”

Johnny grins, almost evilly, “Jaehyun and I got permission to choose our own table guests, and of course we added you to it. I requested another manager and the two instrumentalists Nakamoto Yuta and Mark Lee.”

“You should add Qian Kun,” Jaehyun suggests. Taeyong agrees with a head nod.

Johnny thinks, “The young producer? Okay. I had wanted to add Ten and Winwin but they said they were going to sit with the other dancers in the company. But they’ll still come over and chat.” Johnny counts on his hands. “That leaves one seat left.” The three ponder for a bit.

“What about Doyoung?” Taeyong offers. 

“I see you’re very interested in this Kim Doyoung,” Jaehyun points out. Taeyong feels his ears get a little hot and shrinks back into his chair. 

“That’s not… I just, he looks lonely and I thought maybe…”

Johnny, being a good friend, saves Taeyong, “That’s okay. I think he’d be good, but does he have other people he might want to sit with? I don’t want him to suffer all night because of you Taeyong.” Johnny laughs a little, no longer being a good friend, and Taeyong makes an offended face. 

“I don’t bother him! I’m just trying to be nice!” Taeyong does think about Johnny’s words though. He actually hasn’t seen Doyoung with many other people in the company, or anyone outside either. 

“I think Haechan told me once that he hangs out with Jeno and Jaemin but I’m not sure,” Jaehyun voices.

“That’s all?” Taeyong looks back at Johnny and gives him a pleading face. “Then it’ll be good for him to sit with us, he can make new friends! Please!” Johnny opens and closes his mouth, then looks to Jaehyun who holds no expression. 

He finally breaks, unable to refuse the puppy dog eyes Taeyong is throwing at him, “Fine, I’ll arrange for him to be at our table. But you'll owe me back for this, and you two better be nice and welcome him. I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t enjoy the night.”

Taeyong celebrates and throws his arms around Johnny. “Thank you!” This was definitely going to be the best annual company party Taeyong has ever attended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehee Taeyong has such great friends.
> 
> Also, I'll be putting a guide to all the members jobs/where they are in this au at the end of Chapter 5. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Doyoung’s meeting finished fifteen minutes ago but Jeno still has not shown up , Jaemin hasn't either. They would be coming together though, like always. Jeno and Jaemin are a duo act in the company, so where one goes the other is sure to follow. Although he spends lots of time with both, Doyoung is still a bit closer with Jeno. They have a lot more similarities, and sometimes Doyoung even feels like Jeno could be his little brother. 

The door to the lounge room creaks open and Jeno walks in, already apoloizing. Jaemin is behind him, apologizing as well. 

“Where were you? I’ve been waiting fifteen minutes?” Doyoung demands, crossing his arms.

“Sorry,” Jeno nervously laughs, “We got caught up in our work.” Doyoung shakes his head but doesn’t blame the boys, he knows how easy it is to get lost in your own music. 

“It’s okay, let’s just go. Is our usual cafe okay?” The other two nod back and follow the older out, leaving the building with masks and hats to hide themselves. They quickly head down a couple streets and enter into a cafe that's hidden from public eyes. It’s quite hard to spot, unless you’re someone deliberately looking to hide from large crowds. The inside is nice and bright, with plants hanging down from the ceiling and cleanly wiped wooden tables. Doyoung takes the younger boys into the back, waving and pulling his mask down so an employee can see as they enter the private area. It’s not a big day or anything, Doyoung sees no reason to eat at a more public or fancier cafe. Plus, they all like this place and it’s quiet atmosphere, something the three introverts appreciate together. 

“You’re paying today right Doyoung?” Jaemin asks innocently. Doyoung looks up with a sigh and nods, Jaemin smiles and laughs dropping his innocent act. 

“One day I swear you two are going to make me broke,” Doyoung mumbles. 

“You’re more popular in the company though, which means you make more money. Plus your family has your brother’s money anyways. You’ll be fine. Now, should I get a sweet drink or something bitter?” Jeno asks. He can easily speak about money because he’s young, Doyoung rolls his eyes. 

“I’m getting iced coffee,” Jaemin states, not looking up from his menu.

“As expected. You should really drink less caffeine,” Jeno makes a face at Jaemin who looks up and makes one back. 

“I run on caffeine, stop consuming it and I’d shut down.”

“See, that’s exactly why you should start drinking it less! What if all the coffee in the world suddenly disappeared, what would you do? I would have to take care of you and make sure you don’t sleep all the time,” Jeno complains.

Jaemin retorts, “But that will never happen because coffee will never disappear, I will always have it.” The two boys go back and forth about the possibility of coffee going extinct.

Sometimes when he hands out with them, Doyoung feels like a third wheel. They get lost in their own conversations with each other, bicker about things and gush over others. It always makes Doyoung wish he could have a best friend like that, one he could tell everything to and fight with comfortably. For his whole life, his best friend and pretty much only friend had been his brother. Once Gong Myung’s acting career really took off and Doyoung entered SM as a solo artist, they rarely had any time left to hang out or speak. Late nights alone often remind Doyoung of how isolated he can feel from everyone. Of course he has his connection with his fans, but he isn’t able to be with them in person. They send him love and support, but there are still missing pieces in Doyoungs life that he doesn’t know how to fill. 

Drinks and food arrive after a little while and the three’s conversations pick up while they stuff themselves. Today's hot topic: the company’s annual party. They may be introverts but a party always excites the younger two, especially Jaemin who is going through every possible thing he can wear. 

“I’m just going to wear a black suit, no reason to go overboard with a fancy design or silk shirt or anything.” Doyoung pushes his chair back, leaning away from the table.

Jaemin frowns at him, “Why can’t you at least wear a blue jacket or something. I know you always have some of the best outfits in the company, besides Lee Taeyong of course.”

“Ah don’t mention that name,” Doyoung instantly makes a face of disgust and holds his hands up to stop them. Jeno and Jaemin look at each other in confusion. 

“Why?” Jeno finally asks. 

Doyoung sighs, “I’m not a huge fan of Taeyong. He’s barged in while I’ve been practicing a couple times and randomly started instructing me on dance.”

“I see, but doesn’t that mean he was just trying to give advice. Maybe he didn’t do it in the best way but it must have helped. He is the Lee Taeyong after all,” Jeno points out, referring to the fact that Taeyong is extremely well known as an outstanding dancer. 

“I don’t care if he helped, he could have at least asked me first. But no, instead he messes with my audio player, pretends like he’s helping only to then laugh at me, and enters into my studio unannounced without an invitation,” Doyoung huffs.

“Sounds like he’s really annoying then,” Jaemin laughs, he speaks in a mocking tone. Doyoung widens his eyes in disbelief, are his only friends really taking Taeyong’s side.

“Hey, you better watch it or I’m never buying you two lunch again.”

Jeno grabs Jaemins hands and shakes them towards Doyoung. “Don’t worry, we’re sorry.” 

After the two finish with their lame apology, the conversation somehow turns back to the company’s event. Jeno and Jaemin already know they will be at the same table, since they’re a duet in the company, it’s guaranteed and required they be seated next to one another. Doyoung on the other hand, never has any clue where he will be placed. He got lucky the past year and was given a spot at the same table as Jeno and Jaemin. The years before though, he didn’t have such luck and was forced to stay all night with people in the company he’d seen but never talked to before. The only other person he’s ever been close to at SM is Ten, a dancer in the company. After a few years of their careers taking over daily life, their close relationship faded and now any encounter is filled with awkwardness. This relates to another reason why Doyoung dislikes Taeyong, the boy seems to have a really close bond with Ten. The two had done a quite risqué song together a year ago titled “Baby Don’t Stop” and while it definitely wasn’t jealousy Doyoung felt when watching it, there is always an anger bubbling inside whenever it’s mentioned. 

“I think it’s unfair we don’t get to choose seats, I mean it’s a party right? Parties are supposed to be fun, not torture,” Doyoung complains to his friends. 

“The point is you’re supposed to socialize with people in the company, and besides you aren’t glued to your seat. You can get up and come talk to us if we’re at different tables,” Jeno reassures him. 

“I know,” Doyong sighs, “It’s just always so boring. And you know I don’t speak that much to anybody else in the company besides you two and my manager, what if I’m put at a table with people I’ve never even seen before?” A bit of panic kicks in, Doyoung might end up skipping the party this year if it means he doesn’t have to spend a painful night sitting with strangers.

“I think,” Jaemin notes, “You should take the opportunity to make more friends.” Jeno nods in agreement. Doyoung does not like this suggestion and stops to pay the bill before giving any kind of response. He hopes they drop the subject. Once all the food is paid for, the younger two spring up and thank him again for lunch, discussing the topic no more. 

“You’re leaving already?” Doyoung frowns and stands up too.

Jeno speaks, “Yeah sorry, we have a lot to get back to. Thanks for the food! I promise to pay you back for it… eventually.” They begin to leave him but just before exiting, Jeamin turns back around. 

“Hey Doyoung,” he calls out.

“Mmh?”

“Maybe you can become friends with Taeyong at the party.” Jaemin gives a devious smile as Doyoung sticks his tongue out. 

“Gross!” He yells out at the two boys, but they’re long gone. Doyoung sighs and grabs his small bag. He considers quickly texting his brother and offering to get an invitation for him to the party. Gong Myung used to always take Doyoung to his actor parties. His fingers linger over the keyboard as he considers, but eventually all Doyoung sends is a message congratulating his brother on his most recent award. Gong Myung is always busy now, he probably won’t be able to come anyways. Besides, maybe going to the party wouldn’t be too bad. Jeno and Jaemin were right, he can still hang out with them even if he doesn’t end up seated at their table. Nothing too crazy can happen in one night, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Doyoung isn't a complete loner! He has friends! 
> 
> P.s. I don't think you're ready for the next chapter :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time! But we all know Taeyong is weak with alcohol, can Doyoung handle him?

No way. No freaking way. If Doyoung wasn’t in the presence of literally all these people he would curse, but he spares the crudeness. Out of every table he could have been placed at tonight, Doyoung’s nameplate is folded nicely next to a name that does not spark joy in his heart. Lee Taeyong. He is going to have to sit next to Lee Taeyong, suffer through a night of being next to a guy he was not fond of in any way. Why did he convince himself coming was a good idea? Doyoung is never going to listen to Jeno and Jaemin ever again. 

Doyoung looks over to the photo area where guests enter from, his stomach flips as he spots the unmistakable figure of Taeyong dressed in a black suit with a patterned silk shirt. The shirt loosely hangs down a bit exposing the man’s collarbone, Doyoung sticks his tongue out disapproving of the obvious show. As the cameras flash, Taeyong turns his head for his sharp jawline to be captured and slicks back his light pink hair. Displaying a serious expression with ease, one glance of his could probably kill thousands. As Doyoung stares, something inside him flutters a bit and suddenly his hands are sweating. Taeyong meets his eye for a split second, causing a panic to set off inside the younger who immediately turns away. Doyoung really hopes that didn’t actually happen. A voice calls out behind him a few seconds later, he groans.

“Doyoung!” Taeyong happily shouts to him while running over, his friends trailing behind. “What luck you ended up at our table tonight!” Doyoung returns Taeyong’s smile, but his is less genuine. 

“Yes, what a fortunate event,” Doyoung fakes a laugh for Taeyong’s sake. He doesn’t look over when the chair next to him is pulled out and occupied by the older, instead Doyoung turns his attention to the other two claiming their spots. 

“I’m Johnny.” The taller of the two reaches out a hand and Doyoung shakes it, he’s definitely seen this guy around the company before. “I’m one of Taeyong’s managers, and a long time friend,” he explains. Doyoung nods in understanding, then looks at the black haired attractive man next. He recognizes him as the popular model Jung Jaehyun.

“I’m Jaehyun, also a friend of Taeyong and Johnny’s. You might have seen me somewhere before because I do modeling. I frequent the building a lot too since my father is a shareholder in the company.” Doyoung stays on the edge of his seat as they finish their formalities. Even though Jaehyun is the only official model here, all three sitting next to one another have such superior visuals, Doyoung feels plain in comparison. 

Within the next few minutes, others come to join the table as well. Doyoung has seen most of them before, all guests are from the company after all. He’s glad to find the producer Kun, who he knows a little better through musical work, to be seated on his other side. Two instrumentalists who help make tracks for SM artists songs sit down as well, the percussionist Yuta and the guitarist Mark. The last seat is taken by another manager in the company who seems to be close with Johnny. 

It isn’t too bad after all, the presence of Kun, Yuta, Mark, even Jaehyun and Johnny feels warm. Their niceness to Doyoung doesn’t feel forced or fake. The only part Doyoung isn’t enjoying is the bubbly, excited Taeyong next to him. Doyoung swears this guy never loses energy, it’s only the beginning of the party so hopefully he’ll calm down a bit as the night goes on. 

Doyoung is lost in his own thoughts, listening to the others converse at the table when a server comes offering a trey of alcohol. Doyoung grabs one casually, as does everyone else at the table but as Taeyong brings his in front of him, Johnny reaches over. Taeyong swats his hand away and frowns. 

“Do not drink too much of that, I don’t want to have to carry you home again,” Johnny warns. Doyoung looks over in confusion, intrigued. 

“I promise that won’t happen! I’m getting better, and it’s a party, it wouldn’t be fun if I didn’t drink a little,” Taeyong whines. Jaehyun just smiles and shakes his head while Johnny stares down the pink haired boy. 

Doyoung connects the dots and widens his eyes, leaning in forward a bit, “Wait, don’t tell me you’re weak with alcohol Taeyong.”

Johnny answers before Taeyong can, “Oh he is so bad with it, one sip and he’s practically up in the clouds. Kind of annoying though because I’m always the one making sure he doesn’t drunk message his fans or something.” Doyoung can’t believe it, the Lee Taeyong, this perfect guy that everyone adores is actually really bad at something. He lets a laugh escape, imagining a woozy Taeyong rambling after drinking one glass. The trio on his left turn to him in surprise, having never heard his laugh before. 

“You can’t be serious, he’s that bad with alcohol?” Doyoung asks, wanting to tease the pouting boy next to him. Taeyong’s friends catch on and evily grin. 

“He really is,” Jaehyun laughs, “this one time we were out for some holliday and after his first glass Taeyong decided it would be a good idea to-”

“Ah stop stop!” Taeyong waves his hands, his ears are practically the same shade as his hair, except brighter. So Lee Taeyong does get embarrassed, Doyoung thinks.

“No please tell me more,” Doyoung requests, “I want to know what kind of trouble he gets into.” Johnny and Jaehyun smirk and ignore their friend’s frantic motions trying to get them to shut up. They share several stories about Taeyong with Doyoung. He happily laughs at every one, delighting in the idea that Taeyong would do such things. The image described by Jaehyun of Taeyong’s face the morning after only makes him laugh more, Doyoung slaps his knees in excitement. During this time, Taeyong continuously sinks deeper and deeper into his chair, turning redder with every retelling. Despite all the evidence that he handles drinks poorly, he still sips on his alcohol innocently. 

After laughing for a while, their conversation moves onto other things. Doyoung is enjoying the company of Johnny and Jaehyun, they’re quite funny and don’t put up a persona. He appreciates that, wishing he could do the same. 

Doyoung’s fun is interrupted though, as groups from other tables begin to come over and chat with Taeyong. He grows nervous spotting Ten and his friends approaching. A small part of Doyoung hopes Ten is coming to see him, but they never talk anymore so why would he be? The expectant look Taeyong is giving to Ten tells it all anyways, Ten is coming to see Taeyong. Doyoung politely excuses himself and get up from the table before anyone can question him, he walks briskly over to Jeno and Jaemin. The two are sharing some side dish together, clearly immersed in a discussion of their own. 

“So you two weren’t planning on trying to save me?” Doyoung taps his foot as the two look up at him with bright eyes. 

“Doyoung!” Jeno exclaims, he grabs the olders arm and pulls him into the empty chair beside him. 

Jaemin laughs, “We were going to but it looked like you didn’t need any saving, what were you guys laughing about over there?”

“Just some stories about Taeyong, he apparently cannot handle alcohol at all,” Doyoung explains, smiling again at the discovery of the perfect man’s imperfection. 

“I thought you didn’t like Taeyong,” Jeno raises an eyebrow, “but now you’re laughing with him? Has our Kim Doyoung made a new friend?”

Doyoung sticks his tongue out, a habit of his when he’s disgusted. “Taeyong and I are not friends, and we were laughing at him anyways, not with him. I will admit that his friends aren’t too bad though.”

“I think Doyoung is ready to replace us Jeno,” Jaemin jokes. Jeno laughs and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, you could never be replaced by anyone,” Jeno says to Jaemin. The two share a fond look but Doyoung ignores the moment, he’s used to it. Doyoung looks back at his table, Taeyong is still conversing with Ten, another performer named Winwin and the youngest dancer, Jisung. He turns back around and meets eyes with the newest comer in the company, a solo artist who’s Chinese. Doyoung can only describe him as gentle looking with a kind aura about him, the two sit in an awkward staring contest for a few seconds. 

“Doyoung, this is Huang Renjun. He’s the newest artist under SM,” Jeno speaks, saving them both. The two snap out of their staring and nod their heads at one another. 

“I really like all your music Doyoung,” the younger artist says shyly. 

Doyoung laughs in thanks, still with some awkwardness, “Thank you. Are you a singer?” Renjun nods, but their conversation abruptly ends there, neither know what to say to the other. This is fine though, they’d only just met so it’s only natural there isn’t much to say. 

Jeno nudges Doyoung with his shoulder and utters a warning, “Bubblegum hair boy is approaching, better prepare your smile.” Doyoung hears Jeno laugh a little as he whips around to spot an oncoming Lee Taeyong taking big strides. Taeyong doesn’t give any precursor as he grabs Doyoung’s wrists and drags him up from the table. 

“Hey, wait, what are you doing? Taeyong-”

“Come on, let’s go take a picture together!” Taeyong cheerily sings. Doyoung looks over at him and notices the older’s neck has turned completely red, so have his ears. The blushing color is different from his embarrassed flushing though. Don’t tell me he’s really already drunk, Doyoung thinks. Johnny and Jaehyun clearly weren’t joking around when they said he’d pass out on the floor ten minutes in sometimes. 

Doyoung tries his best to protest the man’s grip but Taeyong is surprisingly really strong. 

“Taeyong, let go. Come on, please let go,” Doyoung pleads but Taeyong just looks back at him with beady eyes and doesn’t say anything. As they pass their table again Doyoung glances over at Johnny and Jaehyun who are wrapped up in a conversation with Kun, they hadn’t noticed their friend missing. He shoots them a desperate look screaming “save me” and the two jump up, rushing over to the scene. Johnny grabs Taeyong but Taeyong pushes him away.

“Taeyong, what are you doing? Let him go,” Johnny demands, but his voice still has a kindness to it. The pink hair boy stops and pouts, still grasping onto Doyoung’s wrist. 

“But I want to take a picture with Doie,” Taeyong whines. Was it just Doyoung or was Taeyong getting whinier and whinier like a baby. 

“Doie?” Doyoung questions with widened eyes, he had not approved of any nicknames, and he was definitely not going to accept one given to him by Lee Taeyong. 

“Doie, Doie, Doie, bunny prince Doie,” Taeyong repeats. Doyoung’s insides boil, his face flushes at Taeyong’s words. It must be his anger bubbling up at the ridiculous names, Doyoung doesn’t know how much longer he’ll be able to stand near this guy. Jaehyun shakes his head while Johnny apologizes to Doyoung for his embarrassment of a friend.

Jaehyun turns to Doyoung, “I think we let him drink too much, and knowing him, he’s not going to let it go until he gets what he wants. Could you just take one picture with him, he’ll probably leave you alone then.” One picture and he would be left alone? If that’s all it takes, Doyoung is more than willing. He nods and sees the two boys visibly sigh, their shoulders dropping in ease. Taeyong also claps and makes some weird happy noises. Doyoung lets himself then be dragged by Taeyong over to where the photographer is, he stands upright next to the older and positions his right face so the camera can capture it perfectly. 

“Why won’t you face the other way?” Taeyong huffs, positioning himself in a power stance.

“I only take pictures of the right side of my face,” Doyoung states. He looks over as Taeyong inches in closer, a completely focused expression now on his face. Taeyong is staring over the camera giving Doyoung a chance to scan over his features. Perfectly smooth skin, a cute nose, attractive eyes, beautiful lips that are always pouting a little bit, hell even Taeyong’s ears draw attention. It’s unfair how godly he’s built, maybe that’s why Doyoung can’t stop the flustered feelings inside him, because he’s jealous of how naturally good Taeyong looks. 

Before turning to face the camera, Doyoung notices something he hasn’t seen before, a small scar directly next to Taeyong’s right eye. It is hard to see from afar, due to being covered in layers of foundation, but upclose Doyoung can’t not notice it. The scar slightly resembles a little rose. It’s actually quite fitting for the young rapper’s image, but it also makes Doyoung think about his own scar. His isn’t something that could be considered beautiful, Doyoung thinks his is ugly. A stupid little mark next to his mouth that he loaths and nevers leave his dorm without thoroughly covering. 

Just as Doyoung faces the camera, it flashes. The one picture is done, he mistakenly thinks he’s in the clear but as Doyoung turns away, Taeyong spins him back around. He has that same little frown he’s been giving all night, his expression once again completely changed in a few seconds. 

“One more, please,” Taeyong begs. Doyoung sighs, he wants to refuse but Taeyong already has him in his grasp. 

“Fine, one. But this is really the last one.” Doyoung expects it to be taken the same as the first, but Taeyong pulls Doyoung even closer and places an arm on the younger’s shoulder. “What-” Taeyong silences him with a single finger and pushes his head towards the camera, face already looking serious again. His intense stare is no joke, so Doyoung complies and stands in the position. Once the picture is taken he pushes Taeyong’s arm off him and speeds out of there. Running back to his seat and covering his face in disbelief at what’s just happened. Taeyong skips happily over and sits back down. 

“I’m so happy now!” Taeyong claps, he reaches for his drink but Johnny pulls it away, the two get into a mini fight. 

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun addresses him, “You and Taeyong’s visuals together are no joke. You really compliment each other well.”

“Thank you,” Doyoung replies. Jaehyun was probably just saying that because Taeyong always looks good, everyone is always looking at him, so he just wants to be nice to Doyoung. 

“You think so?” Taeyong joins in, giving up on trying to retrieve his drink from Johnny. Jaehyun nods, and so does Johnny as well. 

“I think so too, plus your outfits kind of coordinate since you’re both wearing black,” Johnny points out. 

Doyoung gives a fake laugh, “I guess so.” 

Time passes and the party continues on. Johnny gets caught up talking with Yuta and Mark while Taeyong fights with Jaehyun as he tries to steal his drink. Doyoung returns to Jeno and Jaemin, talking to them for the rest of the night. Eventually the late hours begin to affect Doyoung so he gets up, ready to leave and clock out for the night. Before he gets even halfway to the exit, a tap on his shoulder turns him around. 

Jaehyun stands behind him holding up a giggling Taeyong who’s whole face is now red and eyes are barely open. 

“I hate to ask but Johnny is busy right now and I need some help. I think Taeyong must have grabbed some of my drink while I wasn’t looking and now he’s… yeah. Can you assist me in getting him out of here? It looks like you were about to leave too. Taeyong tends to get whiney and feisty when he’s like this and I don’t want to accidentally let go and he makes a run for it.” Jaehyun laughs nervously and positions a dizzy Taeyong upright. Doyoung looks over at the pink haired mess, after the photo he hoped to stay away from him for the rest of the night. The guy really does look like he needs help and Jaehyun’s own face screams “help me” too. He takes pity on them, and he may not like Taeyong all that much but Doyoung knows how important it is to monitor someone when they are drunk. It’s like watching a toddler. Plus, he feels comfortable around Jaehyun and took a liking to him, so thinking of it as helping Jaehyun more than Taeyong is relieving. 

Doyoung nods and grabs the other side of the half asleep Taeyong. Jaehyun whispers thank you as they walk to a company car and place him inside the back. Jaehyun climbs into the passenger side and gives the driver information on where to go. He rolls down his window and looks back at Doyoung.

“Aren’t you getting in?” He asks.

“It’s okay, I’m going to take a taxi home,” Doyoung explains. 

Jaehyun shakes his head, “No, you can ride for free with us. I might need some help getting him up to his dorm anyways.” The two stare back at Taeyong who is slumped over now, Doyoung is sure he’s fallen completely asleep at this point. He lets out a little sigh and opens the door, placing himself in the car next to the sleepy pink head. The driver punches in the dorm location and starts the route, Doyoung notices it’s quite close to his own destination. That’s a relief, he didn’t want to end up being a burden or hassle to Jaehyun. 

As they drive Taeyong shuffles a bit in his seat, making a few random noises here and there. Doyoung ignores him and stares out the window, watching the buildings pass by and the stars reflecting in their windows. It’s a peaceful ride, something Doyoung needs after the high stimulation of the party. 

At least it was peaceful for a bit, but Lee Taeyong somehow has a habit of ruining Doyoung’s tranquility these days. A heavy head lands upon Doyoung’s shoulder and nestles against it, eventually unmoving. Doyoung slowly turns his neck and peers down at the sleeping Taeyong who is leaning against him. He looks so peaceful, opposite to Doyoung who is completely freaking out right now. Who gave him the right to look that perfect even when drunk and completely passed out on a coworkers shoulder? Doyoung thinks the world is getting more and more unfair, choosing obvious favorites. 

He is tempted to push the older's head off of him, but at this point Doyoung lets it be. They soon arrive at the housing building and Jaehyun opens the car door, helping to lift Taeyong out. The two carry him up to the property, Jaehyun then transfers all of Taeyong’s weight onto him as Doyoung holds open the door. Doyoung goes to follow but the model waves his hands and continues on without him. 

Jaehyun whispers, “You can wait in the car, I’ll be right back out.” Doyoung nods, happy to be free and heads back into the car like Jaehyun suggests. He waits for a couple minutes, staring down at his phone to pass the time before the door in front of him opens again and Jaehyun plops down with a sigh. “Now that that’s all taken care of, where’s your place?” Doyoung gives the address and Jaehyun plugs it in, the car starts up again and Doyoung once again finds himself gazing out the window. 

Once they arrive, Doyoung reaches to open his door. 

“Before you go, thank you for helping tonight, really. Is there some way I can repay you?” Jaehyun asks. 

Doyoung pauses, then he shakes his head. “It’s okay, you don’t owe me anything, it wasn’t any trouble. The ride was sufficient enough.”

“No please, Taeyong can really be a handful,” Jaehyun laughs, “I just know he’ll be dying from embarrassment in the morning, then he’ll beg for our forgiveness and insist on finding a way to pay us back. At least let me owe you a favor in the future, can I have your number?” 

Doyoung ponders Jaehyun’s words and concludes this isn’t the worst thing. He hands over his phone and Jaehyun copies the contact, then adds his own in. Once Doyoung receives his phone back, he thanks Jaehyun once more for the ride and hops out. Doyoung sighs heavily once safely inside his dorm and pretty much passes out from exhaustion the second he hits his pillow after showering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this one was long, did you enjoy it?
> 
> Here's what everyone from NCT/WayV are in this world:
> 
> Singers/Solo Artists:  
> \------------------  
> Taeyong  
> Doyoung  
> Jungwoo  
> Xiaojun  
> Haechan  
> Renjun - (recently joined company)  
> Taeil
> 
> Instrumentalists:  
> \---------------  
> Mark - (guitar)  
> Yuta - (percussion)  
> Yangyang - (piano/strings)  
> Hendery - (percussion/piano)
> 
> Producers:  
> \---------  
> Kun  
> Chenle - (He is training under Kun to become a producer)
> 
> Models:  
> \--------  
> Jaehyun  
> Lucas
> 
> Duo Artists:  
> \-----------  
> Jeno - (w/Jaemin)  
> Jaemin - (w/Jeno)
> 
> Managers:  
> \----------  
> Johnny - (also does piano for tracks sometimes)
> 
> Dancers:  
> \---------  
> Ten  
> Winwin  
> Jisung


	6. Chapter 6

Doyoung is slipping on a hoodie when his phone dings. He expects it to be Jeno complaining about a headache or something leftover from the night before, but it is definitely not Jeno. He blinks down at the name and message displayed, hardly believing it’s real as he replies. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Lee Taeyong**

Hey Doyoung, this is Lee Taeyong :D Jaehyun said he added me in your contacts last night so you know it’s really me. I just wanted to sincerely apologize for my behavior last night, I’m really sorry for all the trouble I caused… Please forgive me!

**Kim Doyoung**

Ahaha no worries. Make sure to watch your drinking next time :)

_________________________________________________________________________

Doyoung can’t believe Jaehyun sneaked in Taeyong’s contact like that. Whatever, his day is ruined. Lee Taeyong has his contact now, at least he was using it to apologize instead of bothering him. Shaking his head, Doyoung finishes getting ready and grabs his stuff to head over to the studio. Today Kim Sejeong, the singer he’s collaborating with, will be coming in to practice singing and dancing together before recording in a week or two. Doyoung only hopes he practiced enough to not disappoint her or embarrass himself. 

He shows up right on time, early actually, but for Doyoung 30 minutes before is when he is supposed to be there. Being late is not an option, he always keeps up on timing. Doyoung makes for one of the upstairs practice rooms and looks through the open doors at the countless artists practicing and rehearsing. One twirling figure catches his eye and makes him stop outside the ajar door, halted in the hallway. He recognizes the familiar shade of faded pink hair bouncing around, of course it belongs to Lee Taeyong.

The jewel of SM is currently dancing his heart out, clearly giving it his all as the music blasts so loud Doyoung could feel the vibrations from where he stands. It’s a whole different display from before. Doyoung thinks back to when he had to literally carry Taeyong out from the party, he could barely keep his eyes open or even walk straight. Yet here he is fully awake and practicing hard. Taeyong is insane, Doyoung thinks. He shakes his head, Taeyong better be taking care of himself. 

Doyoung leaves the hall and stretches in his practice room first before warming up. He makes sure to be completely prepared for when Sejeong arrives. Soon, she creaks the door open and greets Doyoung who immediately stands and approaches her. The two go right into practice, reviewing the partner dance together and pointing out certain moments to anticipate beforehand. Business talk isn’t hard for Doyoung and their conversation mainly stays focused on the song and dance making the practice easy and comfortable for him. 

A couple of the motions include Doyoung dipping Sejeong or the two coming quite close but it’s not a big hassle. It’s all for his job so Doyoung doesn’t get flustered, he notices that Sejeong does a little but that’s normal for most people. Doyoung is just different, he guesses. 

For an hour or two all they do is repeat the steps, talking and improving the intersected area, making changes occasionally. Eventually their steps lose impact and they two are breathing heavily so Doyoung suggests taking a short break. Sejeong agrees, grabbing her water bottle and drinking from it. 

Sejeong sinks back into the couch while Doyoung sits a few cushions away staying upright. He downs half his bottle before looking over. 

“You attended the company party last night right?” Sejeong suddenly asks. A little bit of conversing is fine, Doyoung convinces himself.

He nods, “Yes. It’s a large event so I wouldn’t miss it.” Doyoung brings his water bottle back up to his mouth and takes a few more sips. 

“So you really did take those pictures with Taeyong last night?” Doyoung throws a hand over his mouth to keep from spitting out the water he’s now choking on. How does Sejeong know about that? Do more people know? Doyoung doesn’t know the photos are already published, and while he knows there’s a possibility the ones he took with Taeyong would be used, he thought usually only the entrance photos are released

“Where did you see those?”

Sejeong cocks her head, “The photos from last night were printed this morning. They even specifically posted you and Taeyong’s photos on the company’s social media sites. You two really stole all the attention, I’m surprised I hadn’t seen any images of you guys next to each other before.” Doyoung’s fake laugh escapes again, a defense mechanism to hide his unease, or his true feelings. 

“We only took them because our seats were next to each other.”

Sejeong frowns, “So you two aren’t friends?”

Doyoung shakes his head, “Sorry to let you down but no, we only know each other through the company. Nothing more than coworkers, you know how it is.”

“Well,” she sighs, then her expression turns darker, “my advice is to take any opportunity possible to advance your career. The public is already going wild over those two pictures, maybe if you were to be seen together more it would increase both your fan bases.”

“I guess so,” Doyoung utters. He isn’t one to leech off anyone else, and especially not Taeyong. If he is going to gain popularity it will be through his music, his lyrics that he spends countless nights writing, and the melodies that come to him at ten am after a small breakdown in the shower. Who cares if his and Taeyong’s visuals are good, it is their art that matters most. Furthermore, Doyoung does not want to allocate any second more of his lifetime with Lee Taeyong, that guy is not his friend. 

Following more rest, both artists eventually rise from their spots on the couch and get back to rehearsal. Choreography, vocals, all aspects they begin to run through again. Doyoung concentrates only on his work, he throws what Sejeong said out of his mind. 

No distractions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're only on chapter 6 out of 45 so enjoy this calm :)
> 
> (P.s. You guys don't have to worry about if this will get finished. I've already written more than half of the chapters, I just edit and post one a day. Once I finish writing all of it I'll post more chapters per day.)


	7. Chapter 7

Taeyong stumbles a bit on the last step, his legs can barely hold his weight up and beg to meet with the floor. The sweat dripping down his face pools on his chin and slowly falls to the ground, Taeyong soon follows the drops down. He breathes heavily for a few seconds, his vision a little blurry but he doesn’t let this stop him. He needs to get it perfect before the release, it was his fault for drinking too much last night and he was willing to suffer through the consequences. Splitting headache and all. 

The music is on repeat but Taeyong decides it’s better to take a small rest before pushing himself any further. He uses the towel set aside on his bag to wipe his face and drapes it around his neck. With every step the world around him spins a little.

Pain is the least of Taeyong’s worries right now, there’d been plenty of practice times he’d come in with a fever or hungover. He can handle those times well, but thinking about Kim Doyoung helping him stumble home makes him groan more than the headache does. Really, he can’t remember much but Jaehyun texted him that morning and explained most of what happened, Taeyong regrets all of it. The one good thing that came from it was Jaehyun being able to slip Doyoung’s contact to him, and put Taeyong’s contact into Doyoung’s phone. Taeyong immediately sent an apology to Doyoung, this is not how Taeyong wants to start out his friendship with the younger singer. 

Taeyong squeezes his water bottle, desperate for hydration but only a few drops come out. He sighs and slowly raises from the floor, walking out into the hallway towards the water station. The empty hallway welcomes him, the water station fully stocked and chilled with ice. Taeyong fills his bottle to the top and chugs down half of it, then refills it once more. A few minutes go by but he doesn’t move, the air conditioning in the hallway is far superior than the suffocating studio. Eventually though, Taeyong sighs, sipping his water for a final time and walks back in the direction of his practice room. Sounds from the closed door next to his room catches Taeyong’s attention. He’s heard the tune before, making him instantly backup and peer through the door’s window. Upon seeing the practice session, his stomach drops and a sting tugs at his heart. 

Inside the studio Taeyong sees a tall boy with black hair gently dancing around a long brown haired girl. The two are twirling around one another, singing and stepping along to the music. Taeyong can recognize that bunny face anywhere, but he doesn’t want to believe it actually is Doyoung who’s dipping the girl right now. He can’t deny it, it's the same music and motions from their practice the other day. For some reason, Taeyong can’t turn his head away. Something about watching the two entangle and jump together, no one else but them, dampers his already dull day. Taeyong frowns and runs fingers through his hair.

The stinging attacks him again when the girl, who he assumes is Kim Sejeong, accidentally steps on Doyoungs foot and the two burst out laughing. Taeyong can imagine the sweet laughter erupting from the boy, he got a taste of it at the party when Doyoung laughed at his drunk stories. It’s a pleasant sound, and even though Taeyong had been cowering behind his hands in embarrassment all night, he was also hiding his ridiculously large smile at the time. It is one of the few things he remembered from the night. God how he longs to hear it again. 

Taeyong forces himself to look away as Doyoung pulls the girl in close, their faces a few centimeters away. He’s not an evil person, and would never hurt anyone but right then, Taeyong had gotten the urge to shove Sejeong just a little, separate the two at any cost. Is this what jealousy is like, Taeyong wonders. 

No, no. What reason does Taeyong have to be jealous? He and Doyoung are new friends, only recently interacting more. He hasn’t hung out with Doyoung for years like with Jaehyun and Johnny. They aren’t best friends, they aren’t super close. Does he find Doyoung cute, especially when he is flustered? Absolutely. Has he had his eye on Doyoung for years because the boy intrigues him? The answer is also yes. None of these things gave a strong reason as to why he was feeling envious right now though. 

Taeyong doesn’t even have to convince himself to hole up back in the studio, he happily sets the music’s volume louder. Anything to erase the images in his head currently affecting his heart. He wishes he never stopped to watch, Taeyong doesn’t think it’s that serious. Yet here he is, heavily sweating as he pushes himself to dance faster and harder so all thoughts will dissipate. It works so well he completely forgets about his headache as well, until the second he takes a break and the splitting pain returns. Taeyong curls on the ground, grasping his head in pain and frustration. 

He shouldn’t be feeling like this, but throughout the entire practice he couldn’t shake Doyoung from his mind. At first it was feeling ashamed that Doyoung had to deal with his drunk self last night, and now it’s his unease over seeing Doyoung practicing his own dance for his job. Taeyong needs to watch himself. Just like dancing, falling too hard always leaves a bruise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh sorry if it's a bit low quality this one. It's i-land friday and I got very... angry at them for changing the final lineup number from 12 to 7 so yea. Couldn't focus as well on the edits. If you don't know what i'm talking about its okay lol. 
> 
> Hope you're liking it though!


	8. Chapter 8

It’s Wednesday again and Taeyong expects to have his regular meeting like always then grab lunch with Jaehyun and Johnny. Those plans are ruined the second he walks in to find Doyoung and his managers seated across from Johnny and the other managers. There’s a bit of chatter but it dies down as Taeyong freezes in the doorway. The sight of Doyoung, and him with freshly straightened hair keeps him from moving quickly. He liked the wavy black looked but this is such a good fit for Doyoung as well. 

“Come and sit Taeyong, the company has some matters to discuss with you and Doyoung so your meetings will both take place here,” Johnny explains. Taeyong goes over and sits in his seat, not turning away from looking at Doyoung who's on the other side of Johnny. Right now he’s staring down at some paper and Taeyong leans over to see. Doyoung flinches back a bit and pushes the paper to Taeyong making him lean away. 

“I’ve already read it.” Doyoung crosses his arm. Taeyong thanks him and looks down, it’s an article discussing the company’s most recent party with pictures of artist attendees scattered throughout. His eyes linger and stop at one he definitely doesn’t remember taking, it’s him and Doyoung standing close while gazing into the camera. A smaller one below it has them even closer and Taeyong’s arm is on Doyoung’s shoulder. Taeyong’s eyes widen but he keeps his screaming inside since the managers are present, Jaehyun didn’t tell him he did anything like this. He moves on to read a bit of the article, it basically praises him and Doyoung for their visuals and talks about their recent achievements in the company. 

“The public wants to see more of you two,” Johnny places another few articles in front of the two boys. They’re a bit older, just some interviews each of them did separately. Doyoung’s about his recent album and Taeyong’s about his upcoming music. 

“Currently, I’m sure you’re both aware, you two are under the eye of the public with their increasing interest in you,” another manager speaks as a third article is thrown down. This one Taeyong hasn’t seen before either but the title reads “The Two Top Upcoming Solo Artists from SM” and a picture collaging images of Taeyong and Doyoung performing is displayed below it. Taeyong has a clue as to what they’re getting at and so far, he’s liking what he thinks it is. He looks over at Doyoung who does not seem to understand and has his eyes widened in questioning. 

“The company has set up a photoshoot and interview for the two of you,” Johnny finally states. 

“A photoshoot?” Taeyong wonders, he thought it would be a collaboration together but maybe his hopes were too high. Still, a photoshoot gives them the opportunity to grow closer. 

Johnny nods his head at Taeyong, and at an unmoving Doyoung. “Yes, the magazine Elle contacted us and asked to do a special coverage of you two specifically. It’s all been worked out already, here is the details.” Both Tayeong and Doyoung are handed sheets with a schedule and a list of requirements, Taeyong places it on the table while Doyoung quickly scans it over. 

Overjoyed at the news, Taeyong barely stays still throughout the rest of the meeting. He can’t help but constantly glance over at Doyoung who doesn’t say much, he nods his head a lot. He seems to have a habit of licking his lips as well and if anything surprises him, his eyes widen and eyebrows raise. Taeyong finds it endearing how expressive he is, and how his rested face still looks like a cute bunny. The seriousness in Doyoung’s eyes when he looks over at Taeyong makes him flush a bit, also embarrassed at getting caught for staring.

The hour wraps up, Taeyong moves to talk with Doyoung but the black haired boy dashes out before Taeyong can get any words in. Taeyong frowns but feels a comforting hand on his shoulder, he sits back down with Johnny. 

“He always leaves the second a meeting is over,” Johnny calmly states. He’s stacking all his papers and neatly filing them away. 

“Why is that?” Taeyong wonders, but Johnny just shrugs. “It’s okay, I’ll get to talk with him during the photoshoot.” Taeyong’s grin returns as he thinks about his and Doyoung’s upcoming activities. He’s really happy they’re going to be doing something together, officially, in their schedules. A hand waves in front of his vision. 

“Hello Taeyong, nice to see you too.” Taeyong’s head snaps up at the voice, when had Jaehyun gotten here? His model friend slams some takeout on the table and joins them in the chairs. 

“Hey Jaehyun when did you enter?” Johnny laughs at Taeyong’s question, but Taeyong doesn’t know why. 

Jaehyun shakes his head, pulling out a couple containers of food, “I literally walked in here a minute ago but you were so lost in thought you didn’t notice.” Taeyong apologizes quickly and grabs some food.

“What were you thinking about Taeyong,” Johnny teases, but his tone tells Taeyong that Johnny already knows. Why are his friends like this.

“Just my upcoming schedule.” He pops open the food and sniffs the savory smell, satisfied with Jaehyuns choice of food today. 

Johnny continues, “Were you thinking about your upcoming photoshoot, or the man you’ll be taking the photos with.” Jaehyun laughs as he understands what’s going on, Taeyong doesn’t understand and pouts. 

“No. I mean yes obviously Doyoung is on my mind-”

“Wasn’t he already on your mind?” Comments like these makes Taeyong want to throw Jaehyun out a window, but he’s currently eating the food the man bought so that’s not an option. 

“Listen, I just think he’s cute. That’s it.”

“Just cute?” Johnny raises an eyebrow. Taeyong knows he’s in trouble. “The way you acted at the company party made it seem you find him more than cute. You’ve never attached to either of us like that before.”

Taeyong’s ears are swiftly heating up right now. “I don’t even remember most of what happened at that party so I don’t think that counts as evidence towards anything.”

“I don’t know,” Jaehyun says, “They say your true feelings and thoughts are exposed when a bit tipsy. And the way you clung onto Doyoung while sleeping in the car,” Jaehyun tsks at Taeyong who’s mouth drops.

“I what?” He shrieks. Taeyong can accept forcing Doyoung to take photos with him, that isn’t too crazy, but Jaehyun seems to have left out even more details, like falling asleep on the singer. 

“Wow Taeyong, you’d better just admit your crush on him right now before someone else notices,” Johnny pokes fun. Taeyong’s friends are having the time of their lives, giggling at their flustered friend. Taeyong on the other hand, is trying to hide and regretting every choice he’s made around Doyoung up to this point. 

“Fine, fine, whatever, I may like him a little, tiny, very small amount. But it’s just because he’s cute when frustrated and handsome when he’s being serious. And his laugh,” Taeyong can feel himself smiling again. “Uh, anyways. I want to get to know him more. It’s a small crush yeah but nothing serious.” He looks back over at his friends, calmed down enough to face them, but the two are staring at him. Disbelief has switched from Taeyong’s face to theirs and now his friends are the ones with wide open mouths. 

“I didn’t think you actually…” Jaehyun gasps. Taeyong’s panic sets in as he realizes, his friends were only joking around but he decided to confess all. 

“Pretend I didn’t say anything, guys it’s really not serious-” Johnny grasps Taeyong by his shoulders, cutting off his words. 

“This is good!” Johnny exclaims. “Our Taeyong finally has a new crush!”

Taeyong stutters, “W-what?”

“Taeyong this is good! We can tease you again! I thought a day like this would never come after you gave up on-” Jaehyun covers Johnny’s mouth before he can say the dancers name. Taeyong sighs and Johnny releases him while wrestling Jaehyun’s hand off his mouth. 

“You won’t get to tease me for long, this crush is the same as before. I like his looks and that’s about it, it’ll probably be gone within a few months like last time.” At least, Taeyong hopes it’ll be like his past crush on Ten, and his feelings for Doyoung will disappear within a short amount of time. Jaehyun and Johnny stop their fighting and turn their attention back to their friend. 

“Okay, if you say so. But remember to be careful, you don’t want to end up having an unrequited love,” Johnny is being serious with his words now. 

Taeyong takes a deep breath and nods, “You don’t have to worry about that happening. I’ve never fallen in love before.”

“You better not fall now. I don’t want to have to ban you from ice cream after finding you crying into three tubs just because he didn’t compliment your shirt or something,” Jaehyun jokes. Taeyong laughs, what is this guy even talking about. 

“Let’s just eat, I don’t want the food to get cold.” The other two agree and all three of them dig into their meals, moving on with the conversation and teasing each other about other aspects of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out Taeyong used to have a little crush on Ten, it's not that relevant tho. 
> 
> When Johnny and Jaehyun tease Taeyong >>>>>>
> 
> :) Love you guys, thanks for reading.


	9. Chapter 9

Why does he have the worst luck in the entire world, Doyoung questions while shoving the photoshoot schedule away once more. For the past few minutes he’s been taking it in and out, eyes scanning to detect any foolery. When he learned of his new required activity with the rapper, Doyoung almost cussed out loud. After the party he assured himself that any more encounters with Taeyong would be limited to passing each other in the hallways or during future company events. Now his schedule has Taeyong’s name written on it. 

He reaches down to pick up the paper again but a hand slaps it away. 

“I swear if you pick up that paper one more time I will put it through the shredding machine,” Jeno threatens, Doyoung rolls his eyes and sits back. “What’s wrong with doing a photoshoot with Taeyong? I know you aren’t a fan of his but you don’t hate him right?” Doyoung sighs, Jeno was right in that he doesn’t completely hate Taeyong but his discomfort with him isn’t something he can ignore. 

“I don’t hate him, but when I’m near him I just feel... uncomfortable. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Jeno raises an eyebrow, “Well that’s weird.”

“Hey, you’re my friend, you’re supposed to support me,” Doyoung pokes his shoulder. 

Jeno pokes him back, “I’m just saying that there isn’t much reason to dislike him, sure he interrupted a few of your practice sessions but I thought you got along at the company party. Give him a chance and I think you’d two make good friends.”

“I don’t think so,” Doyoung crosses his arms, “Our personalities are too opposite. I show up early to everything, he shows up almost late. My songs are mostly ballads, his are typically fast paced. He doesn’t watch his image, I make sure I’m alway presentable. We are not compatible.”

Jeno sighs, “One of these days you will learn how to make friends.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Doyoung, I hate to hit you with the truth but right now the only other people you hang out with or talk to are me and Jaemin. Anybody else you speak with is just for business reasons.”

“That’s not true…” Doyoung tries to defend himself, “I talk with my brother occasionally still, and I met that new singer Renjun. Also, Johnny and Jaehyun are cool. I’m acquaintances with them, Taeyong and I really just don’t mix.” His rambling does little to convince the younger than he does in fact have friends. Anyone in the company can plainly see Doyoung is somewhat of a loner, and most of the staff thinks he really doesn’t have any close friends since he mainly hangs out with Jeno and Jaemin outside of the SM building. It doesn’t matter to him though, it’s not anyone’s business who he does or doesn’t hang out with. 

“Whatever you say,” Jeno remarks. He shakes his head and sips on his drink, twirling the ice around inside the cup. The two are silent for a bit, there wouldn’t be any rest in the conversation had Jaemin been there but today he had something come up and couldn’t make it to lunch. Silence isn’t uncomfortable to Doyoung, it’s relaxing and calming knowing he can be around someone and they’re both fine without speaking every second. That is one of the main reasons he gets along so easily with Jeno, they both appreciate small moments of silence. 

They finish their meal and Doyoung pays, once again. He really needs to stop letting Jeno and Jaemin convince him every week to buy. It’s his fault for always caving in though, it is the only way he can think to repay them for staying friends with him. 

“I really do think it would be good for you to befriend Taeyong,” Jeno suddenly speaks. 

“I thought we were past this topic.”

Jeno looks over with serious eyes, “Please, at least find things to like about the guy so you’re no longer uncomfortable around him.” Seeing his expression makes Doyoung take a deep breath. He briefly closes his eyes in thought. 

“We will see.” 

Taeyong makes him feel things, that part is undeniable, but as to what he makes Doyoung feel, that part can be ignored as long as he stays far, far away from the pink haired boy. 

Doyoung sighs. “I’m done eating let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if yall want to follow my twitter where I sometimes tweet about my writing but mostly just scream about kpop and random things uhhh,,,, here it is: 
> 
> https://twitter.com/SmithEAdin
> 
> Short chapter sorry, but I might try and post two today.


	10. Chapter 10

Doyoung stares at himself in the mirror, he doesn’t dare look to the left where Taeyong sits getting his makeup touched up. They already finished their individual shots, now the “couple” photos would be taken accompanied along with a new outfit. 

The new clothes are a pair of button up shirts made of light cloth. Doyoung’s is light blue marbled design, while Taeyong’s is black and white marbled. After changing, Doyoung had watched Taeyong unbutton most of the top half of it, exposing way too much of his chest. Now, Doyoung’s avoiding turning his head and having to see the sight. 

“You ready?” Taeyong asks, Doyoung nods without glancing over and hops off his chair. He walks in front to keep from getting any view, he’ll have to face the artist’s exposed skin during the shoot but right now he wants to avoid looking as much as possible. He already wasn’t thrilled about doing a photoshoot with Taeyong and there is absolutely no reason as to why Taeyong should have his shirt that open, the dude needs to cover up.

The director points to where they should stand against the wood plank wall. Doyoung can no longer avoid seeing the pink haired boy, he really can’t help but survey him up and down once their bodies are facing one another. Taeyong’s face is still perfect, his features look even softer today due to the blush makeup applied. His chest is displayed shamelessly, it makes Doyoung hold his breath as the older steps closer. A bit of panic begins to whir inside Doyoung’s head, he can’t handle being this close to Lee Taeyong. The reasons being: his intense visuals and because of how much he annoys Doyoung. Who wouldn’t be screaming internally next to Taeyong though, everyone loves him. 

Despite his initial panic, Doyoung manages to stay professional the whole time as they wrap arms around one another or pose with their hands covering the other’s face. He wants to laugh at feeling Taeyong’s hands for the first time, they’d been so strong when dragging him at the party but in reality they are frail, like a grandma’s hands. 

They are given a small break while the photographer changes settings on the camera. Taeyong steps away for another touch up on his hair and Doyoung peers around, almost everyone within the studio has their eyes rested on Lee Taeyong and his perfect appearance. Doyoung scoffs, he doesn’t care that they aren’t all looking at him, he doesn’t care about the attention, but something about all of them staring specifically at Taeyong makes his blood boil. It must be because of the number of buttons he has loosened, Doyoung clenches his teeth. What would happen if he acts like Taeyong? 

Doyoung first asks the director if it’s okay and receives an enthusiastic double thumbs up before carefully unbuttoning three from the top. He smirks while walking back into position, the look on Taeyong’s face being quite funny to Doyoung. It screams “Did he really just do that” but in a panicked and confused way. This isn’t an unusual action during photoshoots so the fact Taeyong reacts like that has Doyoung snickering in the moments before returning back to his serious mode. 

Another hour of shots takes place, and with every snap of the camera Taeyong gets bolder. He inches closer to Doyoung’s face, their foreheads almost touching. If the director wasn’t shouting how much he liked it, Doyoung would have pushed Taeyong away in an instance. They move locations several times as well, once to a couch where Doyoung sits and Taeyong stands behind or lays on the edge, then outside for scenery with some plants. As the shoot finishes and they thank the staff, Taeyong turns while closing up his shirt, finally. 

“Good work Doyoung,” Taeyong laughs a little and smiles, “Don’t tell Jaehyun this, he might get jealous, but you’re really such a natural model.”

“Thank you.” Doyoung looks away. “I think you suit this kind of thing well honestly,” he adds. Taeyong sounds his weird breathy laugh again and thanks Doyoung, the two then exit the photo studio and walk down to where their interview will take place. Arriving in the room, Doyoung lets Taeyong choose his seat first, then makes sure to take a place that's several inches away. Not too close, but not too far. 

As the questions roll by on a screen for the two to answer, Doyoung discovers he and Taeyong aren’t completely opposite. Both of their hero’s are their older siblings, they both prefer sweets, and seem to have similar ambitions. Those are only a few similarities though, not enough to convince Doyoung they are compatible enough to be friends. The older even laughs at his answer of what sport he used to do in high school, track and field. Apparently Taeyong tried it but it wasn’t a match, which surprises Doyoung because the rapper seems to be good at everything. Taeyong’s voice encircles the room as he softly speaks, explaining the meaning behind his upcoming album. Doyoung listens intently, he gets lost in the boy’s slight nods after every statement and his glistening lips pronouncing every word plainly. Swallowing as Taeyong looks over, Doyoung snaps his gaze away from the older and reads the next question instantly. Curse Taeyong for distracting him, why is this guy so captivating. So annoying. 

The questions on the screen eventually end and they thank the staff once more for all their hard work before strolling back to the makeup room. Accessories are returned and cosmetics wiped off. One of the directors approaches the two boys in their seats and holds up a few shots for them to preview. Taeyong huddles closely next to Doyoung in order to see better, and even though they were like this during the photoshoot Doyoung still holds his breath. 

“These are excellent, you two really do compliment each other well,” the director compliments. They thank him for his flattery, Taeyong becoming shy at the words. “Are you doing a musical collaboration together as well?”

“No.” Doyoung answers plainly, a little too quickly. Taeyong frowns across from him. 

“We aren’t,” Taeyong says more politely, “But in the future I would want to do that.” He smiles over at the younger, genuine in his statement.

Doyoung looks back up at the director and the photos, he allows himself to fake laugh a little, “We’ll see. It might not be able to happen for a while because of our schedules.” The director nods and thanks them both again for their hard work, then scurries away to take care of other things. Doyoung stands, ready to leave but a hand grasps his shoulder and pulls him back. Of course the frail hand belongs to Lee Taeyong. 

“Since the shooting is over, why don’t we go grab some food to celebrate?”

Doyoung forces a smile in his answer, “It’s okay, that’s not necessary.” He is not about to eat out with Lee Taeyong, this guy is the last person on earth he wants to go out and eat with. 

Taeyong tilts his head, “Obviously it’s not required but it’ll be nice, and I can pay for everything if you want.”

Doyoung shakes his head and continues walking, answering while the older follows him into the hallway, “We’re just coworkers for today, there’s no reason we’d eat together to celebrate unless we were close friends.” He smirks, thinking he’s successfully dodged this bullet. 

Taeyong takes one large stride and arrives in front of Doyoung, blocking his path with his body. He stares directly into his eyes, sincerely speaking his next words. 

“But we could be friends.”

Doyoung stops, not just walking and breathing, but thinking. He doesn’t have a response for the way Taeyong is staring at him right now. Doyoung can only slowly nod, afraid to refuse. 

The connection is broken as Taeyong happily presses his hands together and wraps an arm around Doyoung. He leads him out of the building, chattering the entire way about the best places to grab food from. Doyoung suddenly feels like he’s in deep trouble, like being around Taeyong will cause some kind of danger for them both. He hopes that feeling won’t come to pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing reading! Things are about to happen 0-0. Also comments are always appreciated! <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sejeong can't show up so Doyoung has to practice alone..... :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this one you need to know that a "+++" means the 3rd pov is switching who it's following. (Ex. Doyoung -> Taeyong or vice versa)
> 
> Also, I am sorry but you will not get to see the outing of them eating together... 0-0

Sejeong still hasn’t shown up five minutes before their practice is supposed to start. Doyoung impatiently taps his foot and checks his phone once more, hoping for a message. The second he flips is open it dings, finally receiving a notification from her. Doyoung reads it then sends a response, his anger dissipated by her explanation. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Kim Sejeong**

I’m so sorry Doyoung, something came up regarding another one of my works and I won’t be able to practice with you today. I know this message is a bit late but it was sudden notice, we’re solid on the song and most of the choreography though so I’m not worried! Keep working hard!

**Kim Doyoung**

Thank you for messaging, and don’t worry about practice. Take care of what you need to. 

Have a nice day :)

**Kim Sejeong**

Thanks for understanding! Have a good day too!

_________________________________________________________________________

Doyoung groans as he flops down on the floor. It’s fine that Sejeong can’t make it, he’s not mad at her since it’s not her fault. He just wishes he doesn’t have to spend the day practicing the choreography alone. Their vocals are both fine, as singers they’d both mastered the song quickly, as dancers though, the dance still needs a bit more work. It’s only for the music video, but since it will be featured as a part of SM’s special “track station” project, it needs to be perfect. 

He stretches first, delaying the start of his run through, then watches the video a couple times just to make sure all the moves are memorized. Once it ends for the fourth time, Doyoung sighs and picks himself up, he connects the audio player to his phone and presses play. 

+++

Taeyong originally planned to just grab a few papers he left behind in his studio, but the second he hears that song playing somehow he knows he’ll be staying. He tries to stop himself from peering through the window again but curiosity beats his self control. He’s already feeling the dread of seeing his newest friend spending time with someone else but that stops when he looks through the window. Taeyong is met with the sight of Doyoung practicing alone, Sejeong is nowhere in sight. He does a double take, the song playing is Doyoung and Sejeong’s duet, and Doyoung is practicing the partner choreography right now, but he’s alone. 

Taeyong doesn’t process what he’s doing before he steps into the studio, scaring the younger boy and making him jump like the last time he interrupted a practice. 

“Sorry,” Taeyong instantly apologizes. What is he even doing right now? Could his brain work before his limbs please. Doyoung briskly walks over and pauses the music. 

“Taeyong, what are you doing here?” There’s a slight annoyance in Doyoung’s voice, but it doesn’t bother Taeyong. If someone walked in on his practice, for the seconds time mind you, Taeyong would probably be annoyed to. 

“Sorry for interrupting your practice, again. I’ll knock next time,” Taeyong tries to laugh a little, embarrassed by his impulsiveness. Doyoung doesn’t say anything and continues staring, waiting for an explanation. 

“And you’re here because?”

“Right, I just came to grab some papers but I noticed you practicing alone, is Sejeong not here today?”

Doyoung nods and moves a few strands of hair out of his face. “Yes, she had something else to do so it’s just me practicing today.”

“I see,” Taeyong coos. He suddenly goes silent, thinking of something. He gets an idea, but is it a good one? “I can help you with the partner section if you want.”

“It’s okay, I’ve already learned it all.” Doyoung shrugs and starts to turn away. 

Taeyong bites his lip. “I meant that I could do Sejeong’s part.”

“Oh.” 

The younger one stops, staring blankly at Taeyong. Taeyong wants to know what he’s thinking behind those warm brown eyes and tiny pout he often has. A few seconds pass without any response and Taeyong wishes to disappear and forget about this moment, why is he always a mess around Kim Doyoung. 

+++

Doyoung has no response. He wasn’t expecting Taeyong to ask if he could dance in place of Sejeong, he assumed he’d evaluate his dancing again like he always does and then leave. That was what Doyoung prepared for when he walked in, not this. 

Taeyong quietly laughs through the awkward silence. “I’ll let you get back to practice then-”

“Uh wait,” Doyoung's hesitant voice stops Taeyong. He’s been thinking the past few minutes and if he wants to improve while Sejeong is gone, this is a good chance. Her advice had been to use what he needs to get ahead, and while he never uses people for his own gain, Taeyong is offering to help so it’s different. Plus, after their eating out together Doyoung feels a bit more comfortable around Taeyong. Even if the guy does make him want to pull his hair out sometimes. “That might actually help. I can do everything by myself but when Sejeong and I do it together there’s a few parts where we struggle…”

Taeyong shyly nods and puts his bag down in the corner. Why the hell is Taeyong the one being silent now, he’s supposed to be the outgoing one always trampling everywhere. As Taeyong walks back over, Doyoung realizes he’s going to have to be the one leading in the dance. 

Doyoung actually laughs a little, “Taeyong do you even know any of Sejeong’s choreography?”

“Well…” Taeyong hides behind his hands, “I’m so sorry I thought I could be helpful but I don’t even know if I remember it all.” Doyoung scoffs at the panicking pink haired mess and grabs his tablet. 

Doyoung speaks, “It’s okay, I’ll let you watch it a few times while I practice a bit more and then we can do it together. You seem to grasp most dances pretty quickly, right?” Taeyong thanks him and shuffles off into a corner, his ears red. Doyoung thinks this is the only time he’s enjoying Taeyong being around, he’s the one in control of the situation and Taeyong is a flustered mess. Doyoung laughs to himself while he practices, waiting for Taeyong to be ready. 

The older plays the video a total of three times before handing the tablet back to Doyoung and claiming he’s ready. Doyoung raises his eyebrow, there’s no way he only needed to watch it three times. 

“Are you sure you have it down?”

“Mostly, you lead a lot of the movements anyways so it’s just for the moments when the choreo intertwines,” Taeyong shrugs and holds his hand out. 

“Okay.” Doyoung reaches for the hand, pulling Taeyong into position then pressing a button to start the music. Their photoshoot the day before helps Doyoung to be more calm when they’re closer, of course he’s never going to enjoy it since he doesn’t like Taeyong but at least now it is bearable. Taeyong does well keeping up, he misses some steps which Doyoung smiles at, but he never causes Doyoung to step out of time. The moves he’d struggled on with Sejeong come easy now as they circle around one another, Doyoung stands behind Taeyong while they both look back then pushed away from one another at the climax of the song.

Doyoung stops and rewinds the music when needed to retry certain steps, so far they haven’t even reached the ending yet, but Doyoung doesn’t mind. He just uses this time to improve and be able to boss around Taeyong for once. 

The last chord of the song rings and Doyoung doesn’t think twice as he pulls Taeyong into his chest, their eyes meeting instantly with two centimeters of space between their faces. They’re both breathing heavily, the atmosphere whirling around their stopped frames as it ends. For a few seconds Doyoung is lost. He’s far from the studio, floating away in the endless pool of infinity collected in Taeyong’s dark brown eyes that glisten somehow even with no sun to shine on them. The track has long ended but neither move. 

Taeyong breaks off first, turning away. Doyoung recoils back, a heat rising in his face, he quickly grabs for some water and chugs it down. 

“Good-”

“Thank-”

They both start their sentences at the same time and awkwardly laugh, each offering for the other to speak first. 

“Thank you for your help,” Doyoung acknowledges authentically. 

Taeyong shoves some of his loose hair back behind his reddened ears, “It was no problem. I’m glad I could help.” They don’t say anything following this, Doyoung gulps down more of his water. Finally Taeyong speaks again to stop the silence, “I should probably grab my papers and let you finish your practice…” Doyoung nods, his eyes follow Taeyong as the boy slowly crosses the room. Before he steps out of the studio though, Taeyong turns and sends a smile along with a peace sign to Doyoung, then he shuts the door behind him. Doyoung stays frozen, that innocent smile keeping him still. When he finally moves again, Doyoung belly flops onto the couch and immediately grabs the nearest pillow, screaming into it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Better than seeing them eating a meal together or did I rob you? teehee


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short but the two chapters I am posting today go hand in hand :)

Doyoung knows the air conditioning in the room is working just fine, in fact it’s always over powering, but he still checks the thermostat. For some reason he feels like the room is cooking him alive. 

He groans and sits on the floor, laying back so the coolness of the ground can envelop him. Thousands of thoughts are racing through his head right now, and he does not like that all are about Lee Taeyong. From simply meeting in the studio, to dragging drunk Taeyong home, doing a photoshoot together, eating a meal, and now even practicing an entire couple dance. When had Doyoung’s life begun to involve Taeyong?

Doyoung doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like Taeyong, he’s never been fond of the boy. Always parading around having everyone fall at his feet. Everyone knows Taeyong has one of the most intense gazes, enough to stir emotions in anyone, so that’s all this was. Just an effect from his aura that is messing with Doyoung’s head. 

Grabbing his phone, Doyoung tries to distract himself. He checks a couple things, sends Jeno and Jaemin a couple texts asking if they can go out shopping later, then pulls up the choreography video. He watches it alone, sprawled out on the practice room floor, but as the partner dance section approaches he can’t help but re-live he and Taeyong’s rendition. That ending moment, when they were too close and everything disappeared except the face of the pink haired boy in front of him. 

Doyoung shoots up and viciously shakes his head. He doesn’t want to be remembering this, it was just a dance practice. That was the last move, he wasn’t going to skip it so why is the image still flashing in his head. 

“Stupid Doyoung…” He starts to say out loud, but he pauses and rethinks. 

Doyoung hates what Taeyong is doing to him, but none of this is Doyoung’s fault. Ever since the beginning it was always Taeyong, Taeyong was the one who interrupted his practice, Taeyong was the one who got drunk and wanted to take photos, and this time it was Taeyong who stared back at him like that. Doyoung was just doing what he needed to for his job each time. 

“Stupid Taeyong.” 

That’s right. This boiling and fluttering inside of him is caused by no one other than Lee Taeyong. If his reasons for disliking the boy weren’t justifiable before they sure as hell are now. 

“I hate you Lee Taeyong.” Doyoung chokes the words out, they burn his tongue but at least some of the tension is released. He smiles, satisfied to have figured out his feelings. Doyoung knows he will sleep well tonight.


	13. Chapter 13

The lights of Taeyong’s Nintendo Switch screen light up with the bright colors of animal crossing. He happily imitates the sounds of the villagers and his jumping character while running around his four star island. 

Today was a good day, a great day, and Taeyong had continued to smile stupidly wide throughout the rest of the day. Johnny commented on it a couple times but Taeyong responded that he was simply happier than usual. 

Of course the real reason behind his excitement is a certain invigorating event. He danced with Doyoung. The Kim Doyoung who is cute as a bunny, charismatic, mysterious, hard working, and the Kim Doyoung with gentle looks that make Taeyong melt whenever he sees the boy. That last moment, when they looked at one another, really found each other in their gaze, is still making Taeyong’s heart flutter and his whole body tingle with delight. His heart is actually pounding so fast, it almost hurts. 

At first he only wanted to befriend Doyoung, the singer is always alone in the studio and company cafeteria. Taeyong never sees him hanging out with anyone else or talking to anybody besides the managers or staff. He had actually admired him for a while, and wanted to approach the singer but Taeyong is quite shy in reality and never made any moves. It felt like fate the first time when Doyoung burst into the practice room late at night and didn’t notice Taeyong. He remembers laughing for quite a while, distracted from work while the younger began to dance. A bit of panic was mixed in with the happiness as he realized the other really had no clue he was there, but Taeyong found an excuse to speak up when he noticed a couple mistakes on Doyoung’s dance moves. That night was fun, Doyoung’s adorable frustration made Taeyong laugh and upclose he was cuter than Taeyong anticipated. Taeyong was sad having to leave so soon, but when he spotted Doyoung practicing again a few days later, his limbs worked before his brain could, just like today. 

The party was the only regret of Taeyong’s, he’s afraid he might have embarrassed Doyoung that night more so than himself. Taeyong really shouldn’t have drank that much but having Doyoung seated next to him made him really nervous for some reason, which resulted in his drunkenness. He doesn’t remember much from then, but the shakiness in his hands and constant blushing while being beside the singer he does recall perfectly. 

Taeyong realizes it’s more than finding Doyoung cute, it’s more than just appreciating his looks or talent. There’s something about him that intrigues Taeyong and pulls him in. Taeyong is sure there’s so much underneath his persona, there must be reasons he’s always licking his lips, double checking his appearance, speaking formally to everyone. Taeyong wants to know all the sides of Doyoung, he wants to spend time with him. He wants to protect him from whatever toils he may be going through. Taeyong wants to be with Doyoung. 

He wishes Doyoung wants to be with him too. 

Taeyong kicks his feet and wiggles in happiness as he clicks shuffle on a playlist of Doyoung’s songs. The boy’s sweet voice soothes Taeyong and he closes his eyes, turning down the sound of his animal crossing to listen better. The light melody and raw tone, Taeyong takes several deep breaths. He wonders what his next encounter with Doyoung will be like. 

In the middle of another deep breath, Taeyong’s throat catches. A tickle starts in his chest, then climbs up into his throat, the tickle turns into a sharp pain near his heart. Taeyong drops his switch and grips near the source, he starts to dryly cough. The tickle in his throat moves up and up with every hack, the aching in his chest tightening, squeezing his heart and lungs in a tight grip. His hands move to cover his mouth as he struggles to breath properly. 

The tingling stops, and so do his coughs, as Taeyong senses something soft held in his hand, he holds it out and stares down.

There, pressed into the palm of his hand is a singular red rose petal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) 
> 
> And so it begins.


	14. Chapter 14

Taeyong doesn’t move. 

The single rose petal peering up at him doesn’t move either. A few small coughs escape from Taeyong’s mouth, with each one comes a tightening in his chest. It’s different from a usual cough. 

It takes Taeyong fifteen minutes before his eyes widen in realization. This can’t be right, he just has a small crush on Doyoung. There’s no way...

Hanahaki.

A disease in which the affected victim develops a one-sided love which manifests as flowers that grow inside the lungs. The one who’s fallen in love will then cough up the flowers, and if the love is not reciprocated then the hanahaki will progress till it becomes overgrown inside the lungs and suffocates the victim. 

There’s three options. 

One, the love is reciprocated and the hanahaki goes away resulting in life. 

Two, the lover gets the plants removed surgically, but in doing so their love disappears and their memories of that person are removed as well. The result is a painful living, often without ever loving again. 

Three, the victim does not have their love reciprocated, the hanahaki slowly takes over until it suffocates them and they die. 

Taeyong carefully sets the petal aside on his laptop and reaches for the mouse. He clicks open a browser and types away until a page displaying the information on hanahaki disease appears. Taeyong reads through the whole thing several times, then makes the mistake of scrolling through countless comments where people share in detail their own experiences with the disease. Some end happy, with the original poster commenting a few months later saying their love was reciprocated and they recovered fully. Most though are void of any hope. Taeyong stops at one comment. The poster writes how they’re too afraid to tell the one they love about their hanahaki, worrying it would push the other into developing false feelings. They didn’t want them to end up feeling guilty and responsible for causing the suffering either. They detail how they can’t bring themself to receive surgery because even though they aren’t loved back, the love is the most beautiful thing to happen in their life. 

He quickly clicks to see the replies, praying there is another from the original poster. There isn’t, instead the top reply is a single line. 

“I caused this pain in you and I realized my feelings too late. Why couldn’t you have told me, I might have been able to save you. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

Taeyong doesn’t blink. He stares at the bright screen which burns his eyes in the dark room until tears form and begin to slowly fall down. Taeyong sits, sobbing for a few minutes. A hurricane of emotions spinning around in his head, but there is no eye in this storm, there is no calm. It only grows as he glances down again at the rose petal. He has hanahaki, he really has hanahaki. This isn’t a dream or a hallucination from over exhaustion. Taeyong really did cough up a rose petal, and right now there are probably more inside his lungs, slowly growing and waiting to choke the life out of him. 

He gasps for breath, climbing over to his bed and squeezing his chest against a dog plushie. Today had been so good how could it turn out like this. 

Taeyong let’s himself freak out, he let’s himself sob hysterically for an hour. He releases the emotions outpouring from his heart, ones of dread, fear, confusion, disbelief, and love. In the end, he does not blame anyone for this situation but himself for falling too hard, too fast. Doyoung is not at fault. 

Kim Doyoung. The man Taeyong apparently loves one-sidedly. Even though Taeyong is the one hurting right now and his lungs are aching from their new inhabitants, all he can think about is protecting Doyoung. 

Doyoung should never find out about his hanahaki, Taeyong doesn’t want him to blame himself or feel pressured to try and save him. Taeyong hates the idea of someone forcing themself to fall in love just because someone is depending on them. The feelings wouldn’t be genuine, if there is any small possibility of Kim Doyoung developing love for Taeyong, he wants it to be natural. He wants it to happen on Doyoung's time, not his. 

Taeyong covers his face, puffy and red from crying. He feels almost completely hopeless, just like the comments he read. Taeyong doesn’t even know if Doyoung likes boys. 

He lays back on his bed for a while, listening to the buzz of silence. Eventually Taeyong props himself up, a bit dizzy from the heavy crying and prepares a shower. The whole time the water runs down his back he is silent, thinking, resting. His hand caresses where his lungs are, he knows he can’t tell anyone else about the hanahaki. He’s scared it will be exaggerated and negatively impact Doyoung then. Besides, Taeyong’s mini album is releasing soon, his fans need him. They’ve always been there for him even when they didn’t know he was hurting, so has his family, and Johnny and Jaehyun. Their love can carry him for a while. 

His thoughts keep returning to Doyoung though, about what he should do. As he rubs the towel through his hair, Taeyong decides to keep with his original plan of simply befriending Doyoung. Doyoung is still the same, and so is their relationship. The flowers in Taeyong's chest change nothing except the fact that he’s part plant now. He still wants to make the boy happy and less lonely, hear his laugh and see him working hard for what he wants. Friendship comes before anything else. 

As for his hanahaki, he’ll decide what to do about it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to get blood drawn today and two shots so if I post like... 5 chapters today, just know it's bc im trying to cheer myself up ;-;


	15. Chapter 15

“It’s not too tight.” Doyoung gives a thumb to the designer who nods up at him. He’s told to stay still while she dashes out to grab some accessories. The filming for he and Sejeong's music video is happening today, right now their outfits are being checked for any last fitting changes. While he waits for the designer to return, Doyoung observes around the room at the plethora of clothes hanging in rows. There must be enough outfits to wear a different top and bottom everyday for two years straight, even more maybe. A shuffling sound comes from behind Doyoung and he turns, expecting to be met with his designer. Instead he bites his lip as a manager enters with Taeyong following behind. 

Taeyong looks just as shocked to see him. “Oh Doyoung, what are you doing here?”

“Getting fitted,” Doyoung states. He could feel that bubbling in his stomach again, rage at the sight of bubblegum hair boy. “What are you doing here?” He asks coldly. 

“I came to grab a couple items for my shooting as well.”

“Ah.” Doyoung doesn’t say much more, what does he have to say to Taeyong. He now officially hates the guy, but he isn’t quite sure how hating someone works. Doyoung let’s his eyes fall down to trace the entirety of Taeyong and then lifts back up to his face. Today Taeyong’s outfit is simple again, some comfortable sweats covered in doodles, a sweatshirt loosely fitting his form. Compared to his usual glow though, Taeyong looks a bit more tired and worn out. A few more strands of hair are out of place than normal, and slight circles are present under Taeyong’s eyes. He must have not put on any makeup yet because the circles would’ve been concealed had he applied foundation, his scar is also a bit easier to see.

Taeyong smiles over at Doyoung which makes the bubbles inside him leap around like crazy. How can he walk in here like that and just… do this to Doyoung? He’s crazy if he thinks he’ll get away with doing this for too long. 

“You’re filming the music video today?” Taeyong questions. Doyoung nods, releasing his eyebrows from their slightly inward position. He unclenches his fists as well which are controlling his inside rage. 

“Yes.” It’s strange. Doyoung hates him, his very presence upsets him, but then whenever Taeyong speaks it’s calming. It’s just another of Taeyong’s spells that he uses to make people fall at his feet before kicking them away. 

Waiting for the designer and manager to return feels like eternity. Taeyong swings his head around the room, drifting his hands over various objects. While he wanders around, Doyoung watches closely observing his stature. Taeyong is definitely a bit more slumped over than usual, but it’s his upper half that leans inward. He really must’ve missed sleep because Doyoung can’t think of any other time he’s seen the performer with bad posture. The pink in his hair is pastel now, having faded from it’s original bright color. Doyoung wonders if Taeyong will dye it again, he was always grabbing attention with his coordinated looks so once one color is gone a new one will replace it. 

The manager reenters holding up several pieces of clothing and hands them to Taeyong, ushering him towards the door. 

“Good luck filming!” He quickly shouts before leaving the costume room, that same smile still plastered on his face. Doyoung doesn’t give any response, Taeyong is out of the room before he can say anything, he doesn’t want to talk to him anyways. Doyoung still needs some time to decide how to act around Taeyong now that he’s decided he hates him. Hating someone is a very serious thing and it shouldn’t be taken too lightly, if Doyoung doesn’t calculate his moves now, he might accidentally explode at the guy and reveal his feelings. 

That won’t happen though, Doyoung promises. He’s cool and collected. Maybe a little bit competitive but never unkempt, so as long as he keeps himself under control when Taeyong makes his brain go fuzzy and his insides twirl, this will be fun. 

The outfit designer returns with a handful of accessories and pushes them to Doyoung. He smirks to himself as he sorts through and puts several on. The outfit is completed and checked once more before Doyoung heads out and spends the rest of the day shooting the music video and dancing with Sejeong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters have been so short lately im sorry ToT
> 
> N e ways, here's another one for today :)


	16. Chapter 16

Taeyong has his own shooting to do today which always leaves him tired, but the new development in his lungs only makes him more exhausted. It’s been a few days since he last ran into Doyoung at the costume shop, but he sadly hasn’t seen him since then.

He flops down on his bed, burying his face in the pillow. His chest feels heavier these days, and occasionally causes breathing problems, but since that first day Taeyong has not coughed up a single other flower petal. At this point he’s beginning to wonder if he really does have Hanahaki or if it was all a fever dream. Taeyong still thinks it’s impossible, hanahaki isn’t extremely common, and his feelings for Doyoung are just a little crush, nothing serious. 

An incoming message dings on his phone, the screen lights up with an invitation in his friends group chat. Taeyong sits up and reads through, Jaehyun’s asking if they want to hang out since he has nothing in the morning. Every part of Taeyong wants to go, the healing he needs comes from his friends, but right now he can barely even keep his eyes open. If he went out to drink, he might either get hurt or blab about Doyoung. Sharing mostly everything with Johnny and Jaehyun since the beginning, Taeyong starts to lie for the first time. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Jaehyun** 🍑

I got tonight off and tomorrow morning, who wants to go drinking!! Taeyong will be limited on his alcohol consumption, you still owe me for the company party -.-

**Chicago Boy Johnny**

I’m down

Let’s not go too hard though, I have work tomorrow with the weakling

**TY Track**

You guys go have fun, I’m exhausted from filming today -o-

**Jaehyun** 🍑

WHAT?! Are you sure?

**TY Track**

I’m seriously tired out, sorry but not tonight for me

**Chicago Boy Johnny**

Are you feeling okay Taeyong?

**TY Track**

Yea haha, really I’m just sleepy. A solo artist’s life is busy, I have work tomorrow anyways so It won’t be good if I come in with a splitting headache and shades on.

**Chicago Boy Johnny**

Okay. Rest well

**Jaehyun** 🍑

Suit yourself.

Johnny we can still have fun >:)

_________________________________________________________________________

The truth is Taeyong is actually really tired. So it’s not all lies, but he still feels bad about ditching his friends. Right now he really needs them, even though he can’t and won’t tell them that. Knowing his friends, if they ever found out about his hanahaki and that Doyoung is the one Taeyong has it for, they would march right over and force Doyoung on his knees to confess just to save him. Heartwarming to know, but he is not trying to protect himself right now, Doyoung needs protection too and Tayong knows no one else to do that except himself. 

Maybe they will at least know a little more about hanahaki, coming from different places Johnny or Jaehyun might have learned other facts about the disease from their hometowns. Taeyong opens the chat again and types away. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**TY Track**

What do guys know about hanahaki?

**Jaehyun** 🍑

Uhhh, why the sudden ask?

WAIT

Taeyong do you have hanahaki???

**TY Track**

NO

I’m just curious

**Chicago Boy Johnny**

That’s a weird question to be asking

TAEYONG BE HONEST PLEASE SO WE ARENT WORRIED

**TY Track**

NO NO I DONT

IT WAS JUST A RANDOM THOUGHT OKAY

Cause like, idk it’s kinda mysterious

**Jaehyun** 🍑

Hanahaki’s the flower disease right? Where some kind of plant grows in your lungs?

**Chicago Boy Johnny**

Yes. A person can get it after developing a one-sided love, then is disappears once the love is reciprocated

But they can also die if they aren’t loved back (or never tell the person)

**Jaehyun** 🍑

Damn, that’s some drama type stuff right there

**TY Track**

Right

**Chicago Boy Johnny**

OH! And i think there’s a procedure you can get to remove the flowers, but then the love goes away too. Some people say memories disappear too but a couple have gone without losing them

**Jaehyun** 🍑

Brutal. 

I’m glad it’s super rare though

**TY Track**

Why do you think people do in those kinds of situations?

**Chicago Boy Johnny**

I’ve heard a couple stories and usually the people let the person they like know pretty quickly within the first stage (there’s stages of the disease)

If they’re rejected, then they get it removed or wait until it gets to the fourth stage and then… yeah

But most articles I’ve read have happy endings

It’s real though, and actually not super rare. A lot of people suffer from it :(

**TY Track**

One of my sister’s friends had gotten it a few years ago, and a couple times I witnessed her coughing up some petals. It looked really painful :(

Thankfully the guy she liked responded pretty quickly after finding out and now they’re married.

My sister was really worried then. She cried a lot after finding out and wanted to tell the guy to save her friend, but her friend stopped her. She didn’t want to force him. 

**Jaehyun** 🍑

I’m glad that all worked out

But personally if either of you ever got Hanahaki I won’t care if you tried to stop me and wanted to wait for the other person to realize. 

I will be holding a knife to whoever’s throat 🔪

**TY Track**

Shdjfksdfh

**Chicago Boy Johnny**

Calm down thats never gonna happen lol

But same tho 🔪

_________________________________________________________________________

Taeyong loves his friends, but this is exactly why he knows he can’t tell them. They’d be all over Doyoung the second they find out. 

The story he told about his sister’s friend is true too. Back in his last year of high school, someone in his sister’s friend group got hanahaki. Taeyong specifically remembers returning home after dance practice and finding his sister curled up on the ground, sobbing. He was so scared, he didn’t know what was happening but once his sister was able to sit up and explain, Taeyong understood. That was his first encounter with hanahaki. Whenever his sister cried about the pain her friend was going through and the anger she felt at not being able to talk to the guy, Taeyong wanted to side with her but inside he felt partial to the friend. You cannot, and should not, make anyone feel like they have to fall in love with you. It doesn’t matter what’s on the line, that’s not your call to make. 

Another notification sounds on his phone, but it’s not a text. It’s an alert showing that the SM youtube channel has posted a new video. A short hot flash runs through Taeyong’s body as he opens it to a thumbnail with Doyoung and Sejeong staring at one another. Their performance video for the duet starts playing, the music slowly fading in while shots of the two dancing and telling a story of lovers is shown. Taeyong watches the whole thing, leaves a like, then shuts his phone and stares at the ceiling. He tries to quiet his mind. The burning in his lungs creeps up with the slight jealousy plaguing him. Taeyong has a clue as to what’s coming, he doesn’t try to suppress it.

First his breaths become uneven, until a tickle moves into his throat and it becomes painful hacking. His coughs aren’t too forceful, but they’re dry and still hurt his entire upper register. Doubling over, Taeyong gasps for breath desperately until a petal floats down in front of him. He rubs his neck where the painful tingling took place and sits back. There’s no denying it now, he really has hanahaki. The smallest hope inside him of it not being true fades, but it is replaced with another optimism. This pain isn’t too bad, and Taeyong is sure if he tries hard enough he can suppress the coughs until he’s away from others. All he has to do is try and get closer to Doyoung. Taeyong can do this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow look another one today! :D 
> 
> I hope it hasn't gotten too boring... ;-;


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A
> 
> ....
> 
> just means like, a passing of time. It is not the same as a +++ which is when the 3rd pov switches from one to the other.

The lounge has better air conditioning than the practice rooms, which is currently broken again, that’s the only reason Doyoung sits there now. He doesn’t like relaxing in open spaces, there’s more chances for running into someone he doesn’t want to talk to. Right now there is a specific person Doyoung thinks of but he hasn’t seen him around much since his mini album was released. Life is simpler, less complicated in the short time since having not seen Taeyong. Doyoung and Sejeong’s duet and music video was posted, it did pretty well. Taeyong’s own music coming out meant he was in the SM building less, and Doyoung does not have to worry about running into him as often.

Doyoung happily sighs and lays his head back against the chair. He takes in a deep breath and enjoys the silence. A buzz around the air creates a comforting atmosphere and soon he’s drifting off. 

“Hey, Doyoung.” Doyoung scrunches his nose, who dares interrupt his rest. He ignores the voice, still keeping his eyes closed and head back. “Bunny Prince!” That makes Doyoung lift his head up. He knows that nickname, and now he realizes he knows that voice too. Doyoung groans into his hands, pretending like it’s just him rubbing the sleepiness out. He grabs his glasses frames previously placed on the table in front and turns back, pushing them onto his face.

Taeyong plops down into the seat next to him with freshly dyed platinum blond hair, smiling as always. Doyoung wants to wipe that smile off his face, it always makes his insides turn, in disgust he presumes. 

“I didn’t know you wore glasses?”

“They’re fake,” Doyoung states. He pokes his fingers through the empty frames. 

“You look cute with them.” Every part of Doyoung freezes. Stop doing this Lee Taeyong, stop using your powers for evil.

“T-thanks,” he stutters. Doyoung moves his head away and keeps his eyes on the table. Taeyong shifts closer in the seat next to him.

“Okay, I was thinking. We’ve both just had songs come out so why don’t we go out, to congratulate one another, celebrate our achievements. Like we did after the photoshoot that time,” Taeyong speaks in such an uplifted tone. Doyoung forces a smile and looks up. 

“My release was one duet, it’s not as much to celebrate. Your album is a bigger thing, so it’s not right to compare mine to yours.”

“Nonsense,” Taeyong places a hand on Doyoung’s shoulder. Doyoung’s not quite sure if what he's feeling makes him want to die or makes him want to kill Taeyong instead. “We both worked hard, that’s all that matters. Just a few drinks from starbucks or something?” 

Doyoung glances down at the hand placed on his shoulder and takes a deep breath. Maybe he’ll let Taeyong indulge himself this once, it’s like the boy is chasing after him or something. Besides, what is the fun of hating someone if you don’t mess with them a little?

“Alright. But I know a small cafe that’s away from the public, so we aren’t spotted,” Doyoung says. Taeyong bounces in his seat, finally taking contact off of Doyoung’s shoulder. He stands and offers down his hand. Doyoung ponders for a few seconds, before grasping it and letting himself be pulled upwards. Traveling through the building gives Doyoung time to think about how to bother Taeyong, in the end he decides to wing it once they get to the cafe. 

…

The private section of Doyoung’s favorite cafe creates quite the atmosphere for him and Taeyong to be placed in. No one around to see or hear, Doyoung can basically say whatever he wants to the poor guy, oblivious to his plans. For some reason though, his hands are shaking a bit and as Taeyong pulls his chair closer while sitting down, Doyoung only gets more jumpy. 

Taeyong coughs into his elbow a few times then laughs a little. “What are you going to get?” He asks. 

Doyoung shrugs, “Tea probably, it’s what I always get.”

“You don’t drink coffee?” Taeyong tilts his head and pouts with his lips. Doyoung turns to his menu, that little pout is dangerous. 

“I don’t like it, it’s too bitter,” he keeps his head down. There goes all of his confidence. Not too long ago he was so ready to hate the man endlessly but their interactions right now weren’t as infuriating as he remembered. Doyoung curses himself for going back and forth, he needs to make a decision on how he feels. 

Taeyong nods his head. “I like sweet things too, I think I want to try this strawberry drink.” 

They order quickly but the menu’s are taken away which leaves no distraction from each other. 

“I watched you and Sejeong’s video. It looked so cool, your dancing and acting scenes were really well executed.”

“Thank you,” Doyoung rushes a response. He pushes his glasses up a bit and plays with the ring on his pointer finger. “Your mini album was released recently right? How is it doing?” It’s the only thing Doyoung can think to ask, his brain is going fuzzy again.

Taeyong smiles and chuckles, coughing to the side once, “Yes, it’s selling pretty well. I have a couple performances of my song coming up. Will you watch them?” Doyoung meets Taeyong’s eyes, they’re as pretty as ever. 

Doyoung smirks, “Of course, why wouldn’t I watch.” Will he really be watching them? Not even Doyoung knows yet but this could be a way for him to actively “hate” Taeyong. 

“I’ll be happy when you do!” The softest expression displays on Taeyong’s face and Doyoung knows he’s in trouble once more. The anger inside starts boiling, his few moments of passively disliking Tayeong are over and it’s back to raging hate. Taeyong will not get away with toying his emotions like this. 

They finish their drinks talking the rest of the time about other various topics such as video games, movies, favorite k-dramas. Taeyong sees Doyoung off, offering to walk him to where he’s headed but Doyoung refuses. He needs to think, emotions pulsing through him are getting all muddled in his brain and he must take time to sort through them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again it's another i-land friday filled with my love for the trainees but hate for mnet :]
> 
> Also this might be TMI but I started a new medicine today and it's making me feel weird so if I post like... seven chapters or something it's because I'm trying to distract myself with editing.


	18. Chapter 18

God Taeyong is so whipped for Doyoung. He could barely sit still from how nervous he was during their little sit down. Seeing his little smile has a certain effect that always makes Taeyong’s brain flutter. It makes his throat tickle as well but that is something Taeyong suppresses. 

He had done so well to keep from coughing anything up during their hangout, and now he just needs to make it through a few hours with Johnny and Jaehyun. Taeyong enters the SM building and makes for the second floor, rubbing his neck to soothe the scratching feeling that’s slowly increasing. He tells himself encouraging words and repeats the pattern of deep breath, hold it, release. The tingling sensation decreases a bit but he doesn’t know how much longer he can hide from it. Maybe he could let one out before Johnny and Jaehyun arrive. 

Taeyong turns on his heels, a looming figure blocks his path towards the bathroom. Johnny smiles down at him and apologizes, Taeyong’s nerves peak a bit, his plans ruined. Jaehyun is behind Johnny as well so there’s definitely no way out. Suddenly breathing becomes a struggle again, but Taeyong attempts a smile. 

“Hey Taeyong, guess you’re ready then,” Jaehyun speaks. 

“Hey-” He barely gets a hello out before the sting in his throat stops the sound, Taeyong ducks his head away and dashes past Johnny and Jaehyun. 

“Taeyong! Where are you going?” Johnny calls after him. Taeyong slams the bathroom door behind him, letting the coughing fit begin while crawling into a stall. It is his luck that no one else is in here, now all he needs is for his friends to not be following him. Taeyong slumps his back against the stall door, holding his chest and trying to steady his breathing. Covering his mouth, a rose petal falls into his palms, but the tickle has not gone. 

The bathroom door creaks open. Please no. 

“Taeyong?”

Taeyong spits out another flower petal. Two this time? It’s always been one, never more. Taeyong thought he was strong but as the stall door slams open and his friends study his position, spotting the flower petals, tears form. 

“It’s not…” Taeyong is barely breathing, his voice meek from the coughing. Johnny and Jaehyun have no words, they just look wide eyed at the tiny red objects in Taeyong’s hands. He claps his hands together to hide them and Johnny squats down. 

“Taeyong” Jaehyun starts, “Do you… do you have hanahaki?” There’s no way to deny it, they saw the petals, they heard him coughing. Small droplets of water fall and collect on Taeyong’s jawline, Johnny pulls him into his chest, rubbing his back in comfort. 

Johnny speaks gently, “Taeyong is this why you asked us about it the other week?” His breathing is still labored, chest and throat aching, but Taeyong manages a weak nod and response. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I couldn’t…” Taeyong stops. They may know now that he has hanahaki but he’s not about to tell them it’s caused by Doyoung. It’s not Doyoung’s fault. 

Jaehyun slams a fist against the stall door and walks in a circle to calm his emotions. Johnny gives him a look and releases Taeyong from the hug, helping him to stand up. 

“Let’s sit somewhere private and talk okay? The work bathroom isn’t the best place for this.” Taeyong nods but as they head out of the stall another tickle climbs into his throat. Jaehyun catches him this time as he falls back coughing, choking on yet another rose petal. Johnny and Jaehyun exchange glances as their friend regains his breath once more. 

“Who is it?” Jaehyun asks, but it’s more of a demand. Taeyong doesn’t make eye contact with either of them, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor tiles. “Goddamit Taeyong you have to tell us. You could-”

Johnny silences him with a hand, “That’s enough Jaehyun, let’s just get Taeyong back to his dorm to rest and then we can talk more.” Grumbling noises come from the youngest boy but Taeyong ignores them. Both of his friends carefully watch over him as Taeyong stumbles out of the building and into the car. Their entire car ride is silent, save for the few times Taeyong’s breathing picks up which makes them all on edge. He doesn’t cough up any more petals though, and soon they’re sitting in Taeyong’s room.

“Okay Taeyong, we aren’t leaving until you tell us who is causing this,” Jaehyun dictates.

Johnny slaps his shoulder, “Jaehyun!”

“What?”

Ignoring him, Johnny takes Taeyong’s hands. “Taeyong, me and Jaehyun just want to help. Telling us who it is you… have feelings for isn’t something bad, we can try and get that person to realize if they have feelings for you too.” Taeyong looks into his eyes, he doesn’t want to lie to his friends again, but Doyoung needs his protection. He has a feeling underneath his cold persona is a fragile person, someone who’s strong but still breaks easily. Taeyong slowly shakes his head, his eyes darting away. Johnny sighs and sits back down on the floor, he and Jaehyun begin discussing something quietly but Taeyong is too tired to try and hear. 

Taeyong speaks again before either of them start to lecture him, “I want this person to like me naturally. I don’t want to force them, that’s not right, that’s not real.” He holds his chest. “I’m willing to wait as long as it takes.” A new confidence inside, Taeyong looks back down at his friends who are staring at him with surprised expressions. They don’t say anything for a while, Taeyong’s gaze doesn’t let them. 

Slowly, Johnny speaks, “Okay. I will respect your decision. But this is something really serious Taeyong, we can’t ignore it.” Jaehyun takes a bit longer to accept it. 

“Is there a chance this person likes you back?”

Taeyong bites his lip, “I don’t… I don’t know if he even likes guys…” Both Johnny and Jaehyun grimace, the chances of their friend surviving are looking slimmer and slimmer. 

“Have you considered your other option?” Johnny asks. Taeyong thinks for a second, what other option? Jaehyun notices his friend’s confused look and answers his silent question. 

“The surgery Taeyong, to remove the infestation.”

“No.” Taeyong answers blankly, looks like he’s making all his stances clear tonight. 

“Taeyong…” Johnny doesn’t say any more. The three friends sit in silence for a while, a grim atmosphere darkening their thoughts. Johnny and Jaehyun have calmed down significantly but Taeyong thinks they’re mainly quiet because they haven’t processed it all yet. Processed the fact that Taeyong is slowly dying, that their friend is deathly sick despite looking perfectly healthy. His career is just taking off, popularity growing, Taeyong’s life had just begun and now it would be cut short due to such a stupid thing called love. 

Johnny exhales after a while, he knows he can’t change Taeyong’s mind, they’ve been friends for far too long and he knows just how stubborn the boy is. He chooses his words carefully, “For now at least, Jaehyun and I want to accompany you everywhere. I’m assuming since you didn’t even let us know, you aren’t going to tell the company. If you start having an episode during work, I’ll cover for you, and Jaehyun can attend to you. Make sure you’re back to breathing quicker and nothing is too painful or causing other problems than the short bursts.” 

Taeyong’s grip on his bed’s comforter loosens. 

“Thank you,” He can’t express his love for them enough. Taeyong really has the greatest friends in the world. They respect his decision to keep the one he love’s identity a secret and are going to protect him. Jaehyun and Johnny stand up, they both position themselves on either side of Taeyong and wrap their arms around him. The pile of warmth stills the shaking inside Taeyong, he rests his head against Johnny’s chest and let’s himself be coddled between the two men. Eventually they release him and say their goodbyes, triple checking to make sure he’ll be okay for the night before finally exiting his dorm. 

Almost immediately, Taeyong lays back in his bed. It’s still quite early to go to bed, dinner time having passed when his friends left but today’s events tired him out enough to bring easy sleep. Just before passing out though, Taeyong’s thoughts race for a little bit. Will there ever be a time when he’d be okay with getting surgery to remove the flowers? Forgetting Doyoung, losing his love for him, it all hurt to think about. A life without the fluttering inside as Doyoung laughs and tries to push Taeyong away during their bickering, isn’t appealing at all. His friends may not want to face it but Taeyong might as well accept his death already. 

Now he knows for sure, out of everything he’s willing to do in life for his friends and career, this is something he’ll never give up. 

He’s willing to spend a lifetime waiting for Doyoung. 

His lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter kinda sucks writing wise :/
> 
> The medicine is making it hard to concentrate on edits ;-; LMAO
> 
> N e ways, more exciting things coming up. Very exciting :)))


	19. Chapter 19

Doyoung is supposed to be writing lyrics for whatever he wants his next project to be, except that’s not what he’s doing. Instead, he’s hastily pacing around his room. Occasionally attempting to sit down and write a line or two, only to chuck the draft in the trash and pace some more. 

He has no ideas for what to write. Well, it’s more like he only has one idea, and it’s not for a song. 

Nothing feels right, one second he had clearly decided to hate Lee Taeyong and then the next he’s sipping drinks with him at his favorite cafe and telling himself the guy’s not that bad. He can’t even explain it to himself, so trying to tell Jeno or Jaemin would just be a waste of an hour of silence. 

Doyoung whacks himself in the head with a pillow, trying to get it together. When that doesn’t work, he hits himself with it a couple more times before collapsing on his bed and groaning. 

A text notification interrupts his pity part though. He hardly believes his eyes when it’s a text from Taeyong, not what he needs right now. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Lee Taeyong**

Here’s the link to my stage performance of today! I hope you haven’t watched it yet, otherwise this reminder is useless 0-0

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTSw_mPYx9o ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTSw_mPYx9o)

Enjoy! :p

**Kim Doyoung**

I’ll watch it. Thanks

_________________________________________________________________________

Doyoung rolls over, clicking the link and sticking his tongue to the side of his mouth while it starts. The flashing lights all start out strong, but the second Taeyong enters the stage he has the stronger presence. His stage aura is insane, and every little detail in the dance he moves his body too. It’s captivating, and with every gaze into the camera from Taeyong, Doyoung struggles to properly breathe. His heart has little palpitations, and his brain becomes fuzzy again. 

Holy hell when did he start smiling? Doyoung shuffles against the wall at the realization, dropping his phone between the sheets, the audio still playing. He grips his head, shaking it violently to try and rid himself of these thoughts. 

It’s all Taeyong’s fault. Taeyong is the one making him freak out like this, Taeyong is messing with his head and he needs to get out. 

All of these feelings, the reactions and heightened senses that happen to Doyoung whenever Taeyong is near, they have to be hatred. There’s no other explanation, Doyoung concludes, he was right the last time. So what if he was weak for that smile when they hung out, everyone is affected by Lee Taeyong’s look, he just has that effect on people. 

Taeyong will no longer be allowed to play with Doyoung like he’s just another ignorant fan falling for his look. Doyoung decides to change his plans, no longer will he be offensive in their little game. He recalls the one thing he knows he’s better at than Lee Taeyong. As a previous track and field participant in high school, Doyoung will do what he excels at best. Doyoung will run. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short :]
> 
> But somethings coming.... what do you think it is?


	20. Chapter 20

The couch cushion molds to fit the body crushing it. Taeyong sighs and makes a whining noise, Johnny looks up from his laptop from across the way in the studio. 

“What’s up?” He shouts. 

Taeyong pouts and props his feet up, kicking his sneakers off to the side. “I’m bored.” That is half of it, the other part is that he misses Doyoung. Their schedules are pretty packed, sure, but Taeyong hasn’t even seen him in the halls or passed by while he’s in a studio. The only glimpses of Doyoung he’s had are of him in videos or articles. It’s making him sad.

“You never get bored from your work?” Johnny raises an eyebrow but Taeyong pretends not to see. Instead he checks his phone and scrolls through his gallery, he stops on the two images saved of him and Doyoung at the party. His lungs tighten a bit, and Taeyong sits up to steady his breathing. 

“I’m going to go get a snack from the food table,” Taeyong states, slipping his shoes back on and locking his phone. 

Johnny starts to close his laptop, “I’ll come with you.”

“It’s okay, I can grab something for you.”

“That’s not what I’m going for,” Johnny stands and holds Taeyong back from the door. 

Taeyong pouts, “I’ll be fine, I’m just going there and coming back. It’s a few seconds, I don’t need to be babysat.” Johnny hesitates to let go but eventually he does and plops back down in his chair, reopening his laptop. 

“Fine, but don’t let Jaehyun know about this or he’ll kill me. And be careful, the second you feel something come immediately back here.”

Taeyong nods. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay, really.” He grins the second the studio door closes behind him. Johnny and Jaehyun haven’t let him out of their sights since they found out about his hanahaki, which is sweet but also a bit annoying. Quick trips to the bathroom and nights were his only alone time. Them watching his every move also means he wasn’t able to search for Doyoung all week. If he was to be deliberately looking for him while they’re with him, they might figure it out. 

Taeyong briskly walks over to where the company’s snack table is, his plan is to grab something as quick as possible and peek around a bit for Doyoung. Johnny wouldn’t know a thing if he can return in time, unless he finds Doyoung, then Taeyong would need an excuse to tell Johnny after returning. 

He reaches for a bar but his hand collides with someone else's, Taeyong immediately releases his grip on the snack. 

“Sorry, you can have it,” Taeyong smiles and insists. He looks over at the person and knows him to be Kim Jungwoo, a fellow artist at SM. His hair is freshly dyed bright red and the boy stands quite taller than Taeyong, almost as tall as Johnny he thinks. 

“It’s okay, I’ll just take a different snack.” Jungwoo hands him the bar and reaches over for something else.

“Thank you,” Taeyong continues staring at him. “You’re Jungwoo right?” Jungwoo nods and smiles. 

“Yeah, you know me?”

Taeyong chuckles a little, “Of course, we’re both musicians here. I watch all of your music video releases when they come out. How could I not know you?”

The red haired boy grins brightly, his cuteness reminds Taeyong of a puppy’s. “It’s just, you’re one of SM’s top artists along with Taeil and Doyoung, I didn’t think you’d pay attention to a less popular singer…”

“Nonsense, you’re just as talented. Since you’re newer it might take some time for everyone else to realize it too,” Taeyong advises. Just because someone has more or less fans, it doesn’t discredit their own talents and hard work. 

“T-thank you,” the boy becomes shy as he fills up a cup with some water. 

Taeyong tilts his head, suddenly thinking, “You mentioned Doyoung, do you by any chance know where he might be right now?” Jungwoo takes a sip of his water and hums while he thinks. 

“I passed by him in the hallway a few minutes ago, I don’t know where he was headed though.”

“Which hallway?” Jungwoo points behind Taeyong and he immediately bows his head in thanks while scurrying off. Hopefully he still has a few minutes before Johnny comes looking for him, but that’s all he needs. Taeyong barrels down the hallways, his breathing picking up along with his pace, but as he rounds the last corner into a dead end his heart drops. There is no Doyoung here, he turns around sullenly, but catches a glimpse of someone dashing into a studio. Taeyong thinks he might have imagined it and walks cautiously towards the studio door, a small tingling building up in his throat. He is just about to peer through the practice room window when Johnny comes stomping towards him. 

“Lee Taeyong what are you doing?” Taeyong steps back a bit. There goes any chance of seeing Doyoung today, he wants to cry now as the tingling turns into a threatening tickle. 

“Johnny, hey, uh, I was just-” 

Johnny’s anger turns immediately into concern as his friend chokes on his words. “Taeyong?” Taeyong grimaces as he holds down a cough and dashes into the bathroom, which luckily isn’t too far away. The wheezing starts and Johnny enters within seconds, rubbing and gently patting Taeyong’s back as he hacks up a total of three rose petals. They scratch his throat when they come up, and glancing down he understands why. A green leaf lays beside the three soft red petals. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Johnny gently whispers as it all happens, cradling Taeyong’s shaking body carefully. Once his coughing stops and his breaths are stable, Taeyong let’s Johnny know it’s okay to let go. 

Taeyong picks up the objects before Johnny can see and chucks them in the trash. They walk back to the studio in silence, thankfully Johnny doesn’t ask any questions about what Taeyong was doing, probably assuming he was heading for the bathroom. 

The two don’t talk about it, it’s happened a couple times throughout the week, even Jaehyun was there several times. Taeyong can’t take his thoughts off the leaf though, and usually he only coughs up two petals at a time, then a third one after. This time three came up at once, and a leaf, which could only mean one thing.

His hanahaki is getting worse. 

He needs to find Doyoung and get closer to him. Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little longer


	21. Chapter 21

Doyoung is relieved as he finds the studio without any windows to be empty. His managers were requesting him to come in more after he avoided going in for a couple days. It’s not that he can’t work well in the studios, it’s not even that he’s avoiding doing work. The situation is more that there’s a certain someone he’s decided to stay away from due to his overwhelming feelings of hate for him. 

Originally, Doyoung thought it would be easy, but as it turns out, Taeyong is literally everywhere. Seriously, that boy is always wandering the halls with Johnny tagging behind or practicing in the open studios. Doyoung did his best to not be seen the first few days but after almost getting caught and accidentally barging into Taeil’s practice room in an attempt to hide, Doyoung thought the best way was to simply avoid working in the building. 

Yet here he is now, tucking himself into the farthest corner of the work area and spreading out his papers. He can’t even escape from Taeyong around his managers, every other second all they do is bring up the idea of making a song with Taeyong. Each time, all Doyoung can do is politely smile and say he doesn’t think it’s the right time, but with every ask his smile fades a bit. When will Taeyong stop bothering him for good?

He needs to stop thinking about that boy, so Doyoung focuses on his work like he’s supposed to. Right now he’s on a bit of a break, which means it’s time to start writing lyrics again. Kun contacted him with a couple samples for him to use as inspiration if he needs it. Doyoung uses that method sometimes, but most of the time he writes the song beforehand with a melody in mind and Kun helps to develop and polish the rest. There’s satisfaction in doing most of it yourself, makes Doyoung connect with his own music better if he’s involved in most of the process. 

His process right now though isn’t going great. Doyoung is dry of any ideas at all, he has been for weeks. What in the hell is he supposed to write about now? He could tell a story with a song, sing about something sad or a distant goal, about his work, family. The possibilities are endless yet here he is, scribbling out every line after writing or typing it. Doyoung wonders where all his inspiration has gone. 

Maybe Jeno and Jaemin could help him brainstorm a bit, they are always good at jogging his creativity whenever he’s at a blockage. Doyoung shoots a quick text asking when they’re next free and walks to the middle of the room. He stretches every part of his body, stalling the time before going back to work, and walks up to the mirror once he’s finished. 

Doyoung stares back at himself, looking over his face and body, his imperfections. He doesn’t hate the way he looks, he knows he is quite handsome. That still doesn’t mean he won’t feel comfortable going out unless makeup has been applied and his clothes are properly styled. His hand covers the right side of his face, turning the left to the mirror, then he switches the stance. Yeah, he definitely is more satisfied with his right side, the left side isn’t bad it’s just not as special. 

Doyoung sighs and sits criss-cross in front of the mirror. What’s the point of evaluating his looks when there’s someone as handsome looking as Lee Taeyong in the world. His tongue angrily licks his lips and Doyoung takes a deep breath. He’s not jealous of Taeyong exactly, but he still hates how everyone eyes the artist all the time. Whatever, he’s far away from the guy right now, safely hidden behind the opaque studio door. 

Before getting up from his position Doyoung glances over his face once more in the mirror, sometimes he can see his brother’s features in him. It makes him miss his old best friend, and wonder if they’ll ever get to be that close again. Gong Myung has his own life now, a successful acting career and a wife. There’s no more room for Doyoung, and he’s accepted that but it still leaves an emptiness inside him. He no longer has someone to be close with, who will care for and protect him. 

He looks at the ground, swallowing and closing his eyes to bury the feeling. The practice room door swings open behind him and Doyoung jumps forward in fright, his moment interrupted. 

“What the hell-” Doyoung pivots, already pissed off at whoever came in without knocking, but Taeyong standing before him shuts him up. That boiling feeling inside begins to bubble and Doyoung clenches his fists as the heat rises into his face. “Why can’t you ever knock?”

Taeyong frowns, clearly recognizing he’s upset Doyoung, “Doyoung I’m sorry, I’ll make sure to knock next time… I promise.”

Doyoung takes several deep breaths before responding. “You better.” 

He clenches his teeth, all of the feelings he’d been avoiding the past days are resurfacing. The confusion, the frustrations, the anger. He needs to calm himself and get away before it all spills over, because if it does he might do something he’ll regret later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prepare


	22. Chapter 22

“Can I sit?” Taeyong asks, stepping closer to where Doyoung is crouched on the floor. 

Doyoung forces a smile, “No. Sorry, but I have a lot of work to do and I can’t get distracted.” He pivots away from Taeyong, hiding his strained expression and walks over to where all his work is. 

“Please, just for a little. I wanted to ask about some things, I tried finding you earlier this week but I think we were in the building at different hours,” Taeyong follows him to the corner. Doyoung stares down at his papers, not daring to look up. This guy needs to learn when to quit it and leave someone alone, that someone behind Doyoung. He doesn’t answer, just clenches his teeth harder as his heartbeat accelerates due to Taeyong’s physical closeness. “Doyoung?”

He can’t take it anymore, Doyoung shoves all his things to the side and walks out of the studio. Taeyong is making him crazy and if Taeyong won’t leave, he will. He knows for sure Taeyong will be following him but there’s a usually empty hallway one level up that he can try to escape to. 

“Doyoung? What’s wrong? Where are you going?” Taeyong calls out after him in between a couple coughs. 

“Leave me alone!” Doyoung let’s the phrase slip as he skips up the stairs, two at a time, not missing a beat. He needs to get away and hopes Taeyong will take his sudden walking out as a sign to leave him alone, but the older boy isn’t giving up and sprints after him. Doyoung’s plan isn’t working, this isn’t good, he can feel the heat rising in him just thinking about having to turn back and face Taeyong. The hallway he’s headed for is a dead end, if he doesn’t lose Taeyong before it, then he’ll be trapped. 

Still, Doyoung navigates his way through halls, hoping he’ll be on his own after every rounded corner, but every time he checks back Taeyong is still there, breathing heavily. Isn’t this guy a renowned dancer, why is he struggling to breath that much?

Doyoung groans as he reaches his destination and freezes in the middle of the hallway, he hears Taeyong arrive behind him and stop as well. 

“Doyoung please,” Taeyong steadies his breathing, “Why are you running from me? Did I do something, I’m sorry-”

“Stop.” All of the tension built up in Doyoung is suffocating, he can’t keep it inside anymore. He turns sharply to face the blonde haired boy. He hates this boy so much it’s making him blush and feel like he has an entire butterfly garden inside his stomach. “You need to stop.”

“Stop what?” Taeyong has a worried look, his eyes are shaking as they move across trying to decipher Doyoung’s facial expression. 

Doyoung scoffs, “I know you aren’t that dense.” His fist ball up again, fingernails digging in. 

“Doyoung please-”

“Fine, if you really don’t know Lee Taeyong I’ll explain. You need to leave me alone, stop trying to befriend me and talk to me and go get food or drinks with me. I don’t want to hang out with you, and I sure as hell don’t want to be your friend.” Doyoung’s feelings frustrate him, but all these feelings are caused by Taeyong and his stupid antics, which means it’s Taeyong who is frustrating Doyoung. 

Taeyong stutters, “D-doyoung I’m sorry I didn’t...I didn’t…”

“What? You didn’t know?” Doyoung grits his teeth. He sees tears begin to form in Taeyong’s eyes, the boy is gripping his chest and leaning forward a bit. The pressure inside of Doyoung breaks a little at seeing this, a sudden pain inside his heart that confuses him beyond end. This isn’t how it should be. Doyoung is angry, he’s angry at Taeyong. Why are his own tears forming then from a place of guilt?

Doyoung has pain in his next words, but he spits them out regardless, still thinking his feelings are that of disdain, “I hate you Taeyong. Can you hear me? I hate you Lee Taeyong.” Taeyong’s eyes reflect a devastation that makes their sparkle dissipate, but Doyoung can’t take back his words. Tears spill over for Taeyong who can’t respond, Doyoung can tell he might be broken at this moment but if Taeyong leaves him alone after this… it will be okay right? 

“I’m sorry-” Taeyong chokes on his words, he falls to the floor, tears staining the wooden ground. Doyoung can’t look at him, he hates this boy for everything he’s done to him. However, the heavy breathing of Taeyong worries him and Doyoung’s continually breaking facade finally begins to crack as his anger is taken over by concern. 

Suddenly, Taeyong begins to violently tremble on the floor as he suppresses something. His shaking suddenly stops and a few coughs escape from him. Then it turns into multiple coughs, until they are non-stop and Taeyong clearly cannot breathe. Doyoung’s eyes widen and he bends down in panic, his heart racing now. Taeyong pushes him away and tries to turn away down the hall but collapses with one step. 

Doyoung’s tears are streaming now as he crawls back over to Taeyong who is clutching his throat and chest, still hacking loudly. 

“Taeyong what’s wrong! Please breath, oh my god Taeyong. I didn’t mean-”

“Taeyong? Taeyong where did you run off to?” Shouts come from a few steps away. Doyoung thinks it might be Johnny’s voice, but he can’t focus well. His hands are shaking as he reaches towards Taeyong again and tries to prop him up. Every part of him is praying, begging that Taeyong will be okay. Doyoung fears he’s gone too far and caused all of this, no he knows he’s gone too far, but right he just want’s Taeyong to breathe.

Taeyong is still wheezing in Doyoung’s arms when Johnny and Jaehyun come bounding over. Doyoung looks up at them, his heart pounding in his head and his lips trembling. 

“Please, I don’t know what’s going on he just, he just collapsed,” Doyoung can barely speak clearly through his shaky voice. Without any response, Jaehyun stomps over and slams him into the ground while Johnny grabs Taeyong and turns him away, whacking his back. Taeyong has several loud coughs and Doyoung tries to scramble up to check on him but Jaehyun pushes him down again. Doyoung looks up confused, Jaheyun is glaring down at him and he immediately backs up, scared of the model’s intense gaze. He realizes Jaehyun pushing him away was not an accident. 

“You don’t make one move closer to him,” Jaehyun growls at him. The coughing stops and Doyoung can hear Johnny calmly speaking to Taeyong while cradling him and rubbing his back. 

Johnny picks up Taeyong and holds him against his body, the blonde haired boy still gasping for air. 

“Jaehyun we need to go. Now.” Jaehyun shoots Doyoung one more look filled with full anger before rushing away with Johnny and Taeyong. The only things they leave behind are Doyoung sitting confused, and a row of fallen bright red rose petals. Doyoung stares at the objects, barely able to process everything that just happened. Once his brain pieces it together he stumbles back into the farthest wall in disbelief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought? Feelings? :)
> 
> Should I post more chapters today or should I make you wait........


	23. Chapter 23

It all catches up to Doyoung in his taxi home. He left immediately after the scene, shaky and panicked, and now he’s sitting in a random car trying to hold in his sobs. He pays the driver then hurries up to his dorm and bolts the door shut. His cries escape, Doyoung desperately runs his fingers through his hair, trying to make sense of everything he’s done. 

What was he thinking, snapping at Taeyong like that, telling him he hates him. This whole time he’s gone back and forth, not knowing if it’s genuine hate or just dislike he feels. Now Doyoung can’t even tell if that’s what he’s been feeling this whole time. Everything he thought he knew and felt, it just doesn’t seem correct anymore. 

Through his blurry vision, Doyoung pulls out the petals he collected from the hallway. There’s five in total, all deep red rose petals with soft texture. He’s not sure if where he thinks they came from is right, but he knows before Taeyong started coughing they weren’t there and when he finished, they were. 

But that would mean Taeyong has hanahaki. 

Doyoung tries to figure and sort out all the spinning pieces in his head. If Taeyong has hanahaki that means, by the definition of the disease, he’s dying from an unrequited love, but who is it? It wouldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny, they both seemed to know well what was going on, so if not them then who?

Doyoung hits pause on his thoughts. 

“Me?” He says it out loud, the question is for himself. It’s impossible for him to be the one Taeyong likes, they didn’t hang out that much. Sure, Taeyong was always approaching him and complimenting him, being shy around him, chasing after Doyoung, but that was just... normal behavior. 

Doyoung groans and holds his head. He can’t deal with all of this right now, there’s so much he doesn’t know. About himself, about Taeyong. 

Was it his yelling that set if off then? That seems most probable to Doyoung, he doesn’t think he’s the reason for Taeyong's hanahaki but maybe his yelling and the stupid things he said triggered the disease. 

Now he’s back to regretting everything he said. Doyoung doesn’t even feel sorry for himself, he knows he was such an asshole to Taeyong. Sure he was fed up with what Taeyong was doing to him, how he was making him feel all icky inside, but that was no excuse to yell mindlessly unprovoked. That’s not even an excuse to loathe him.

Doyoung closes his eyes and sits for a while, crying while his thoughts race and his nerves slowly calm. It takes an hour, maybe two, before he’s able to get up. His eyelids are heavy and puffy, his heading pounding from his cries, and an absolute void left inside his chest. The guilt he feels weighs him down as he trudges to his shower and strips his clothes, not bothering to fold them in a pile and instead just chucking them to the floor. Doyoung lets the shower start scalding hot, burning his skin, and stays in till it has turned freezing cold. His trembling body wraps in a towel and he throws on some pj’s, mindlessly falling onto his bed. 

He reaches for his phone, desperate for anyone to be there, but not even Jeno has responded to his message from earlier. Doyoung sighs. He has no courage to text his brother. He knows there will be no response for a few days, and by then everything will be different. Instead, he slowly types out an individual message to Jeno.

_________________________________________________________________________

**Doyoung**

Hey

I think someone I know might be hiding something and I think I just made it worse by making a really horrible, terrible decision and idk what to do about it or how to figure out what’s really going on so ahaha if you have any advice on this vague situation i just gave you then thanks

Don’t worry about it though if you don’t know any advice

I’m fine btw, before you ask :)

_________________________________________________________________________

After an hour with no response, Doyoung gives up. Nobody is there, and nobody is coming. Doyoung has no one. He lets silent tears fall in the time before drifting off into a deep sleep. 

…

A pounding in his head wakes Doyoung. He slowly lifts up, clutching where the pain is and checks the time. It’s night, he slept through the day, and now he isn’t going to sleep through the night. He rubs his eyes, a little crusty from dry tears and let’s himself be in a calming silence. Once he feels a little more awake, Doyoung plods lightly over to the bathroom and throws water on his face continuously. Drying his skin, he thinks he hears his phone ding and puts the towel down, walking back out into his room. Doyoung searches under his covers for the phone and opens it. Jeno has responded. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Jeno [ o_o ]**

If you’re unsure on something about someone, the best thing is to either ask them about it directly or ask someone close to them. Sometimes it’s okay to ask their friends or family, but if you know it’s something you should ask them about directly, then do that. 

Also this sounds serious, are you sure you’re doing okay?

I can come over if you want

**Doyoung**

Thanks for the advice

No need to come over, I’m fine :)

_________________________________________________________________________

Doyoung shuts his phone, he can’t speak to Taeyong right now, not after everything he said. Taeyong probably actually hates him now and never wants to see him again, which is fair because Doyoung knows his behavior was unforgivable.

Talking to Johnny or Jaehyun though, that’s something he can try. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains a lot of swearing and a lot of verbal violence. There is some vague physical violence as well. Please be careful when reading this chapter if these are things that may upset you!

He waits a day before approaching Johnny and Jaehyun in the company cafe. Surprisingly, no news of Taeyong’s condition had gotten out, staff was told he was resting for a few days and visiting his family so that’s what everyone else was told too. How Johnny and Jaehyun are keeping this under wraps is a mystery to Doyoung. Hiding hanahaki always seemed like something difficult to Doyoung, but then again he doesn’t know if that’s what Taeyong has. There’s a chance it’s something else and the petals Doyoung found were just random, dropped by Johnny or Jaehyun on accident. 

The two boys stop their conversation the minute they spot Doyoung coming over. Jaehyun stands, leaving his stuff there and promptly walks away. Doyoung picks up his pace as Johnny packs up his stuff and heads after Jaehyun. 

“Wait, please,” Doyoung calls out to them. He follows them through the cafeteria and into the hallways of practice studios. The two ignore him and pick up speed. Doyoung does the same and widens his strides in an attempt to catch up. If they won’t wait, he’ll make them stop. 

“I know he has hanahaki.” 

Doyoung’s words work and the two boys freeze. He finally reaches them and stands before the two, his eyes looking away from their gaze. 

“Yell it a little louder will you,” Johnny utters. Doyoung spots Jaehyun’s fists shaking, he takes a deep breath. 

Doyoung lowers his voice to a whisper, “Then I was right. Taeyong does have hanahaki. Please… I know you owe me no explanation but I’m assuming no one else knows besides you two. Can I know who caused it for him, and if yesterday, my…” Doyoung fades out, scared to admit what he did yesterday. He doesn’t know if Taeyong told them about what he said or not, god he hopes they don’t know. They probably do though, judging by the way they walked away from him and were now staring down vexingly at him. 

“You want to know if your yelling at him made it worse right?” Johnny completes his question and Doyoung looks up finally. They do know about what he did. 

“Taeyong told you…”

Jaehyun scoffs, “Yeah. At least he told us that.”

Doyoung cocks his head, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” Jaehyun grumbles as Johnny shoves him a little. 

Doyoung takes a deep breath and continues, “I also, I want to apologize to Taeyong, if he’ll let me. Since you know what I did, I think we can agree what I said was unprompted-”

“And wrong, hurtful, stupid, just overall-”

“Stop Jaehyun,” Johnny cuts off Jaehyun, “Continue Doyoung.”

Doyoung nods, not looking at the model and instead focusing on a still angry but less murderous Johnny. “I need to apologize to him, I didn’t mean any of what I said. I don’t actually hate him that strongly…” Doyoung stops, saying now that he hates Taeyong or even dislikes him hurts. When did he ever feel so strongly annoyed that it turned into hate? 

Johnny is shaking his head when Doyoung looks up again, the taller boy grabs both his wrist and Jaehyuns and shoves them into the nearest empty studio, safely shutting the door behind them. He gives a look to Jaehyun who has turned a bit red from frustration and suddenly Doyoung fears for his life. 

Doyoung backs up “What-”

“Oh shut up,” Jaehyun finally breaks. Doyoung looks over to Johnny for help but he’s turned around, facing away from the scene. Jaehyun steps closer to Doyoung and looks down at him. 

Jaehyun laughs a little, “You really are a stupid bastard. The only reason I’ll tell you all of this is because I owe you a dumb favor from that party and it’s the only way for your thick skull to comprehend. Yes, Taeyong has hanahaki, yes your little implosion at him yesterday made it worse. It made it so much worse he was almost passed out for an entire day and scared the shit out of me and Johnny. You know what’s frustrating though, Johnny and I were just as stupid. Taeyong wouldn’t tell us who he fell for, who caused this, because he wanted to protect him, but we should’ve seen it sooner. I mean it’s pretty obvious.” 

With every word Jaehyun takes one step forward and Doyoung takes one step back. His heart is pounding in fear, a sensation to run about to kick in. 

Doyoung still can’t put it together. “I don’t understand. Who is it?” 

That really sets Jaehyun off. 

“Don’t you get it? Have you really not figured it out? You’re killing him, Kim Doyoung! You’re killing Lee Taeyong. The most innocent person in the entire world who’s always kind and checking in on everyone. Who’s always working his ass off even if he was passed out drunk the night before. You’re killing him, but because of who he is, he’s willing to fucking die for some unworthy, selfish, idiot kid like you!” 

Doyoung’s knees buckles beneath him. His eyes fixate on the ground, his vision going a bit blurry. Jaehyun spits at the ground next to him and shoves Doyoung’s shoulders forcefully, Johnny comes over to pull him away before he does anything else. 

Jaehyun says a few more words before leaving the studio with Johnny, “Leave him and us alone before you make things worse. We’ll make him get the surgery and then he can forget about you. Then we can all be happy.”

The studio door slams behind the two. Doyoung is once again left by himself with a whirlwind of new questions and no clue how to answer them. 

Is Taeyong really in love with him? Is he really… killing Taeyong? 

His tears sting his skin, a burning that only reminds him of how horrible a person he is for crying over something that’s his own goddamn fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm how are you feeling about all that's happening?
> 
> (P.s. It's Saturday, anything can happen posting wise so If I drop the rest of the chapters today.... 0-0)


	25. Chapter 25

Doyoung doesn’t move until the studio door reopens and a brown haired head pops through the doorway, followed by a tall body. 

“Johnny?”

“Oh good you’re still here. I wanted to talk to you, uh without Jaehyun,” Johnny bites his lip. “Sorry about his attitude, we’re both angry and worried for Taeyong so, I kind of let him speak for the both of us.”

Doyoung stands and dusts off his knees, trying to regain composure through his puffy eyes and staggered breathing. “It’s okay. I think he needed to say that, and I needed to hear it.”

“Doyoung?” 

Doyoung meets Johnny’s eyes, “Yes?”

“Do you really hate Taeyong?”

Doyoung shuts his eyes. “I don’t… I don’t know, honestly. I really thought I did, but ever since I said it out loud I realized that’s not, that’s not right.” He reopens his eyes and sees Johnny solemnly nodding his head. 

“I don’t see how anyone could hate Taeyong, so I believe that you’re just confusing it with something else. I can’t help you with that part though, and you do owe Taeyong a sincere apology. There is something else I want to discuss though,” Johnny declares as he points to some chairs in the room. Doyoung follows his demands and sits in one while the older goes and turns on the practice room lights. He hadn’t noticed how dark it is in there until the lights come on and blind him. Johnny then comes over and joins him, sitting directly across from the younger.

“Am I really the one Taeyong likes? Am I,” He chokes a little on his next words, his eyes watering again, “Am I the one killing Taeyong?”

With no way to deny it, Johnny nods his head in confirmation. “That’s not the way I would put it exactly. Taeyong’s hanahaki has only recently gone into stage two, which leaves some time before it’s... deadly. He has been in a lot of pain,” Johnny exhales, “none of this is directly your fault.” Johnny sighs this time and takes Doyoung’s hands. At first he flinches from the touch but Johnny’s eyes say he can be trusted so Doyoung let’s his hands be held. 

“You didn’t know. From now on though, what happens with Taeyong’s hanahaki will be determined by you because you’ll actively know about it and choose to do what you will. Taeyong told us he wasn’t going to tell you because he doesn’t want to force you to like him, he wanted to befriend you first, and then let any feelings develop naturally. While Jaehyun and I may have wanted to do it differently, we can’t make Taeyong’s decisions for him. At some point though, if he still refuses and you haven’t done anything, we will take action to save our friend. I don’t know what things will be like at that time or if it will come, and honestly I have no clue what’s going to happen now.” 

The older’s words comfort and scare Doyoung, essentially Taeyong’s life is now in his hands, at least until the foreseeable future. He’s shocked too, Taeyong is really willing to put himself through so much pain and possibly even die just so Doyoung won’t feel pressured. Doyoung thinks back to the way he treated Taeyong, the things he said in his head every time the boy asked to hangout with him. He hates himself for every negative thing he’s ever said or done to Taeyong. 

Except, while he was busy thinking he hated Taeyong, Taeyong was busy falling in love with Doyoung. That’s what confuses Doyoung the most. At what point had he gotten the hanahaki? It couldn’t have been before they met, was it the first time they ate together? The second?

Doyoung sinks back into his chair. 

Johnny speaks, “I’m not done by the way. While I’m not blaming you for causing Taeyong’s hanahaki, I am mad about what you said to him. If you even think for a second that what you said is okay or excused, you’re sick.”

Doyoung shakes his head, his eyes widening in sincerity, “You should be mad at me for that, I’m mad at myself for it, though I can’t change what I said. I need to apologize to Taeyong, he needs to know I’m sorry…”

“I agree, him thinking you hate him only feeds the flowers in his lungs,” Johnny states, “So I will take you to see him, so you can apologize.” Doyoung jumps forward in his seat, his heart leaping inside his chest. 

“Really?”

The brown hair in front of him shakes up and down in confirmation, “Yes, but there’s a few conditions. Taeyong still thinks you don’t know about his hanahaki because, well, we thought you didn’t so that’s what we told him. You will make absolutely no mention of it and pretend like you have no clue what happened. And you’ll go apologize to him sincerely and truthfully, no lies, no hesitation.” Doyoung nods eagerly, he has a chance to undo his wrongs. Maybe everything is more complicated now, but putting that aside he still needs to deal with his actions. 

“Thank you so much Johnny,” Doyoung can’t even control himself as he springs up and embraces Johnny tightly. The taller boy laughs a little at the small body attached to him but eventually squeezes him back. Doyoung let’s go, embarrassed. “Why are you helping me by the way?”

“Because you’re the only possibility for saving Taeyong right now. He’s my best friend. I’ll do what he needs to survive, and right now, he needs you,” Johnny states it seriously, no wavering in his voice. Doyoung stays silent for a bit, taking that last part in. 

“Okay, lead the way.”

Doyoung holds the door open while they both exit the building, climbing into Johnny’s car. He had looked around for Jaehyun while they left but the model was nowhere in sight, a blessing for Doyoung. 

They pull out of the SM parking lot and start the hour-long drive to Taeyong’s resting place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments, seriously! I love seeing what you all are thinking or feeling while you read this hehe. N e ways, here's another one for today :)
> 
> Yall are the best ;-; <3
> 
> Also, here's my curious cat if you want to ask questions:
> 
> https://curiouscat.qa/SmithEAdin


	26. Chapter 26

Taeyong is laying in his bed, staring out the window when there’s a knock on the door. He panics and quickly gathers up the few stray petals resting on top of his blanket. The door opens as he stuffs them under the covers, ridding of the evidence. Johnny steps through and Taeyong gives him a warm smile. 

“Resting well?” Johnny comes over and pulls a chair up next to the bed, he looks for Taeyong’s hand but frowns upon finding them under the blankets. He gently reaches for the cover but Taeyong brings out his hand instead, stopping him. The taller boy sighs and retracts but still gives Taeyong a sad look.

Taeyong coughs a little as he gives up, Johnny’s look right now is the kind you’re parents give you when they already know you’ve done something and are just waiting for you to confess to it. He pulls the petals out, handing them to Johnny who walks over and throws them into the trash can. 

“Did you bring me anything?” Taeyong pouts, upset he was discovered. Johnny can see through him like glass, it isn’t fair. 

“Yes.”

Taeyong sits up, eyes brightening. “Really! What is it?” The sudden movement causes the plant inside his lung to jostle a little, painful but Taeyong’s too excited about his present to care. 

Johnny sits back down in the chair and smiles, “It’s not what, it’s who.” Taeyong blinks and tilts his head. 

“My sister? Thank you Johnny but I don’t want her to know-”

“No no,” Johnny laughs a little, “Someone else. Someone who has something he needs to… well anyways, It’s Doyoung.”

“What?” Taeyong shrieks, hearing the name quickens his pulse and he can already feel himself sweating a bit. “You brought him here? Does he know? You didn’t tell him right? Is he mad at me?” 

Johnny strokes Taeyong’s hands to calm him and speaks softly, “Calm down, he doesn’t know about your hanahaki and neither Jaehyun nor I plan on telling him. He wanted to talk to you, to apologize. He came up to us and was actually really worried about you.”

Taeyong stutters, “H-he was worried?” His ears are heating up, little butterflies inside probably flying up to the flowers in his chest and pollinating them. He lets out a few weak coughs. 

“Do you want to talk to him?”

“Yes,” Taeyong almost says sarcastically to Johnny, of course he wants to talk to Doyoung. He wants to say sorry for making Doyoung hate him. Although if Doyoung is coming to apologize does that mean he doesn’t hate him? It hurt so much when Doyoung ran, when he yelled out his true feelings. Taeyong didn’t want to believe it, but thinking of the boy still makes his heart jump and his brain buzz. 

Taeyong is ashamed of himself for all the times he annoyed Doyoung to the point that he actually hates him. This situation doesn’t help with his hanahaki, but a part of Taeyong accepts it as punishment for making such a kindhearted person as Doyoung have to detest him so much. 

It’s okay, Doyoung can hate him, all Taeyong has to do is love him and that’s enough. 

Johnny nods at him, checking the room once more for any signs of stray petals then gently closes the door behind him. The time in between it reopening is tense, there’s no way for Taeyong to prepare himself so all he can do is sit there and freak out internally. Sure enough, the second a small Doyoung pops his head through the door frame Taeyong feels the urge to leap up and hug him. Even though he’s the one who’s in pain, he was worried Doyoung was hurting too or worrying too much. It was a silly thought of Taeyong’s, the boy hates him, which means he wouldn’t have cared. 

Doyoung slowly makes his way over, not making eye contact and hesitantly sits in the chair open for him next to the bed. Taeyong just smiles and waits for the boy to finally look into his eyes, the contact is only held for a few seconds before Doyoung adverts his gaze again. 

“Hi,” Taeyong softly greets him, careful not too sound too energetic. Doyoung might be offput by his energy, Taeyong doesn’t want that. 

The younger takes a deep breath and replies, “Hey.” Taeyong observes him tightly positioned in the chair, hands tucked under his thighs, a double layer of plaid over a white shirt thoroughly covering his upper half. His eyes are darting around the room, Doyoung constantly licks his lips and presses them together. 

Taeyong laughs a little to lighten the atmosphere, “Do you like this place? It’s one of Jaehyun’s families extra houses for-”

“I’m sorry.” Doyoung looks up as he says the words, eyes childlike looking and glossy. The youthful look of regret melts Taeyong. 

“Doyoung it’s okay… I need to apologize as well.”

Doyong finally looks into Taeyong’s eyes, taking a deep breath and bobbling his head. The little strands of black hair in front of his eyes wiggle along with the movement. “But it isn’t okay. Please don’t lie and say that it is. And there’s nothing for you to apologize for, it’s not your fault that I pinned my frustrations on you. What I said… the things I said, I didn’t mean any of them. I thought I did but, Taeyong truly I don’t hate you. I had a lot of anger and I ended up taking it out on you because of a few small things I got annoyed by and you were just there so…” Taeyong studies his changing facial expression, it goes from sadness to anger, fear. He shouldn’t be afraid of anything though, what he’s saying right now isn’t going to make Taeyong angry. Doyoung can never make Taeyong angry. 

The younger continues, “I’m sorry Taeyong. I don’t hate you. Forgiving me is your choice, so if you want me to leave you alone I’ll do that.”

“No, don’t leave me.”

Doyoung cocks his head, “What?” 

Taeyong’s ears burn at his outburst. “Ah no, I mean,” Taeyong takes a deep breath, “I mean that I accept your apology. Yes your words hurt me, but knowing you didn’t mean them and don’t feel that way is all that matters to me. I only hope that next time you’re suppressing something, you can talk to someone about it. I’ll always be here to listen as well if you want, I know we aren’t…” Taeyong is reminded of all the times Doyoung specifically stated that they aren’t friends, he considers them to be but Doyoung must feel differently. He doubts that is something that changed from his outburst. “We aren’t extremely close but you can rely on me, as a fellow artist.” They nod at one another, an understanding having been found between each other. 

“Thank you for forgiving me,” Doyoung says sincerely, he hesitates on his next words, “ and for still being my friend even after I treated you horribly.” Taeyong almost squeals out loud.

“So we are friends!” He grins at the younger, his fingers tapping excitedly on the sheets. 

A slight smile appears on Doyoung’s sad face, his singular dimple making a short appearance. “I would consider us that, if you do. Taeyong I have one more question though.”

Taeyong coughs a little and calms down his excitement, “What is it?”

“What happened? After I yelled… are you okay?”

The older swallows, now being the one to avert his eyes. He gives a little laugh and a thumbs up. “Yeah, I’m good. I, uh, actually have a bit of asthma but it kind of was acting up that day randomly.” Taeyong rubs the back of his neck, he’s uncomfortable lying to Doyoung but it’s for a good reason. Besides it only half a lie, he did have asthma as a very young kid it just faded the older he got. “That combined with the yelling, must have just stressed my lungs a bit too much and so I had a small episode. You really don’t need to worry though, I’m okay now after Johnny and Jaehyun scolded me for not bringing my inhaler.” He tries to laugh a little for his acting to work better, luckily his natural laugh and his nervous laugh sound the same. 

Doyoung nods along with the story, thankfully asking no questions. The two stare out the window for a while, listening to some birds singing to one another outside. Taeyong wonders what the boy is thinking, is he doubting his cover story or is simply lost in some other world of his own. Taeyong longs to be let in and lost along with him. 

At least now they are officially friends, and Taeyong can rest easier knowing the one he loves does not hate him. Things are slowly becoming okay, and little progress is better than no progress to Taeyong. 

After a while of discussing small matters and holding casual conversation about this and that, laughing at each other’s stories like they had during previous hangouts, Johnny reenters with Jaehyun behind him and interrupts their time alone. Taeyong sees Doyoung jump a little when Jaehyun comes into the room. Hopefully his friends hadn’t given him a hard time, but judging by the way Doyoung is shuffling in his seat, they must have. 

When Taeyong told them what happened, and when he couldn’t deny it’s Doyoung he fell for, they both almost threw a couple chairs out the window. If it wasn’t for Taeyong’s ability to keep them in check and calm, furniture definitely would have ended up needing to be replaced. Jaehyun was more visibly angry upon finding out, Johnny was too but his manager side kept him from having outbursts. Taeyong can’t blame Jaehyun though, his father has always been quite strict, moving Jaehyun as a kid back and forth from different schools. He wasn’t allowed to keep any friends until Taeyong came to the company and Jaehyun’s father approved enough to let them hang out and visit each other. Taeyong was Jaehyun’s first friend, his only until introduced to Johnny as well. It must hurt him a lot to see his best friend dying for someone else and not being allowed to do anything. 

Johnny leads Doyoung out of the room and returns, pulling another chair over to the bed while Jaehyun sits in the other one. Taeyong smiles at them, he can feel another tickle in his throat but it’s small and he’s able to hold up a thumb to them while he coughs up a single petal. Although his lungs are burning a bit, Taeyong is happy. 

“How was your talk?” Jaehyun grumbles. 

“It made me happy, thank you, for bringing him.”

Johnny laughs, “It was all me Taeyong, Jaehyun had to leave before he punched the guy.”

“Johnny!” Jaehyun exclaims, shoving the taller in the shoulder. “I still let you bring him here, I just couldn’t do it myself…” Taeyong sighs and shakes his head, he leans forward and wraps Jaehyun in his arms. 

“Thank you anyways, I’m feeling a lot better.” Jaehyun releases his tension and falls into Taeyong’s hug, Johnny joins as well, his long arms reaching all the way around both of them. It’s a warm hug, healing. They stay like that for a while before the youngest, Jaehyun, complains about how weird hugging for that long is. Johnny and Taeyong laugh, Jaehyun might be an adult now but his inner child never really got to live freely so sometimes it comes out. 

Eventually their visit is over and the other two go back to work, leaving Taeyong to rest once more. He thinks about Doyoung before falling asleep, his smile staying the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Taeyong is a literal sweetheart and Doyoung is finally figuring things out and turning around. Also now we know why Jaehyun is so upset. Still, what's gonna happen next? 
> 
> Curious Cat for Questions: https://curiouscat.qa/SmithEAdin  
> And my twitter @ is SmithEAdin


	27. Chapter 27

It’s only about two days later but Taeyong is already returning to the studio to get back to work. As refreshing as sleeping for hours on end was, it makes him frustrated to be away from doing the work he loves. Johnny helped him create a lie to tell the company and other managers saying he got a little fever and was resting for a few days, possibly visiting his family. 

Johnny keeps glancing over at him from his spot in the driver's seat, he made it clear he doesn’t approve of Taeyong going back already but his job as a manager is how Taeyong convinced him to let him go. The same conditions are still to be kept though, Taeyong definitely isn’t allowed to go anywhere alone now without Johnny or Jaehyun with him. The only exception still being his dorm at night but they said they’d come over most nights and stay for a while. Taeyong’s hanahaki had worsened after the incident, but when Doyoung came and apologized and they talked for a while, it lightened up again. There will always be a constant irritating feeling inside his lungs but Taeyong has learned to deal with it well, it’s only painful when he starts to cough or feels the tingling in his throat. 

They arrive at the SM building and climb out, going to an empty studio first. Taeyong has to go over anything he’s missed the past couple days before starting on his own stuff. There thankfully isn’t too much but Johnny makes sure to point out every detail. Stretching through his boredom, Taeyong tries to do a bit of choreography but decides it's better to still wait a few days before starting. The heavy weight inside his chest aches, having grown and shrunk dramatically in the past few days. 

“I’m going to go get some water,” Johnny announces. 

“Okay,” Taeyong responds absentmindedly. When Johnny doesn’t leave, he turns to see him waiting expectantly. “Oh, right, I forgot.” Johnny shakes his head but drags the blonde haired boy out to the hallway with him, stopping at the water station and filling up a bottle. Taeyong entertains himself while waiting, playing with the fake plants leaves. Someone clears their throat and the two look over, facing a manager and behind them, a fidgeting Doyoung. Taeyong immediately straightens up and waves to the singer who tentatively raises his hand back. Johnny greets the manager. 

“Can we speak for a second?” Doyoung’s manager asks, politely nodding to Taeyong after Johnny. 

Johnny nods and leads the way to an open seating area within the floor. The four sit down, Taeyong perching happily down next to Doyoung on the couch. The younger readjusts a little but doesn’t move away. 

“What is this?” Taeyong asks. 

The manager begins to explain, “For a couple weeks now the company has been requesting for you two,” they point to Taeyong and Doyoung, “to do a collaboration together. Doyoung kept saying he wasn’t sure since his schedule for the coming future was still being decided, but just the other day he brought up wanting to do it. Of course you’d have to agree as well.”

Taeyong turns to Doyoung and can’t hide his smile, “Really?” Doyoung looks over and blinks a couple times before swallowing and slowly nodding his head. Taeyong throws his arms around Doyoung’s shoulders and shakes the boy happily. Doyoung pushes him off, but does it gently while looking away. Johnny begins to discuss the arrangements with Doyoung’s manager, comparing Taeyong’s schedule and going over details. The two artists are left out of the conversation, having only each other to talk to.

“This wasn’t out of nowhere by the way.” Doyoung clears his throat and begins to rub his knees. “The company has been asking me ever since the photoshoot.”

“I know,” Taeyong coos, amused at how Doyoung is rocking back and forth, “They were on me about it too but I said I’d be ready to do it whenever you were.” Doyoung turns his head, eyes widened. 

“You…” His dumbfounded expression reminds Taeyong of when a bunny stares into headlights. Taeyong scrunches his nose as he laughs quietly, he loves it when Doyoung is shocked at something. 

The two managers pull them into the conversation and after about forty minutes, everything is set. SM has always let their top artists be free creatively so there aren’t too many pre arrangements or restrictions. Once Doyoung’s manager stands to leave, Taeyong glances at Johnny with a pleading expression. He sees the conflict in Johnny’s eyes, he knows what happened the last few times Taeyong got out of sight. Taeyong bites his lip and widens his eyes, begging with a single look. Somehow it works and Johnny sighs while standing.

“Get to work you two.” With those words, Johnny balls his fists and strides away. Left alone, Doyoung and Taeyong turn to one another. 

“So-”

Taeyong evilly makes happy noises as he grabs Doyoung's wrist and pulls him off the couch, leading him to his studio. 

“Let’s make a song together!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's start today off light shall we :)


	28. Chapter 28

Doyoung sucks in his breath as he lets Taeyong drag him into the studio. He wonders what he’s got himself into, Doyoung had thought about it after his talk with Johnny. He’s not sure about how he feels, but he’s going to try and figure it out. Doyoung is the only one who can help Taeyong right now, maybe writing a song with him will help them both. 

Taeyong releases him and hops over to a shelf with stacks of binders in it, he starts to pull them out one by one, throwing piles of music behind him and filled notebooks. 

“What are you doing?” Doyoung finally asks, taking a seat by the mess. 

Taeyong only briefly pauses to look back before resuming his searching. “I’ve written tons of duets for a rapper and singer, most are incomplete though so we can just use them as a base. They’re all stored here, I have a couple in mind that will suit us best.” 

“T-taeyong,” Doyoung stutters, he can’t believe all of these shelves and binders are filled with song ideas, all written by Taeyong. His talent is truly insane. 

“Wait I think this is it?” Taeyong reaches up towards the top shelf but stumbles back a bit, grimacing as he lets out a cough. Doyoung’s nerves spike and he immediately shoots up, placing a hand on Taeyong’s back to steady him. 

“I can get it, I’m taller anyways,” He pushes Taeyong aside and grabs the binder, pulling it down and handing it to the older boy. 

“You’re not that much taller than me,” Taeyong pouts as he accepts the item. 

“Doesn’t matter, I’m still above you,” Doyoung crouches down and scans over the countless sheets thrown on the floor. He sticks his tongue out. “Can’t you be a little more organized?” Taeyong meets his level and starts to gather up some of the papers, making various piles of them. 

“Sorry, I usually keep things in order,” The blonde haired boy sits back and happily reads through his work. Doyoung picks up a few pieces as well, his jaw drops reading the first few lines. The lyrics are seriously astounding. Some tell stories, others make you think, and most all have a flow that's unique. 

“How do you write all this stuff?”

Taeyong shrugs, “I’ve been writing since my teens, when something happens I tend to translate my feelings into lyrics.” 

Doyoung looks back down at the papers, if these were all of Tayeong’s experiences, how much had he gone through? 

“Ah,” Taeyong throws the papers in front of him away and sits back, “Maybe we should just start from scratch. It’ll be our song so using something old of mine isn’t special.”

“Okay,” the younger places the files he’s holding back in a binder, “Should we choose a theme first?” Taeyong thinks, his large dark eyes drifting around the room. Doyoung raises an eyebrow waiting for the man to respond, but all he gets in response is a random “ohhhh” noise. 

Doyoung sighs, “Not helpful, but whatever. First, what times can we both work on it?”

Taeyong answers this question, “I still have a few activities left for my mini album but my afternoons and nights are free.” Doyoung nods as they set up a schedule for the upcoming weeks. Most of their work sessions will be late nights in the studio but that’s fine, Doyoung is used to spending most of his time in a practice room writing. Although usually it’s spent alone. 

Once their schedule is worked out, they bring their attention back to the song they’re supposed to write. Doyoung tries to get a brainstorm of a theme started but Taeyong has no ideas so they spend most of the time shifting through the papers to try and get inspiration. Soon, hours have passed and Taeyong receives a text from Johnny. Doyoung peeks over to see while Taeyong frowns down. 

“He’s reminding me I have other activities to do, sorry Doyoung.” Taeyong stands and puts several of the binders away, Doyoung helps him. 

“It’s okay, I have other work as well. We’ll pick this back up tomorrow.” He reaches up and sets the last binder back in place, then turns and finds Taeyong with his hand outstretch. Doyoung blinks at it for a few seconds before shaking it. 

“I’m looking forward to working with you,” Taeyong beams, his eyes smiling along with his lips. 

“Me too.” Doyoung holds onto Taeyong’s hand for a bit too long and hurriedly stuffs his sweaty palms inside pockets once separating from Taeyong. The older waves on his way out, but Doyoung calls out, “Hey Taeyong, next time I’m in a studio, can you knock before coming in?”

Taeyong spins his head, “Of course!” Then, he’s gone behind the door. Doyoung breathes a sigh of relief, hopeful that this time the boy will listen. As he collects his stuff, Doyoung’s phone dings. A multitude of messages from Jeno are displayed. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Jeno [ o_o ]**

DOYOUNG

BRO

WE HAVEN’T HUNG OUT IN AGES :((((

When are you free?

Jaemin has a bit of solo activities to do so I’m lonelyyyy

We’re a duo yet the company still makes us do things separately a lot ;-;-;-;

Pls hang out with me

;-;

**Doyoung**

Lol calm down

You and Jaemin are always together time apart will be good for you

Remind you that you’re your own person

And sorry but I have a lot going on, I’ll check for when I’m free though, I miss hanging out with you too

**Jeno [ o_o ]**

Didn’t your collab just end?

What are you busy with .-. 

**Doyoung**

…

I may or may not be making a single with Taeyong

But don’t tell anyone yet

**Jeno [ o_o ]**

WHATTTTT?!?!?!?!?!

WITH TAEYONG

LEE TAEYONG???

I thought you didn’t like him?

**Doyoung**

That wasnt…

I don’t dislike him

I was just annoyed at some things he did but I’m okay with him now

://

We’re kind of friends now,,,

**Jeno [ o_o ]**

OMG

Doyoung finally made a new friend! Officially!

Jaemin will be so proud

Especially since it’s Taeyong lol

**Doyoung**

You two better not tease me about this

I WILL cut off your food supply

And you’ll never have access to my fridge ever again

**Jeno [ o_o ]**

Lolol dw

All jokes aside I really am happy for you!

A collab with your new friend!

You two are like a power duo in music

I’ll be waiting quite impatiently for this one

Uhh, wait… Is it going to be something like what he did with Ten… 0-0

**Doyoung**

NO WAY

We haven’t decided yet

But it won’t be something like that

Now leave this alone, I’ll send you which days I’m free

_________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like they're going to be spending a lot more time together. Let's breath and smile for a bit :)
> 
> Any questions? Here's my curious cat:  
> https://curiouscat.qa/SmithEAdin


	29. Chapter 29

His bed is tempting, but Doyoung’s thoughts are racing once more, preventing him from falling into any type of rest. It’s right about now that he’s regretting his decision from earlier, he actually has to write a whole song with Taeyong, release it, and probably perform it too. This isn’t just a small activity for fun, he’ll be spending countless hours with him and the public will see their work. In such a short time Doyoung has gone from avoiding Taeyong to planning his days with him. 

It’s to help him, that’s what Doyoung repeats in his head. The reassurance is nice, but the reality is Doyoung has no clue what he's doing. He’s never sure of anything, what if this backfires and only hurts Taeyong further?

He can’t even truly help Taeyong. The only way for Doyoung to save Taeyong is to reciprocate his feelings, but Doyoung doesn’t know if he can do that. 

Doyoung has never known what he wants or feels. The one time he thought he was sure, it turned out to be a huge mistake of his. All he does is mess up around other people, that’s why he’s always avoided making new friends. Doyoung knows he’ll always just let them down, and this time his shortcomings could mean life or death. 

“I really don’t know anything, I’m useless,” Doyoung groans and flops onto his bed. He buries his head in the pillows and shuts the lights off, hoping for answers in the morning. 

…

Of course Doyoung arrives twenty minutes early for their work session, he turns on the lights of the studio and snuggles into his hoodie on the couch. The AC is acting up again, this time causing the room to turn cold. Doyoung brings out several journals and his laptop. A couple lines and lyric ideas scattered between both, he gets working writing some more down. 

Within fifteen minutes a light knock comes at the studio door and Doyoung looks up to see Taeyong waving through the window. He signals back to enter and Taeyong comes into the studio, hopping next to Doyoung on the couch. Taeyong holds drinks in his hands as well as a backpack behind him, he hands one of the cups to Doyoung as he sits. 

Doyoung inspects it, surprised, “What is this?”

Taeyong pulls out his own laptop. “I got you that tea you drink.”

“Wait really? How did you know what I like?” He blinks continuously in disbelief. There’s no way Taeyong remembered all the way back to that one time in the cafe, right?

Taeyong shrugs, “I remembered what you got at that cafe.” He takes a sip of his own drink with the name “Tyong” scribbled on the side. Doyoung lifts up his drink and checks for his name, he tilts his head upon seeing “Doie” written across it. Doyoung scoffs.

“I see you remembered this nickname too.”

“What?” Taeyong is giving an innocent face but Doyoung doesn’t fall for it. 

“You used Doie, just like at the party. Whatever, I don’t care.”

Taeyong backs up, a look of genuine panic on his face, “I just made that name up when I was getting the drinks…” That’s not right, Taeyong definitely called him that at the company party, he remembers distinctly it being repeated. A realization hits Doyoung and he can’t control the laughter that escapes. 

“Oh my god.”

“What? What?” Taeyong frowns but it just makes Doyoung laugh harder. 

“Taeyong, do you remember what happened at the company party?” He watches in amusement as Taeyong bites his lip.

“Not everything, I mean I remember some things from the beginning,” Taeyong tries to make it seem less embarrassing but it’s not working, “Anything after when you left the table I don’t know. Jaehyun explained most of what happened but he definitely left a lot of things out. It’s not my fault, I just can’t handle alcohol well!” This boy has to be the biggest lightweight Doyoung has ever met. Taeyong’s ears turn red and he covers his face, turning away from the laughing singer. 

Eventually Doyong stops his teasing and they decide to get to work. Taeyong opens his computer and pulls up a couple tracks that he played around with for them to use as samples. Doyoung is impressed by every single one, when did he have the time to do all of this? He knows Taeyong gets excited about work but does he always do this much? 

As they listen to another slower sample, Doyoung’s eyes climb up to view Taeyong who is resting his head back and listening without watching. He looks so peaceful, his eyebrows rested, shoulders relaxed. Taeyong’s side profile, which used to make Doyoung boil inside, now makes his breath catch. He still feels roughly the same when around Taeyong, but now he’s certain that churning inside is not hatred. 

Taeyong shuffles a bit and the song ends, Doyoung immediately snaps his head away and waits for the next sample to play. Once Taeyong settles again, he finds himself focusing his attention on the older’s chest which rises and falls with each breath. 

How Taeyong is holding in so much pain, Doyoung doesn’t understand. Every time he’s seen him performing or when they work on the song in the studio, Taeyong has never once shown a hint of struggle. Occasionally, a cough or two will slip, he’s breathing will pick up or he’ll rub his chest and neck. Yet on and off the stage he maintains a smile, laughing when he gets shy or finds something really cute. 

Doyoung hopes Taeyong is taking care of himself, that he’s sleeping well and monitoring his hanahaki. It’s not just his friends who are worried, if other people like his family or his fans knew, they’d probably be freaking out right now. Doyoung’s stomach turns and he shuts his eyes. Taeyong has thousands of fans, and a family, his sister, parents, and friends. If he can’t help him, all those people that genuinely love Taeyong will be beyond devastated. All because Doyoung doesn’t know anything about himself. 

“Are you okay?” Taeyong places a hand on Doyoung’s shoulder, the music is paused as well and the screen tilted down. 

“Yeah, just got lost in some thoughts.” There's a silence between the two, Doyoung wants Taeyong to play some more tracks so they can move on. 

Taeyong does not move one, instead he slowly speaks his next words in a tender tone, “You can trust me. You don’t have to tell me anything but I want you to know I can be there for you, you don’t have to keep everything inside and let it hurt you.” 

Says the one keeping the flowers growing inside him and killing him a secret, Doyoung thinks. 

His words sound familiar though, as if Taeyong’s gone through something similar before this instance. Doyoung doesn’t know why but he somehow feels comfortable around Taeyong, and something inside just urges him to let it out. 

“I’m just never sure about anything in my life,” he confesses. Taeyong takes a deep breath in and lays back, spreading his arms on the back of the couch. 

“It’s hard to be certain of anything,” Taeyong voices. 

Doyoung shakes his head, “I mean, it’s more that I can never figure out uh… where I am in things. Do I enjoy this activity? Can I actually accomplish this goal?” He changes the questions a bit from what his actual thoughts are about, but they serve the same purpose. Taeyong nods his head. Doyoung looks away, feeling guilty for opening up, Taeyong doesn’t need to hear about his problems. He’s literally the one causing all of Taeyong’s problems and pain but now he’s throwing his own baggage on him. Doyoung wonders when he’ll stop being such a mess up. 

Taeyong looks over at him, his face gone handsomely serious. “Things take time to be sure about, to make decisions on. Maybe you think, since everyone else makes up their mind quicker, that you have to do the same when really you don’t. Go at your own pace. You can figure it out on your own, or you can have someone to help you along the way.” 

Go at his own pace? Taeyong is dying right next to him yet the boy is telling him to take his sweet time deciding if he can save him or not. Ironic. Taeyong doesn’t know what Doyoung is really talking about though, he doesn’t even know that Doyoung is aware of his hanahaki, and Taeyong’s feelings. 

Doyoung’s heartbeat suddenly picks up as he realizes he and Taeyong have been doing nothing but looking at one for the past minute. This whole time all he’s been thinking about the situation is just the hanahaki, he pushed aside the fact that Lee Taeyong has a crush on him. Oh god, the Lee Taeyong...likes him? Doyoung doesn’t think it’s possible for anyone to fall for him, but the blonde haired rapper sitting next to him in a cartoon bear t-shirt is somehow proving that wrong. 

His words though, they comfort Doyoung. Maybe anything Taeyong said would have made him feel better, he hasn’t had anyone be willing to listen and give advice. Jeno checks up on Doyoung alot but he’s never shared too much with Jeno, Jeno has Jaemin to share with and vice versa. Doyoung doesn’t want to bother them with his problems, and his brother rarely responds to his texts anymore. For this first time in the longest time, Doyoung actually has someone to sit with and let some of his troubles out safely. 

Thank you, Taeyong. 

“We can get back to work if you want to move on,” Taeyong suggests, Doyoung regretfully nods. He’ll be okay. Taeyong reopens the laptop and switches over to a document for them to start writing some lyrics in.

For the rest of their time in the studio, the two artists focus on their song together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still enjoying it? I hope so! :)
> 
> I'll posting a few more chapters today btw


	30. Chapter 30

Taeyong leans over as he coughs up another petal, this time with another leaf. He falls back and massages his scratched up throat, dryly wheezing a few more times. Once he’s sure it’s calmed down, Taeyong flushes the rose petals down the toilet and washes his hands. Thank goodness no one else has learned about his hanahaki yet, he doesn’t want to worry his fans, and Taeyong is especially glad Doyoung hasn’t found out. When he walks out of the bathroom, Jaehyun bumps into him. 

“Oh sorry Taeyong,” he looks behind the older at the bathroom door, “what were you doing in there?” 

“Peeing, are you really that interested in my bodily functions?” Jaehyun gives him a look of doubt but drops it. 

“I’ve been looking for you but you weren’t with Johnny.” Jaehyun crosses his arms. “Want to explain why you weren’t with him even though we all agreed for you to be monitored by one of us at all times so you aren’t found out?” 

Taeyong pats his shoulder to calm the boy, “I was with Doyoung.” A million different expressions flash on Jaehyun's face as he processes that sentence. 

“What?” Jaehyun almost screams it but he lowers his voice and grits his teeth. 

Taeyong sighs, “Let’s hang out and talk okay?” Jaehyun grumbles a bit but lets Taeyong drag him away by the waist like a baby. They sit down in a closed off common area where prying ears aren’t around. 

“So you’ve been spending time with Doyoung?”

“Yes,” Taeyong doesn’t deny it, he proudly states his answer which only irks his friends more. 

“Why,” Jaehyun angrily spits out, “he’s only hurting you. And he could find out.”

Taeyong shakes his head, “We were requested by the company to make a song together, that’s why we’ve been spending more time together. Besides, I can suppress it when he’s around.”

“I don’t care, he’s hurt you both emotionally and physically, even if the second is indirectly.” Jaehyun is furrowing his brows and bobbling his head around, his dimples are showing from not a smile but a frown. 

“Listen Jaehyun,” Taeyong uses his serious tone, “Doyoung came and apologized, which you know about, I accepted his apology and now he’s trying to actually be my friend. He is putting in an effort to amend what he said, without knowing about the hanahaki or doing it because of that. This is a chance before things get worse, please let this be.”

Jaehyun stays silent for a while, not looking up. He can tell the boy heard his sincere words. 

Finally, he speaks, “Is this really how you want it? Will you not… will you really not consider getting the surgery?”

Taeyong takes a deep breath, but answers with no doubts. “My decision hasn’t changed. This is how I want things to go for a while. Nothing will happen the way it should if Doyoung is pressured, or if I don’t try and get closer to him. Maybe later on if things get really bad will I consider a surgery, but,” Taeyong shakes his head, “I’d rather live a life feeling love than have to suffer without it.” 

Physical pain is something Taeyong can deal with, he usually hides it for his job anyways. Seeing Doyoung makes his day brighter, and he’s always noticed the way the boy puts others first while keeping respectful boundaries. Taeyong can’t help but melt upon seeing Doyoung’s kind eyes stare into his, it’s the way he hides so much behind them but always presents his best self. Chasing after him was like having a school crush, but it was when they shared conversations over food and talked in the makeup room that Taeyong felt like he’d found someone to be natural around. He has Jaehyun and Johnny, and of course he can be himself around them, but with Doyoung something is different. 

Taeyong still isn’t quite sure what made him fall for the boy exactly, if it was a specific detail like how adorable he is when frustrated, how he never treats anyone like they’re lesser, or how he always seems to know exactly what he wants. It may have simply been because both their hero’s are their siblings and that’s something important to Taeyong, or because Doyoung reminds him of a glass box that should be handled with care. Taeyong wants to give him that care. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” Jaehyun chokes on his words, tilting his head back. The hurt in his voice makes tears pool in the corners of Taeyong’s eyes, he grabs his friends hands and squeezes them. 

“I’m not going anywhere right now. I was the one who fell fast, Doyoung needs time if he does end up liking me back. Please trust me Jaehyun,” Taeyong gets him to meet his eyes and smiles. The younger slowly nods his head, eyes still sad. Their hands separate.

“How do you know Doyoung isn’t faking trying to be nice, maybe he’s just trying to cover up what he did?”

Taeyong disagrees, “The time I’ve spent with him recently tells me he is sincere, you can tell when he really means something. His eyes lower and he’ll rest his tongue on the side of his mouth, his hair will move along with his head’s shakes and Doyoung’s voice becomes emotional, like when he sings.”

“I asked a simple question, I did not need a full analysis on his every move!”

The older laughs, bowing his head in apology, “Sorry, I got kind of carried away.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes and sighs. 

“But I guess if you really think he’s sincere, I can accept this again, for now,” Jaehyun voices. They don’t say anything for a while after their much needed talk is finished. Taeyong is happy Jaehyun is respecting how he wants to handle his life. 

Taeyong laughs quietly, “This whole thing is really messy.” It started with Taeyong getting drunk and embarrassing himself in front of Doyoung, then developing hanahaki, and Doyoung yelling that he hates Taeyong. Taeyong guesses it might have ended up being easier if Doyoung actually did hate him and never came to apologize, then he might have considered the surgery a bit more knowing everything was a lost cause. Doyoung did apologize though, and explained he doesn’t feel that way. The way he truly feels is what Taeyong needs to know, but for now he’ll be patient. 

Jaehyun and Taeyong hang out for a bit long, their conversation dying down to more light hearted topics and such. No more mentions of hanahaki or a certain bunny singer are made, a nice break for both the boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Jaehyun was still really worried...
> 
> Hmm the next chapters are longer and full of surprises, do you want them soon? :)


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Very slight mention of homophobia/homophobes.

“Finally you’re here,” Doyoung stands as he greets Jeno. 

“Sorry, Jaemin and I were working on something before I came over,” Jeno explains. 

Doyoungs tsks, “Always with Jaemin. Don’t try pulling that ‘you’re both my best friends’ bull on me anymore because I have evidence.” He’s just teasing but the younger boy suddenly becomes shy. 

“It’s not… I’m not always with him. And I am close to both of you. I just, have a different kind of friendship with Jaemin.” Doyoung raises an eyebrow but sits back down and picks up a menu. They’re at his favorite hidden cafe, like always. Nothing better than having a quiet cafe hangout in privacy, it’s not that Doyoung doesn’t love his fans, he just likes to be able to enjoy a nice drink without worrying about his image. 

With their orders in, Doyoung sighs and rolls his head in a circle, releasing the tension in his neck. 

“Overworking?” Jeno questions, when Doyoung looks over he notices a mischievous look on his face.

Doyoung eyebrows indent. “What’s that look for?”

“Oh nothing,” Jeno snickers, “Just that I’m not the only one spending all my time with someone else.” After not having hung out for weeks, of course the first thing Jeno does is tease Doyoung.

“Yeah, because I have a job to do. Taeyong and I are…” Doyoung hesitates, if he didn’t know about Taeyong’s hanahaki this might not be as hard, “Friends, and coworkers.”

“Right, well Jaemin and I are ‘friends and coworkers’ too so fess up?”

Doyoung blinks, not understanding the humor of the younger, “What is that supposed to mean?” Jeno sighs and shakes his head, fiddling with the napkin in front of him.

“Nothing, just tell me about how your project with him is going. I’m interested to know how the famous Lee Taeyong creates all his masterpieces.”

Doyoung takes a deep breath, “Well for starters, he looks like he’s organized, but once he gets started he’s one of the most unorganized workers I know, the dude can’t even properly hole punch paper! I had to watch over him like he was a toddler. And don’t even get me started on how crazy he is, Taeyong literally created seventeen sample tracks before shrugging while throwing them in the trash! I really don’t understand him,” he frowns, “He’s got so many sides to him.” 

Jeno is resting his chin on his hand, nodding alone while listening. His face still looks mischievous but he faithfully listens while Doyoung explains every one of Taeyong’s working habits in detail. Eventually Doyoung realizes he might be boring Jeno with all these facts and apologizes, Jeno says it's okay but they change the conversation to something else. Their drinks arrive, Doyoung stares down at the same tea he always gets, reminded of how Taeyong memorized his order from so long ago. He subconsciously smiles down at it and sips it, enjoying the taste of his iced blackberry tea more so than usual. 

Halfway through their sit down, when Jeno receives a couple urgent texts from Jaemin and has to take a few minutes to make sure he’s okay, Doyoung’s mind can’t help but wander back to Taeyong. He circles his drink around in his hands, staring at the mixing violet color. Doyoung wonders if Taeyong's hanahaki has gotten worse in the past weeks, he still doesn’t know when it started but the fact that it’s already in stage two means it has to have come on at least a month or so minimum. 

When had Taeyong fallen for him exactly? It’s a question that has still been stuck in his mind for a while, he thinks back. It could have been about a month ago when his duet with Sejeong was released, before that maybe the photoshoot or the party… but it must have been sometime in between the release and the photoshoot. After Taeyong’s own music’s release was when Doyoung started ignoring him, did he already have it at the time they got drinks together? More questions pop up, one after the other all left without answers. This was becoming a common occurrence for Doyoung, but he doesn’t want to get used to having no answer. 

“Hey Jeno?”

Jeno lifts his head, half paying attention to Doyoung before glancing back down at his phone. “Yeah?”

“How do you know when you like someone?” 

The boy only shrugs, probably not processing what his friend just asked him. “It’s different for everyone.” 

“I know,” Doyoung sighs, “Do you at least have any examples?” Jeno looks up and stares at the ceiling for a bit, pursing his lips while he thinks. Once he thinks of something he nods his head and goes back to typing with Jaemin. 

“Well for me, I think I realized when I accidentally dropped ice cream on his shirt and Jaemin just-” Jeno stops, he doesn’t move. It takes a few seconds before Doyoung’s eyes widen and he covers his gaping mouth with his hand. Jeno looks over at him with a panicked face, shaking his hands in front of him. “Uh, that’s not… just forget that!”

Doyoung’s brain processes it fully, he’s quite shocked but quickly responds as soon as the pieces fit together. “Wait Jeno are you and Jaemin? Oh my god!”

“N-no, please don’t...” Jeno is clearly flustered, and he looks a little scared too. Doyoung realizes he might be afraid he isn’t accepting.

“Jeno wait, if you and Jaemin really are together that’s amazing! I was just a bit shocked, sorry if I scared you.” His friend’s face lights up. 

“You’re okay with it? Then I guess I can say that yeah, me and Jaemin are dating.”

Doyoung’s grin widens and he holds Jeno's neck under his arm, ruffling his hair a bit. “Dude, I’m so happy for you two! Why didn’t you ever tell me, you know you both can trust me?” He releases Jeno and watches as the boy rubs his neck and laughs a little. 

“It’s not that we didn’t trust you, I mean I was pretty sure you’d be accepting, Jaemin too, but you know how artists can’t publicly date. Even though me and Jaemin are a musical duet, that’s all we have to be to everyone else for now, which is fine. We have each other and while yeah, we can’t hold hands in public or anything, it doesn’t matter when it’s just us on a movie night in the dorms.” 

Doyoung nods, having a relationship and a career in the music business isn’t something many can pull off. Often you’ll get sent threats, and your partner too, about how one doesn’t deserve the other, it’s a disgusting pairing, you’re running your image with them, etcetera. With the unnecessary hate musicians get already from random antis, it’s hard to deal with even more being sent to you and your loved one. Plus breakups turn into scandals and everyone wants to know your business, so it’s better to keep it all in privacy because once people know you won’t have that anymore. 

There’s also the issue, in Jeno and Jaemin’s case, of part of the public especially not approving since they’re both boys. You can have countless supportive fans but all it takes is a few mad homophobes mass emailing the company and your career is gone. Those are some of the most disgusting people. 

“I understand why you’d want to keep it a secret. But I know now so,” Doyoung smirks and laughs, “Tell me everything.”

Jeno really does tell him everything, without sparing any details. Doyoung finds all of their stories so cute, from when they first confessed to each other and their first official dates, to nights when they would fight over which movie to watch only to both fall asleep halfway through. Seeing his friend as happy as this is the most refreshing thing to happen in the past few weeks. 

Doyoung hopes someday he can find someone as well. 

They finish up and go their separate ways, Jeno has to rush back to Jaemin who’s fighting with some stapler, while Doyoung walks back to his dorm slowly. On the way, he tries again to answer any of the many questions inside him. In what way does he like Taeyong? Doyoung laughs a little at himself, it wasn’t but a few weeks ago he was asking himself how much he disliked Taeyong. That all seemed like a fever dream, and now Doyoung doesn’t even remember what set him off in the first place. Taeyong isn’t that bad, he’s actually a really sweet person, inside and out of work. It wasn’t like he’d done anything to personally hurt Doyoung, all he did was make him get butterflies and get a little flustered. The guy is naturally beautiful, which is acknowledged by the whole general public so that was bound to happen. 

Then again, Doyoung remembers never getting flustered or shy around Sejeong when they danced, but that time he did the choreography with Taeyong. That time was different. 

Now that Doyoung thinks back, there were many times in his past when he thought he might be gay. He’d never spoken about it to anyone or specifically said it outloud, but many times in high school Doyoung remembers freaking out over a guy crush, but never feeling anything for any girls. When he started training more for his career though, he pushed everything relationship wise to the side, that included figuring out his sexuality. Bringing it back up, Doyoung realizes he had fully accepted the fact that he only likes boys before, and it’s not any different now. 

Doyoung stops his thoughts and just laughs at himself again, he shakes his head and checks his phone which has been vibrating with notifications. He smiles down at the messages he’s met with and taps a quick reply. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Tyong**

Doieee :DDD

Come over to the studio later tonight to work!

I know it’s short notice but I got some new ideas

Pls T.T

****  
  


**Doie**

Sure, but let’s not work too late. I need sleep

:p

**Tyong**

Okiee~

_________________________________________________________________________

Doyoung shuts his phone and brings up his mask to cover his smirk at the cute messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes the little bit of Nomin in this fic. 
> 
> Haha next chapter is an interesting one.


	32. Chapter 32

“I think it’s done,” Doyoung nods as the track they just finished making ends. Taeyong agrees with a head nod. They’ve been working for a couple hours now, trying to finish up the rough track. Early in the week they both decided on a mood for the song and thought creating the instrumentals for it first would be best, then they could write the lyrics to fit. Now with their satisfactory work, it would be sent to one of the producers for a bit of polishing up, based on notes they send in as well. 

“Okay, sent,” Taeyong states, he claps and closes the computer. “Want to start the lyrics now?” Doyoung is about to respond before his stomach answers for him with a loud rumbling. His face immediately turns a bit red as he apologizes, Taeyong just laughs at him. 

“Sorry, I still haven’t eaten so we’ll have to start tomorrow.” Doyoung reaches for his stuff but pauses. “You ate beforehand right?” This boy better be taking care of himself or else Doyoung is going to have to treat him like a baby again. 

“Not yet…” 

Doyoung pouts, of course he didn’t take care of himself, Taeyong always ends up putting work before self care. “It’s too late to go out and get food,” Doyoung states. They both check the time, knowing Doyoung is right anyways, but the 8 o'clock only furthers their hunger. 

Taeyong thinks for a second then speaks, “Do you know how to cook?” Doyoung nods. “Okay good, then we can just cook something quickly in my kitchen.” The older boy smiles and claps, already packing his stuff up and heading for the door. Doyoung is still processing. 

“Wait, the kitchen at your dorm?”

A few coughs sound from Taeyong as he turns back and answers, “Yeah, I already have a bunch of stuff there so we don’t need to worry about getting ingredients. We can even just heat something up and add to it. Are you coming?” He looks at Doyoung expectantly, Doyoung isn’t sure and licks his lips a couple times, considering. The rumbling of his stomach once again makes the decision. 

“Alright, but we’re both going to cook okay, I don’t want to end up doing all the work?” He packs up the rest of his own stuff and follows Taeyong, who skips out of the building. 

When they arrive at Taeyong’s dorm building it brings a sense of remembrance to Doyoung who can recall holding open the door while Taeyong was dragged inside. He holds in a laugh as they head up the elevator to the 5th floor, Taeyong bobs his head to the elevator music next to him. The older boy makes some weird noises too, but Doyoung is used to them now and actually finds it a bit cute. As the door to Taeyong’s door is opened Doyoung marvels at the setup. He walks into an open area with a small seating area and a tiny dining table in the corner, next to this first part on the right is a surprisingly large kitchen. To the left a small hallway with a bedroom door and bathroom, and the third door is probably a closet. Despite Doyoung’s own dorm being quite similar to Taeyong’s he’s still impressed at it’s size and cleanliness. 

Taeyong immediately heads for the kitchen and pulls out some things onto the counter. Doyoung joins him after his observations. 

“What do you want? I have different types of ramen… yeah that’s the quickest stuff I have besides some dinosaur chicken nuggets in the freezer,” Taeyong says it so naturally but Doyoung accidentally lets a small laugh out at that last part. It’s very Taeyong to have dinosaur chicken nuggets. 

“Any of these are fine, and I don’t mind cooking them on the stove and adding some ingredients.”

Taeyong snaps and points at him, suddenly making Doyoung’s insides flutter a bit, “That’s exactly what I was thinking. It’s boring to eat it like this, if we add some chopped vegetables and cook it specially it’ll taste more professional.”

Doyoung reaches over and grabs the ramen he wants, rolling his eyes at the same time. “Something can’t taste more professional, it can taste better.”

“Same thing,” Taeyong pouts, stretching dramatically in front to pick up the ramen cup he wants. Doyoung sticks out his tongue while the other isn’t looking but retracts when he looks back. Taeyong grabs pots for the two of them and fills them with water, while it boils he also gets out some green onions, mushrooms, and a couple other ingrediants. The two get to work and start slicing the vegetables into tiny blocks. 

“Do you want mushrooms?” Taeyong asks. 

“Yes please,” Doyoung hums. They work in silence for a bit until Taeyong steps away and coughs a couple of times, he washes his hands before returning and acts like nothing happened. Doyoung gets a little worried and continues to glance over and makes sure he’s doing okay. He tries not to make it too obvious though and hides it between other motions like stretching his neck. 

Taeyong suddenly stops his slicing of the mushrooms and steps back, his breathing has picked up and Doyoung sets down his own knife. Before the younger can make a move though, Taeyong smiles and grabs his phone. 

“I have to go make a quick call, you keep working. If the water boils, you know what to do.” His words are a bit choppy, speaking through clenched teeth. Doyoung wants to help but Taeyong dashes out of the room and into one of the hallway’s doors before he can say or do anything. The doors must be sound proof because Doyoung doesn’t hear a thing, it starts to make him believe Taeyong really did have a call to make. When the older boy returns though, looking a little more disheveled than a few seconds ago and having a faint aroma of rose petals about him, Doyoung knows. Taeyong looks exhausted and hungry and tired.

“You can sit and wait for the rest of the time, I can handle it.”

Taeyong frowns, “What? No I’ll help it’s okay-”

Doyoung places his hand gently upon one of Taeyong’s broad shoulders. “You let me come here and eat your food, this is what I should do. We’ve both finished slicing the vegetables so all that's left are the noodles and the plating. That’s easy, sit back and relax.” 

The older boy tries to protest again but Doyoung rolls his eyes and pushes him down into a chair, Taeyong stares off into space after being shoved down and doesn’t say much more. Doyoung scoffs and gets back to work, adding in the noodles to the boiling water and occasionally stirring. They chat as the food gets closer and closer to being done, and soon Doyoung is diving up their portions. He gives Taeyong a larger serve. 

“I can’t eat this much,” Taeyong whines, 

“Yes you can, and you will. Who knows how many meals you’ve forgotten while working the past few days. Don’t waste any.”

Taeyong stares up at him from across the counter, “And if I don’t finish it all?”

Doyoung tilts his head and stares him down, “I worked hard on that, don’t make me force feed you.” They glare at each other for a few seconds until Taeyong’s laugh erupts in short breaths and he leans back a bit. 

“It’s okay, if you made it I'll eat it all. Come sit,” Taeyong slides his bowl closer and motions to the seat next to him. A warm buzz travels throughout Doyoung’s body as he places himself next to the blonde haired boy currently slurping up his noodles. He takes a few seconds to watch from the side, gently smiling at how Taeyong is enjoying the food, then digs into his own bowl. 

They mostly eat in silence, besides a few comments from Taeyong exclaiming how much he loves it and complimenting Doyoung on his cooking skills. After finishing the main sustenance, the two talk for a while and laugh while telling stories from their past. Doyoung almost chokes on the broth he’s sipping when Taeyong tells him a story of when he fell into a cactus on set. He laughs a while at that one, of course only Lee Taeyong would be the one to roll off a couch and land directly on the plant, he apparently even apologized to the cactus for a full minute which is even more his style. The atmosphere of their steaming meal and dull lighting as it darkens outside helps Doyoung relax, and it apparently makes him comfortable enough to respond when Taeyong asks why he tenses up at the mention of Ten. Taeyong had started on about the time when he and Ten made the song “Baby Don’t Stop” and Doyoung subconsciously pauses, trying to hide his discomfort. The older notices and immediately stops to ask if everything is okay. 

“Yes I just,” Doyoung hesitates, even Jeno doesn’t know much about his history with Ten. He sighs, “When I first joined the company a long time ago, before I released anything, Ten and I would always train and hang out. We were close, even if alot of what we did was fight and tease each other, but once both our careers started we stopped communicating with one another. Every encounter after that was awkward or dull, we don’t even say hi when passing in the building…”

Taeyong puts his utensils down and cocks his head to the side, “So suddenly?” 

Doyoung shrugs, taking another sip of his ramen’s broth. “Doesn’t matter, It’s in the past now.”

“Yeah but,” Taeyong frowns and thinks, his hand resting on his chin. “If you were close then there’s no reason you can’t be friends again?”

“I think if I tried it wouldn’t go well. A lot of silence, and not the comfortable kind.”

“How about this, since I hang out with Ten and the other dancers sometimes you could tag along too, then maybe it wouldn’t be as awkward,” Taeyong offers. Doyoung licks his lips and turns to face Taeyong, he doesn’t have to do that for him. Could he really find a way to talk with Ten again through Taeyong? At first it was an annoyance the two were close, but everyday the things Doyoung used to find annoying about Taeyong are turning into small blessings. Well, everything besides his habit of entering without knocking but since he mentioned that, Taeyong has been making sure to knock and ask every time before entering. 

“Would that really be okay…”

Taeyong beams and rubs the nape of Doyoung’s neck, “Of course!” Doyoung can feel himself tensing up a bit at the initial touch, but the massage of Taeyong’s frail hands on his neck is soothing. He still pushes Taeyong’s hand away and looks away from the grinning boy, a little flustered at his kindness. It’s a little saddening though, Doyoung can’t tell if this kindness comes from who Taeyong is or from the fact that Taeyong’s dying for him. 

“Thank you.”

Once their bowls are truly empty, Doyoung gets up and washes their dishes. Taeyong joins him, despite Doyoung stating he can do it himself and the two stand side by side over the sink, scrubbing their bowls and pots. 

With everything cleaned up Doyoung thanks Taeyong and makes for the door. The older tries to offer and walk him to his dorm building but Doyoung refuses, saying it’s not too far and he’ll be okay. He doesn’t want to trouble Taeyong anymore than he already has tonight. 

Taeyong stands in the door, waving to Doyoung as he heads into the elevator. Doyoung turns around once he’s inside and just as the doors are shutting, his face heats up. He swears he sees Taeyong blow a kiss but with the elevator doors closing on his view, he can’t tell if that’s what actually happens.

A small part of him hopes it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff! This counts as that right? I did tag both fluff and angst so you don't need to worry, there will be plenty of both. 
> 
> Did you like this chapter though? Thank you so much for reading, we're getting closer and closer to the end!
> 
> P.S. I don't know how to cook well so if they did it wrong... 0-0 just ignore that.


	33. Chapter 33

It’s another day of Doyoung working with Taeyong in the studio, papers sprawled on the floor while their track blasts from a computer not too far away. While they write and compare their lyrics together, Taeyong has little coughs often and Doyoung notices every single one. He’s tempted to place his hand on Taeyong’s back every time, to comfort him, but he’s not sure if that might make it worse so he refrains most times. Doyoung remembers how Taeyong still isn’t aware that he knows of his feelings and the hanahaki, so he does his best to cover up any suspicion. 

“Are you okay, you keep coughing today?”

Taeyong doesn’t look up but takes a few seconds to respond, “I’m fine, sometimes the air conditioning in these practice rooms makes my throat dry.”

Doyoung nods, “I know what you mean, you should drink tea to help soothe it when it gets like that.” His attempt is complete, and he feels accomplished getting to baby Taeyong as well. Everyday his worries of the older’s health increases, but all he can do is hope Taeyong isn’t in too much pain. He wants to help Taeyong, but he still doesn’t know if he can. 

A knock sounds on the studio door and Doyoung cranes his neck up from his work to see Jeno and Jaemin waving in the door frame. They don’t step fully inside but Doyoung can see their mischievous expressions as they greet Taeyong. 

“Hello Jaemin, Jeno. What brings you here?” Taeyong asks, motioning for them to enter. Jaemin shakes his head to say it’s okay. 

“We came to check in on how you and Doyoung are doing on your song. Doyoung rarely tells us anything anymore,” Jaemin starts. Doyoung can tell he’s about to be teased for some reason. 

Doyoung gives his famous fake laugh, “It’s going well, you can be on your way now. We have a lot to do still.” 

“The song is coming along, we’re working on lyrics right now,” Taeyong ignores him, answering the question himself. 

Jeno nods, stepping forward a bit, “That’s nice. I hope he isn’t causing you too many problems Taeyong, he tends to be a bit fussy about certain things.” Doyoung wishes he could slam the door in their faces as they giggle from across the room, but Taeyong is sitting right next to him so he holds it in. 

“He does complain a lot,” Taeyong laughs. 

“Hey!” Doyoung sends a look to the rapper next to him, who instantly apologizes and laughs nervously. Jeno and Jaemin do not apologize as they continue their teasing.

Jeno speaks first, grinning, “You look like you are having fun.”

“Maybe that’s why Doyoung only hangs out with Taeyong these days, even when he’s not working the only thing he talks about is you,” Jaemin finishes and Doyoung just about dies right there. He swears to kill them after today, and finally stop buying them food. His face is bright red and he turns away from Taeyong, burying his face in some papers. This is not fair, he doesn’t always talk about Taeyong, he’s just always on Doyoungs mind. He can’t see Taeyong right now but he can hear him laughing beside him, a clear sound he’ll always recognize. 

“Is that so? Sorry to steal him away from you two,” Taeyong remarks. 

Doyoung thinks it can’t get worse, but as soon as he makes eye contact with a smirking Jeno he knows he’s done for. 

“It’s okay. You can have him. I think he likes you better than us anyways.” With their last kill, Jeno and Jaemin shut the practice room door and cackle down the hallway. Doyoung is left with an even redder face and hardly any breath. 

He manages to regain himself a little. “J-just ignore them. They’re young kids, they say weird stuff.” Taeyong laughs at that and nods, fortunately then moving on. When Doyoung looks back up over at him, he notices his ears are a little red too. 

Moving on from the sudden visit, Taeyong and Doyoung compile their lyrics and read over their own copies, annotating and making changes. As Doyoung reads over one part of Taeyong’s rap, he wonders what’s hidden behind it. It seems far too personal to just be inspirational or an attempt at sympathy for another’s situation, it feels real, and Doyoung can tell. When they first began the lyrics, this was one of the biggest parts that started off their writing. Deciding a theme was taking too much time, but suddenly after this first section the lyrics poured out. They could bounce one line after the other and have an unspoken connection between each line, the theme didn’t need to be said aloud for the song to come together.

Doyoung keeps reading those lines over and over again. 

_ I’m actually a kind bastard, I just act tough _

_ Get hurt alone when there’s no need for it _

_ I came to this point running crazy on pointless pride _

_ Poisoned by the burden to make it so no one could look down on me _

_ Always telling myself I’m strong, I won’t be overcome _

_ Telling myself; don’t you have a dream? _

He can’t quite place it but there’s a familiarity in these words, a feeling he can connect to. 

“Taeyong,” he hesitates, “These lyrics, can I ask what their meaning is?” Taeyong lifts his head, their eyes meeting. He has a soft look, but when he glances at the lyrics Doyoung is currently holding out, his face turns sad. 

Taeyong brings in his knees to his chest and takes a deep breath. “Those lyrics… there’s a story there,” he laughs a little but it sounds sad. Doyoung inches a bit closer, ready to listen. “I feel comfortable telling you this, and you might already know anyways, but back when I first started making music I wasn’t as confident, which made it easier for people’s words to affect me. They still do…” Taeyong rests his eyes on the ground, Doyoung shuts his eyes for a second when he remembers the time he yelled out. Doyoung will never forgive himself for that, even if Taeyong reminds him occasionally that it’s past them. 

“Some of my past mistakes were brought up, stupid comments I made back in school, misunderstandings from my childhood, things I’ve regretted doing my whole life. So many people hated me, I didn’t know how to apologize enough to them, and even after I really tried to fix my mistakes and took care of them, the hate continued. I deserved a lot of it, so I thought I could handle it but it really...” Taeyong chokes a little, Doyoung is afraid it’s the hanahaki but when his friend looks over there're a few tears in his eyes. “A lot of what people said hurt, and it all felt like my fault. It was, even if there were others who said I wasn’t to blame, I was still the one who did those things and though the hate went beyond criticizing me for those instances, I couldn’t help feeling like I deserved it. In the end, the little confidence I had was shattered.” Doyoung waits, still listening while Taeyong pauses and closes his eyes. 

“It died down, for a little while, but every so often a mass of hate would be thrown at me again, without me even knowing why. I tried to find out but the more I looked, all I saw was comments saying I couldn’t rap or sing or write, I wasn’t worth anything and should just… leave the company. Give up my dream.”

“Taeyong,” Doyoung finally speaks, devastated by everything Taeyong is saying. He reaches out and gently takes the older boy’s hand, Taeyong squeezes it and looks over at him with teary eyes. His heart begins to hurt seeing the boy in more pain. 

“But I got through. I may play the ‘mad man’ on stage but I know how sensitive I am. I guess that makes me stronger, because I actually care about other people and how they feel. And I’m grateful to those who helped me get through those times. My friends, my sister, my family, my fans, my music, all of it gave me the courage to step back on stage and do what I love. They brought me happiness and peace of mind. Of course there will always be people hating what I do, I’m sure you’ve seen your own fair share, but I can block them out now. I don’t need their opinions, I have plenty of my own about myself.” Taeyong is no longer crying, but instead shining. His words convey exactly what he’s feeling, and even Doyoung can sense it from where he’s seated. So this is why Taeyong has always looked so confident, he had built it up. 

Their hands part. Taeyong’s eyes linger on his now empty hand. 

“You made it through all that, I honestly always thought you were someone who never had to struggle in what you did because of how stable you present yourself. You naturally attract so much attention… I’m glad you had people there for you.” Doyoung thinks back to all the times he accused the world for being unfair, claiming Taeyong never had to work to gain popularity. He earned it all through his hard work, but it wasn’t just the love from his fans he attracts, Taeyong has so many haters too and he does his best to deal with them. Doyoung shakes his head at himself for ever making an assumption without knowing who Taeyong really is and what his life is like. 

Taeyong takes a deep breath next to him. “Is that why you… thought you hated me?” He barely speaks the words. Doyoung is a little put off by the question, but he knows he should answer truthfully. 

“I think so. I was jealous for no reason, I blamed you for being perfect.”

“I’m not perfect though, I have my flaws and I make mistakes,” Taeyong states it so clearly, and Doyoung meets his eyes. He stares into Taeyong’s large eyes, filled with tears containing the sadness and pain he’s remembering. Doyoung’s heart almost stops, he may not be able to heal Taeyong’s physical pain, but he can be there for him through any emotional hurt. 

Doyoung reaches out and wipes the fallen droplets from the older’s cheek, Taeyong holds his hand against his cheek and presses his face into it. The younger allows it, seeing the pained expression ease up on Taeyong’s face. Between their silence there is healing, and for once in the longest time, Doyoung doesn’t feel alone. He takes his hand back eventually and Taeyong cleans himself up, but when they stare back down at the lyrics they’ve written, the words peering up at them feel different. It will be stronger now, their bond. With the song that is. 

The rest of the work session is a bit quiet but neither wants to leave, until Taeyong’s phone buzzes from a plethora of messages. He laughs, explaining how Johnny and Jaehyun are making sure he goes to bed earlier nowadays. They both pick up their things, but before splitting ways, Doyoung takes a deep breath and lays his stuff down. Doyoung envelops Taeyong in his arms, and at first the older panics but Doyoung holds him close, whispering for him to return home safely and he is hugged back. The hug lingers a little too long, before Doyoung gets flustered at himself and quickly dashes away, into the dark of the night. 

+++

Taeyong does not move for a solid five minutes. He watches the younger boy race off after separating from their hug. Taeyong cannot believe the night he’s had, sharing pretty much everything about his past, crying in front of Doyoung, and Doyoung comforting him. It all felt content though, and natural to talk like that with him. Maybe that’s just how he feels but Doyoung didn’t seem awkward at all with the conversation, he was the one who questioned the lyrics after all. 

Finally able to process it, Taeyong happily skips back to his dorm and flops on his bed. He brushes aside the small rose bud he coughed up that morning. He was in a rush and didn’t have time to properly chuck it in the trash. The pain inside his chest has slowly increased, and long nights of him constantly coughing up petals have plagued his week. Taeyong wishes he was able to spend every night in the studio with Doyoung, just the two of them in each other’s company, but with the hanahaki worsening there were many times he had to cancel. 

Making up excuses and lying to the one he loves is painful, more so than when the leaves scratch the inside of his throat or when his lungs cry out from their space being invaded. Taeyong would text Doyoung and tell him something else came up or he was too tired to focus on those nights. Really he was spending time playing animal crossing while mediating his breathing and trying to force the tickle in his throat to be rid of sooner. 

The hanahaki is only worsening. So far, Taeyong has not coughed up a full flower but he feels that may be the case soon. Right now there’s only bright red petals in bunches and leaves from the stems, thankfully covered in nothing but some spit. 

Even with it getting worse, it’s nothing Taeyong cannot handle, especially since the feeling of being around Doyoung can always ease his agony. The world buzzes a bit around the boy, and his gummy smile, his true smile, is the cutest thing in the world, nothing compares. His little laugh is something constantly playing in Taeyong’s head, it keeps him smiling even through the worst of the aching. Seeing him flustered too, that’s Taeyong’s biggest joy, when they’re bickering over something he can’t help but laugh at Doyoung’s face going all serious over the smallest things. There’s really nothing he can’t love about Doyoung. 

He stopped listing all the reasons why he fell so hard weeks ago, but with every reason Taeyong’s smile only grows and his insides flutter. He hugs his stuffed animal close and shuts his eyes, seeing images of their times spent together in his mind. Taeyong doesn’t care that he has hanahaki, if this is how love makes you feel, then he never wants to get rid of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics in this chapter are actually ones Taeyong wrote in his song "Piece of Mind" which he and Doyoung performed as rookies. The original lines are obviously in Korean so these are just a rough translation I found. I wanted to write and use my own lyrics but that didn't turn out too well lol. 
> 
> Also wow this chapter went through a roller coaster of different moods. Hm are you prepared for the next one though? I don't think so.


	34. Chapter 34

It’s recording day, the lyrics and track were both finished and polished up a week ago. When Taeyong enters early in the morning with sleepy eyes, he finds Doyoung already sitting on the couch. He’s swaddled up in a large grey hoodie, wearing those same cute glass frames again and concentrating on something on his phone. When he notices Taeyong though, he puts it away and waves. 

Taeyong walks over and holds out the hot drink in his hand. 

“What’s this?” Doyoung questions while using his eyes to scan it up and down. 

Taeyong rubs the back of his neck and laughs a little, feeling shy, “It’s some hot tea, for your throat.” Doyoung bursts out laughing, but he holds up a hand and grabs something with his other. It’s a steaming cup, similar to the one in his hand, and Taeyong’s heart drops as he thinks Doyoung must have already gotten himself something. 

“I got you this tea for the recording,” Doyoung smiles and swaps the cups in their hands. Taeyong blinks down at him, way too caught up in the fact that the other got him something. 

Doyoung tsks and pushes his drink closer, “You should drink it before it gets cold. Oh, and you might want to smell it first to see if you like it. If not I can just buy you another.” The younger takes a sip of his own tea and rests his arm not holding it on the back of the couch. Taeyong brings the cup up to his nose and sniffs it, he happily grins at the smell of honey and chamomile. “I’d say that means you like it. Good.” 

Smirking, Taeyong sits himself down next to Doyoung and casually drinks the warm liquid. The honey in it coats his throat, soothing it’s lasting soreness from the countless things he’s coughed up. Resting his head on Doyoung’s shoulder, they study the music one last time before heading inside the booth. Doyoung goes first, and Taeyong gives him a little cheer as he enters. 

Observing the singer, Taeyong feels like he’s going through it himself. The boy sings with such emotion you’d think he’d have lost a partner and three kids. Taeyong almost believes the pained expression on his face and frowns, but reminds himself it’s just Doyoung being an ace at his job. Doyoung is really remarkable, and soon enough his recording is finished. Taeyong gives two thumbs up and high fives Doyoung, their hands interlocking and shaking in the air a bit after. 

“You did so well,” Taeyong coos.

Doyoung settles back down on the couch and nods his head sheepishly, “Thank you, good luck on your recording.” Taeyong enters the recording studio next, taking a deep breath as he puts on the headphones. He has to angle the mic down a bit more, and he sees Doyoung laugh through the window. Taeyong smiles, but focuses his attention on the recording director. Throughout his time in the studio, his eyes often wander over back through the window and towards where Doyoung sits. Technically he could have gone elsewhere at this point before continuing his part, but for some reason the younger stays. Taeyong catches Doyoung staring, a blank expression on his face with widened eyes, but once their gaze meets between the glass, the younger shifts his head away. It makes Taeyong’s heart happy every time. 

After his first part of recording is finished, Doyoung greets him with a pat on the back and hands him his tea. As they wait for the recording director to signal for the next session, Taeyong and Doyoung wait together on the furniture. Doyoung reviews his lines and practices a bit while Taeyong simply watches him. There isn’t a more beautiful sight than when Doyoung sings, it’s clear how much he enjoys it. Taeyong hopes Doyoung can sing and make music for the rest of his life, enjoying what you love is all that matters in life. 

The director calls for Doyoung again and he heads in, yawning. Once again Taeyong can’t help but stare over at him the whole time, pulse rushing every time their eyes meet, except he doesn’t look away. When Doyoung emerges from his recording, his eyes show that he’s tired and he starts to pack up his stuff. 

“Since I’m done, I’m going to go and rest. Do you need me to stay?” Doyoung asks. 

Taeyong, although sad about it, shakes his head. “It’s okay, you should go and take a break.” They part ways and Taeyong’s eyes follow Doyoung as he leaves the studio. He reminds himself they’ll get to see each other later again but a sadness still pulls him down a bit. Taeyong chugs the last of his tea, successfully coating over the small tickle in his throat and goes in for his last recording. 

…

Johnny and Jaehyun are waiting for Taeyong as he steps out of the studio. They really hadn’t let go of their promise to always be watching him, only when Taeyong is with Doyoung do they let him out of sight. Of course, the second Doyoung is gone they’re always be right there. 

In moments like these though, he’s extremely grateful for his friends. He always loves them, but as he lets out a couple coughs and gives a signal that he’s about to hack something up, it reminds him of how lucky he is to have them. Immediately, Johnny and Jaehyun rush him off into the bathroom, checking to make sure it’s empty and comfort him when the hacking starts. 

This time it really hurts, and with every cough his entire body beats against the force, his lungs screaming for air. Even Johnny’s hand soothing his back doesn’t ease any of it, it’s seriously wounding. Tears wells up in Taeyong’s eyes and his vision starts to go a little black. He leans forward even more, clutching his chest, wishing he were dead instead. The tickling is no longer a tingling but a spike, lodged in his esophagus, slowly climbing up. It’s lack of speed and sharpness claws at Taeyong’s insides, he just wants it to be over. 

Once it is, he can hear Johnny gasp next to him, but Taeyong has to wait for his blurry vision to settle before witnessing. There’s an entire rose before him. A full flower. Every petal cluttered together to create the usually beautiful object, but now it’s a horrid site. He doesn’t immediately see it, but drops of blood coat the flower as well, blending in with the bright red color. Johnny pulls him in a close hug and cautiously calls out to Jaehyun. When the youngest sees it, he starts to shake, containing his emotions. 

Taeyong can’t say anything, his throat stinging and lungs aching. Tears just keep falling from the shock of the pain, all he can do is nestle his face into Johnny’s chest and keep quiet. Johnny calms him with soothing words and rubs his back slowly, helping his wheezing breaths to steady as well. Behind them, Jaehyun slowly picks up the flower. He stares down at it with disgust and desolation before crushing it in his palm and chucking it into the trash. Taeyong looks up, Jaehyun has a few tears but he wipes them away and turns his head upwards upon their eyes meeting. 

Johnny holds him in front of him, “Taeyong, I think you need to tell the company. You can’t… you can’t keep putting yourself through all this pain. We can keep it on the down low, make an excuse, but I don’t want you performing like this.” Taeyong shakes his head with tears, he needs to perform, he needs to perform with Doyoung. It’s okay, only the filming and photoshoots are left, then he can worry about it. 

“Please,” he barely manages.

“No,” Jaehyun speaks from behind the two, “Johnny is right. Listen Taeyong, I know I said I’d accept how you wanted to do things but this, this could actually kill you now. I think we’ve all been sort of ignoring that fact but for heaven's sake Taeyong! You’re already on stage three, who knows when it’ll get to the last stage and then-” Jaehyun can’t even finish what he’s saying, he holds back more tears. 

“Say it,” Taeyong grits his teeth, “Say it Jaehyun. Yes I could die. I told you I came to terms with the fact I might die. I just need a little more time, please.” Taeyong’s throat is burning but he still speaks each word clearly. He’s trying to be strong, but the tears don’t stop. 

“Taeyong…” Johnny brings him up from the floor and steps back a bit, Taeyong looks at his friend, he’s crying as well and avoiding eye contact. Johnny, the tall kind giant in his life, his manager and one of his best friends, rarely cries, so seeing him like this… Taeyong feels guilty. His friends must be hurting like he is, uncertain of whether or not their friend will survive. They’ve been worried and anxious for him since the beginning and he hasn’t done anything to ease their fears, only made it worse by refusing help. Taeyong can’t help it though, but he wishes he could take their pain away, he doesn’t want to see anyone hurting. 

“I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry.” 

Jaehyun looks at him sincerely, a softer, but still pained tone in his voice speaks, “Consider getting the surgery?” Taeyong doesn’t meet his eyes. After everything he’s put them through, he can’t hurt them anymore. He remembers his sister’s tears, how she was curled up on the floor barely breathing because of how worried she was for her friend. He can’t do this to them anymore, he loves them just as much as Doyoung. Taeyong only wishes he doesn’t have to choose. 

“I..” He starts, Johnny takes his hands. “Just give me until the song releases after that… if things are still the same, I’ll get the surgery.” Taeyong closes his eyes at the words, his heart practically ripping in two thinking about giving up his love for Doyoung. The first time he’s ever fallen in love, but it’s not just some first love. It’s Doyoung. It’s his smiles, his little dimples he gets when laughing. It’s the way he shows affection for his friends by always buying them food no matter how expensive. It’s Doyoung who puts everything into his songs and never leaves out any emotion when singing. It’s the Doyoung who always is making sure Taeyong is eating well and taking care of himself, getting sleep and not staying up late playing animal crossing. The past weeks only made his love for him grow, but maybe it made the hanahaki grow too.

Taeyong’s friends envelop him in a hug. 

“We can agree to that Taeyong. I know it’ll be hard if you have to get the surgery, but we’ll be there for you during and after,” Jaehyun announces. 

Taeyong sniffles “I know you will, you’ve always been there for me. Thank you, I love you two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry but it might start to hurt again :/
> 
> Ah thank you so much for reading! I thank you all a lot but I feel like it's not enough! Seriously, thank you for all the comments and kudos and for following the story.
> 
> The rest of this might actually be posted today so i recommend getting any thoughts out now before we get closer to the end.


	35. Chapter 35

“Doyoung!” Doyoung turns around to see a large figure with someone else briskly walking down the hall towards him. Once they get closer, he straightens up as Johnny and Jaehyun come to stand before him. 

“Are you busy right now?” Johnny asks. 

Doyoung shakes his head slowly, “Not really, I was just working in the studio by myself and was going to grab a drink-”

“Perfect,” Jaehyun starts pushing him down the hallway and towards the building’s stairway, “Let’s talk.” 

“Hey, wait,” Doyoung tries to protest but Jaehyun shoots him a look and Doyoung immediately shrinks within himself and follows. His hair sticks up, the look in Jaehyun’s eye reminds Doyoung of that day in the studio, when they first told him everything. Doyoung keeps his head down, knowing he’s probably done something wrong. 

Johnny and Jaehyun take him to some manager’s lounge on the third floor, Doyoung’s never been there but it requires a keycard and no one else is inside. They push him down into a chair and sit across in their own seats, arms crossed. Doyoung keeps his eyes on the ground, scared to hear what they have to say. 

Johnny speaks first, “Doyoung, please relax. Jaehyun and I agreed we wouldn’t yell at you, but we do need to have another talk, do you know what it’s about?” Doyoung has a vague idea, it’s about Taeyong, and probably the situation too, but he still shakes his head left to right. 

Jaehyun sighs. “Listen Doyoung, Johnny and I are really worried for Taeyong. His hanahaki has now progressed into the third stage.” Doyoung snaps his head up. Has it really gotten that bad this fast?. Doyoung thinks about it all the time, honestly Taeyong is the only thing on his mind now. He’s constantly aware he’s hurting him, Doyoung hasn’t been able to rest easy since he found out. Taeyong hides his pain, so Doyoung has never known how much he is in pain, but it doesn’t matter, he’s still responsible for all of it. 

“I’m sorry…” Doyoung can’t say anything, how is he supposed to explain how much he reminds himself about it every waking second. About the countless hours he spends trying to find a way to fix it, researching any other way to heal someone’s hanahaki only to end up realizing there’s no other way than the three options. Then feeling guilty because he doesn’t know if he can save Taeyong, and he might be the reason for his friend’s death. 

“Is that all you have to say?” Jaehyun clenches his fists, Doyoung still does not look up. 

Johnny joins the conversation, “Honestly we don’t know how much you’ve been thinking about this. I know you’ve been spending more time with him but if you’re actually making any effort to help him, it should be now. It has to be now.”

“He’s agreed to get the surgery before stage four so you better do something soon if you truly don’t want that.” Johnny elbows Jaehyun at his mention of the procedure. 

“Please, give me more time,” Doyoung frantically asks with tears in his eyes. He dares not to lift his head. Why does it hurt so much knowing Taeyong is willing to remove his feelings? It’s only fair, if Doyoung still doesn’t know his feelings or if he figures out he can’t save Taeyong, then Taeyong has the right to remove his suffering. Honestly, it’s still surprising to Doyoung that he didn’t already get the flowers taken out. It doesn’t make sense why he would hold onto someone like Doyoung. 

Johnny sighs and stands, “You two… let’s go Jaehyun. We’ve said enough to Doyoung. He has a little time left, our warning will hopefully be enough.” Jaehyun rises and shakes his head, leaving with Johnny. Doyoung is left alone and he flips his neck up, stopping the tears. He can’t cry here, he shouldn’t even be, Taeyong and his friends are the ones hurting. He’s the one causing all the pain and anxiety in their lives. 

Doyoung takes a deep breath and collects himself, he leaves the building. His dorm is a better place to think, it’s warm unlike the studio’s cold air conditioning and there’s no one around to walk in on him. He shuts the door to his room behind him and sighs, releasing his nerves with a shaky breath. 

He wants to protect Taeyong, and deep down he knows he can. Taeyong is his friend, but he’s too afraid to admit anything else. Doyoung doesn’t want him to feel pain anymore, physical, emotional, mental, he wants to tell Taeyong that he promises to be there for him. Somehow, these thoughts and feelings still scare him, he’s never felt them before. Taeyong forgiving him is probably the luckiest thing to ever happen to Doyoung, if he realized all of this later on, his whole life would’ve stayed it’s boring, lonely pattern. 

Tears end up falling, but Doyoung ignores them. With his head full of thoughts, the singer keeps himself busy with other things, but still works on slowly accepting the fact if he doesn’t act soon, he could lose the best thing in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No notes for this one, but here's my curious cat if you have questions for me:
> 
> https://curiouscat.qa/SmithEAdin


	36. Chapter 36

_________________________________________________________________________

**Doie**

I’m outside your building, come open the door for me 

:p

**Tyong**

Coming~

:D

_________________________________________________________________________

Doyoung taps his foot while waiting for the rapper to come and let him into the building. With their song file finished and sent, Taeyong had asked if they could listen to it at his place, kind of like a small listening party. Except it would just be the two of them. 

Taeyong comes down one minute later and holds open the door for Doyoung to enter. They greet each other and ask about their day on the way up to Taeyong’s dorm. Doyoung takes a deep breath as he walks into the warm place, filled with Taeyong’s essence and life in it. 

“I already ordered us takeout, it should be here soon. You can get settled on the couch and I’ll set up the laptop,” Taeyong states. He gets busy with a couple things in the kitchen, washing a couple things and getting drinks for them.

Doyoung does as Taeyong suggests and positions himself on the couch, leaning back in the soft cushions and observing the room. There’s a small table in front of him with Taeyong’s sticker decorated laptop closed on it, a couple coasters too. Beside him are large plush cartoon dog characters, he chuckles a bit and places one gently on the ground to make space for Taeyong. 

“Hey, what alcohol do you want?” Taeyong shouts from the kitchen. Alcohol? Doyoung wasn’t aware they would be drinking.

“Uh, anything is fine. Are you sure you should be drinking though?” Doyoung only asks because he remembers the company party, and escorting Taeyong home. He hears Taeyong laughing from the kitchen.

“I won’t drink too much, I promise. It’s a special occasion anyways.” Taeyong brings their drinks over, water and alcohol, and snuggles into the couch. Doyoung raises an eyebrow but let’s it be, he’ll just make sure to monitor the older boy’s intake. The computer is opened up and after Taeyong types in his long password several times, the file for their completed song is pulled up. 

Doyoung puts his hand on Taeyong’s arm to stop him before he plays it. “You ready?” Taeyong takes a deep breath, looking into his eyes and nodding. Together they press the play button and let their masterpiece ring. Besides a few comments throughout, the two stay silent to listen to their work. All of the emotions, experiences, hours spent together behind it are evident. Bittersweet sentiments, Doyoung is extremely happy about their work and satisfied with it, but he also is reminded of how throughout the entire time they worked on it Taeyong has been in pain. He’s in agony right now, hiding it, thinking Doyoung doesn’t know. Taeyong really cares more about Doyoung than his own life and Doyoung has never been able to wrap his head around that. 

The song finishes and Taeyong claps, he looks over at Doyoung and grins. 

“We did a good job.” 

Doyoung is weak for that smile and his heart skips a beat, he responds, “Yes we did.” 

The delivery arrives and Taeyong steps out to retrieve it, leaving Doyoung reeling from his feelings. He catches his breath and calms his beating heart before the older returns with the food. 

Setting it out on the table, Taeyong asks, “Should we watch a movie while we eat?” Doyoung shrugs, already putting some of the food in his mouth. Taeyong sits down and pulls up Netflix on his computer, Doyoung laughs at the little bear that’s his icon. “What?” Taeyong pouts.

“Why do you have all this cute stuff?” He points to the icon and the dog plushies. 

“It’s because they’re cute that I have them,” Taeyong huffs. 

“You’re cute,” Doyoung means to say it in a teasing way but it comes out a bit more sincere than he intends. He licks his lips nervously and turns back to the computer screen, “Let’s choose what to watch?” Taeyong takes a few seconds to turn his head away from the younger and towards the scrolling movie section. His ears are a bit red but Doyoung tries to convince himself it’s just from the alcohol. After fighting for a bit on the genre, they choose a romance drama movie and sit back to watch. The takeout is cleared through and Taeyong lays back happily, sipping at his alcohol. He rests his head against Doyoung’s shoulder and Doyoung glances down, of course Taeyong’s neck is already red and his eyes look heavy. 

Taeyong shifts his eyes from the movie up to meet Doyoung’s stare, inside Doyoung is screaming but he doesn’t look away. The warmth in Taeyong’s eyes keeps him gazing down at him, there’s a softness in his look, something kind and comforting in the way he’s staring. Taeyong’s hand reaches up slowly and brushes against the side of Doyoung’s mouth, right where his scar is. Today he put less foundation on to cover it, just because he didn’t go into the studio but now he’s regretting that. Doyoung can feel his face heating up, if Taeyong keeps staring at him like that his impulses might react before his brain. 

“You’re beautiful.” The fact that Taeyong says it while gently rubbing over his scar on the corner of his mouth makes every cell inside Doyoung’s body disintegrate. 

Doyoung freaks out and lifts his head up, he grabs the alcoholic drink in Taeyong’s hand and lays it on the table, far away. 

“I think you’ve had enough to drink.” Taeyong whines and sits up, trying to reach for the drink but Doyoung holds him back and pushes it even more out of reach. Doyoung rolls his eyes and pushes the older’s head back against his chest, caressing it. Taeyong stops fighting and exhales, resting his weight onto Doyoung’s body. The two don’t say anything as they continue to watch the rest of the movie. 

It isn’t until the movie is almost over that Doyoung realizes Taeyong is being quiet because he has fallen fast asleep, right on top of his chest. Doyoung blinks down at the older, not quite knowing what to do. He looks so peaceful, his chest raising slowly with each steady breath, his soft hair falling slightly over his eyes. Disturbing this peace would be shameful, but Doyoung will need to move eventually, for now he’ll wait until the end of the movie. 

Doyoung doesn’t watch the rest of the movie though, instead he finds himself looking down at Taeyong the whole time. He feels nervous, like making one move will shake the precious person on top of him. This hot feeling though isn’t just from nerves, right now Taeyong is so close. It’s comfortable yet uncomfortable at the same time and for the first time Doyoung can hear his heart screaming clearly. 

He likes Taeyong. 

Like, like-likes Lee Taeyong. He adores him, Taeyong’s kindness and complete trust in him. The boy’s insane talents, yet the way he always stays humble and appreciates all of his supporters, and how he always shows his emotions clearly and isn’t afraid of them. Taeyong puts others before himself, which can be annoying sometimes, but that’s why Doyoung wants to take care of him. Maybe he’s decided too soon, but honestly it wasn’t hard to befriend Taeyong like he thought at first. In the beginning, Doyoung thinks maybe he was driven crazy by Taeyong’s looks, something similar to a small crush. He wasn’t able to recognize that and so he blamed Taeyong for his own emotional blindness. Now Taeyong is the reason he can decipher his feelings for once in his life, and nothing has ever felt better. Well, maybe except when Taeyong told him he’s beautiful. 

Doyoung blushes at his own thoughts, he really does like Taeyong, and Taeyong likes him back. If not knowing before was scary, this is definitely more frightening to Doyoung. 

Credits for the movie start rolling and Doyoung sighs, knowing Taeyong can’t spend all night in this position. He can’t either. 

He slowly pets Taeyongs hair and whispers, “Wake up Taeyongie, you have to get to bed.” Taeyong shuffles a bit in his position, turning his body around and hugging Doyoung’s waist. 

“I don’t wanna move,” he mumbles. Doyoung takes a deep breath, hoping his face isn’t too red. He gently lifts Taeyong’s arms from around him and gets him to sit up with eyes half open. Doyoung stands but Taeyong doesn’t move, instead he coughs a little and almost falls back asleep on the couch. 

“Fine, I’ll drag you there myself.” Doyoung tsks and shakes his head but Taeyong reaches out his arms and the younger helps him to stand up. With Taeyong under his arm, the two make their way into the dorm’s small hallway and into Taeyong’s room. Doyoung scrunches his nose in disapproval, his sleeping quarters are a mess, a complete opposite from the open spaces outside it. There’s even some cartoon drawings on the wall, which are good, but Doyoung just shakes his head. Taeyong is like a little kid sometimes, not a bad thing, but it drives Doyoung insane. 

Laying Taeyong into his bed, Doyoung reaches down to grab the covers and tuck him in. When he brings them up, the older boy has shuffled into a fetus position. Doyoung laughs at the pose until he leans forward a bit and sees how Taeyong is clutching his chest tightly, his face showcasing some discomfort. He lets the silence take over and gently covers Taeyong in the blankets, placing a couple of his plushies next for him to hug during the night. Doyoung feels the guilt again, it comes in waves most of the time, and right now the moon is out calling for high tide. 

Taeyong is still hurting. Doyoung has realized his feelings but Taeyong doesn’t know. Johnny and Jaehyun are right, he needs to act soon, Taeyong has never deserved to be in any pain and he shouldn’t still be. Turning away, Doyoung whispers goodnight and shuts the lights off. He cleans up the food and closes the laptop, then he leaves a quick note and a glass of water with some pills for Taeyong to see in the morning. No doubt he’ll have a headache from practically getting drunk. 

Doyoung tells himself to never let Taeyong drink ever again and leaves the place in silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this while I go eat dinner and them come back to post some more.


	37. Chapter 37

Within the next few days Doyoung has no time in between photoshoots and filming to take care of his feelings. Instead the whole time is spent running around with Taeyong to places, taking photos, grabbing drinks, doing their job. Inbetween company activities they laugh and tell stories, listen to music and dance. They have fun.

There is a bit of nerves between the two, hoping the public will like the song as much as they do, and probably the unspoken worry at an approaching deadline. Throughout the week there has been an increasing amount of times Taeyong had to dash out suddenly or disappear with no explanation. He always apologizes after returning and gives a random excuse, Doyoung acts like he believes him and never question’s further. Taeyong still doesn’t know Doyoung is aware of his feelings, and his hanahaki, and he definitely doesn’t know Doyoung likes him either. 

At least at the end of one of their photoshoots Taeyong invites him out with a couple others. Usually it’s just him and Taeyong going out to eat after work but this time the dancers, Ten, Winwin, and Jisung would be coming too. Chenle, a producer in training under Kun, as well as Johnny and the artist Renjun would be joining them as well. Doyoung’s quite nervous for this outing, seeing as how he’s not used to hanging out in large groups but knowing he will have Taeyong by his side the whole time calms his shakiness. 

“You ready to go?” Taeyong asks through a couple weak coughs. Doyoung nods and hands him some tea he bought for Taeyong and they head out. Johnny joins them, he was waiting nearby during the shooting. He nods to Doyoung and they both sandwich Taeyong between them. 

As they walk and chatter though, Taeyong smoothly grabs Doyoung’s hand behind his back and squeezes it with his own. Doyoung doens’t question the motion and pretends like nothing is happening, but the way Taeyong isn’t getting flustered makes the younger think he might not even realize he’s doing it. His suspicions are confirmed when they reach the restaurant and Taeyong lifts his hand, nervously laughing as he releases Doyoung and panickly backpedals. 

They reach the back of the restaurant where a large table is set up and waiting for them, Ten, Winwin, and Renjun are already seated. Taeyong sits down next to Ten on one side and pulls Doyoung into the seat next to him, Johnny takes his place on the other side of Ten. Across from Doyoung is Winwin and Renjun, who he greets. He slowly turns to the direction where Ten is, his nerves and awkwardness already building up, but Taeyong gives him a reassuring look before tapping Ten on the shoulder. 

“Ten, I’m pretty sure you’ve met Doyoung before,” The older boy motions to Doyoung and Ten smiles, nodding. 

“Of course, we used to practice together all the time,” Ten waves to Doyoung and he smiles, happy that the dancer does in fact remember their old times together. “To be honest we haven’t gotten to hang out much these days due to our schedules and it makes me sad.” Taeyong shoves Doyoung a bit with his shoulder.

“It’s been unfortunate,” Doyoung says, hardly believing he’s actually hearing Ten say these words. In his past experiences, any friend he’d grown apart from never missed him or talked to him again. Not only is Ten actually talking with him but admitted he misses hanging out. Thank you once again Lee Taeyong. 

The last two arrive together, Chenle and Jisung take up the last seats on the other side of the table. Conversions come alive across the table, and with Taeyong by his side Doyoung easily speaks up and laughs at jokes. He even comfortably fights with Ten like in the old days and when he shares embarrassing stories from their training, Doyoung tells several back. Including the time when Ten confessed to being afraid of Johnny. Ten stops his teasing after Johnny stares at him in disbelief. 

“Your face when you’re mad is the only reason Johnny, I swear. Doyoung is exaggerating, I didn’t really mean it!” Doyoung laughs at the panicked Ten, but gets served when Ten glares at him, then smirks and continues to turn to Taeyong and share another humiliating story. He tries to make Ten shut up but Taeyong’s laugh and his hand on his shoulder catches Doyoung in a trance. The older’s smile has always been captivating, and today it’s all Doyoung can focus on. 

At some point, Renjun addresses Taeyong and Ten and requests for them to recreate their “Baby Don’t Stop Pose.” Doyoung tenses up and Taeyong nervously chuckles.

“Right now?” Taeyong questions, Renjun eagerly nods and so do the other’s on the other side. Doyoung is tempted to speak up but Taeyong glances over at him then evilly grins, leaving the younger speechless. “Okay then.” Ten and Taeyong wrap their arms around each other and move in extremely close to one another, their serious expressions turning on. Doyoung scoffs and covers his eyes while looking away, do they really have to do it that close. The familiar panicked laugh from Taeyong sounds a few seconds later and Doyoung turns back, the two are no longer 3 centimeters away but his blood is still boiling. He crosses his arms as the older makes eye contact with him, Taeyong just laughs at him which makes Doyoung soft again. 

The rest of their lunch together goes well, although there is a mini feet battle under the table between Doyoung and Taeyong which ends in a small bickering. Everyone else just laughs while they shove each other a bit, Doyoung likes to think he was the one who won after slinging his arm around Taeyong and making him go into a panicked state. 

The first to leave after paying is Johnny who has work to get back to, he tries to take Taeyong with him but the artist refuses and ultimately achieves his wish, getting to stay for a while. Chenle, Jisung, and Renjun leave next and soon after Winwin and Ten rise to get going. 

“Doyoung, it was good to talk with you again, you better wave hi to me in the hallways now,” Ten winks as he and Winwin say their goodbyes. 

Doyoung grins, “Will do.” The other two leave, Taeyong and Doyoung are now alone at the table. 

“We should start walking back too,” Taeyong says, coughing a couple times. Doyoung nods and waits for him to catch up before they exit the restaurant. 

It’s a nice day for a walk, so the two boys take their time getting back to the SM building. Taeyong even stops several times to pet dogs and fawn over them, he gets overly excited for each one they see and Doyoung realizes he has to drag him away if they ever want to make it back. Doyoung is observing a nearby playground when Taeyong tugs on his sleeves, he looks over and the older has his head down. 

“What’s wrong Taeyong?” 

Taeyong adverts his eyes and slows down a little. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Doyoung slows down as well, worried now. Taeyong raises his hand to his chest, then drops it.

“I’ve been disappearing on you a lot lately without much explanation.”

Doyoung exhales and lifts Taeyong’s chin with his hand, having their eyes meet. “It’s okay Taeyong, I’m sure you have your reasons. You’re not obligated to tell me everything, what you trust me with is your decision.” The older’s eyes sparkle under the sun. 

“Thank you,” Taeyong says sincerely. Doyoung nods, clearing his throat and looking away. He speeds up a bit but Taeyong doesn’t follow. “Doyoung, if I forget-” A ding comes from Taeyong’s phone just as he starts to speak again and Doyoung pivots to hear what he’s saying. The rapper pulls out his phone and his eyes widen, he motions for Doyoung to come see. When he peers over Taeyong’s shoulder, a message from Johnny is displayed. 

_________________________________________________________________________

Chicago Boy Johnny

The company set up for you and Doyoung to perform your new song the day after it’s released. Congrats! I know you two will enjoy this news ;)

Return quickly so the stylists can pick out your outfits. 

_________________________________________________________________________

Taeyong is practically squealing next to Doyoung, quite happy at the news. He shuts his phone away and throws his arms around Doyoung.

“We’re going to get to perform it live!”

Doyoung smiles down at him, “I can’t wait.” The two hurry back to work, eager to get their performance outfits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, jealousy. Doyoung's old friend.
> 
> It might seem a little boring right now, sorry :(


	38. Chapter 38

_________________________________________________________________________

**Tyong**

Send me a pic of your outfit! :D

I’ll send you mine

**Doie**

You don’t want it to be a surprise?

**Tyong**

Nooo

My patience cannot wait that long

Now send it!!!

**Doie**

Fine :p

But only bc i don’t want you spamming me with your whining

**Tyong**

# ❤️

_________________________________________________________________________

Taeyong coughs a little and hugs his plushie as he smiles at the photo Doyoung sends him. He sends his own outfit and the two go back and forth complimenting each other’s attire. Even though they’re a bit simpler clothing, thinking of Doyoung singing next to him while wearing a sparkly, dark, black and red shirt with velvet, deep blue pants already makes him flustered. 

He’s a little scared too. About his hanahaki. It’s only been getting worse at a much faster rate. With every rose he coughs up, there’s a reminder that Doyoung might never like him in the way Taeyong does, and that he might have to give up his love. A couple times when he spent nights thinking about it, the only thing that came were tears. He cannot let go of Doyoung easily, he’s never been just a crush. Taeyong has always seen a special and pure side to the singer, a caring side that he hides under his artist persona. The more they hang out, the more he can see it, and when he’s with Doyoung nothing else matters but the fragile bunny in front of him. 

Taeyong groans, he’s been able to hide the hanahaki well for all this time, but now he doesn’t know. It seems like the third stage of the disease has been moving quickly, and there might not be much time left before stage four. Thankfully, Doyoung never pries on his business or presses for a reason when he disappears, Taeyong wonders how the boy can be so tender all the time. The pain has become more constant, the weight in his chest increased, and the roses all come up with blood now. He doubts how much longer he’ll be able to keep up his appearance, in front of his fans, managers, and Doyoung. 

All he needs is a little more time. Maybe he can try and confess his feelings to Doyoung, but the fear of rejection has stopped him so far. Taeyong holds his dog plushie even closer to his chest and shuts his eyes. He’s been a bit more confident that Doyoung might like him back ever since the night they listened to the song. Even though he got drunk, Taeyong still remembers the moment he looked up into Doyoung’s eyes, their gaze unmoving while he stroked the younger’s face. In that moment Doyoung had never looked more beautiful and Taeyong had let the words slip, the haze of the alcohol breaking down his filter. Then it was over and all he knew next was falling asleep atop Doyoung and being dragged later into bed. 

Doyoung even left some water and medicine out for him with a note in the morning. Taeyong still doesn’t know if that means anything, the singer is a naturally caring person for his friends so he was probably just being nice. He takes care of Jeno and Jaemin the same way he takes care of Taeyong, making sure they eat, buying drinks, so Taeyong doubts any of it means anything. He wants it to though, he wants Doyoung to like him back so Taeyong can tell the boy how much he loves him and how hard he fell for him. 

...

The morning of the performance, Taeyong chucks two roses into the trash. His body feels weak, lungs aching and body already sweating from the strain of coughing vigorously. It’s the performance though, so he can’t miss it and he won’t. Taeyong washes up and arrives at the studio early, putting on a bright expression. He’s conflicted between the excitement of performing with Doyoung, but also the pain he doesn’t know if he can hide. Seeing a grinning Doyoung walk into the building eases his worries, it will be alright for a little longer if he has Doyoung by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wait.


	39. Chapter 39

Doyoung has never felt giddy before in his entire life. Okay, maybe that's a stretch because there were definitely a few times he was animated while hitting his brother with a pillow during their play fights. It’s more accurate for him to say, it’s been many many years since he’s been this happy or excited. The closet he’s gotten was when his first song was released and he got to perform it live. Now he’s about to perform live with Taeyong, the boy he likes, and the song is one they wrote together.

The song is quite special, besides just being written by the two. Taeyong put his own feelings and personal experiences from the past in, his growth, strength, and love for all the people who helped him through. While that was more evident when reading the lyrics, Doyoung also hid his own struggles in the song. Short lines telling of how for so long now he’s felt alone, like he no longer has someone special enough to call on a rainy night when he’s feeling down. It’s been like that since being separated from his family, but he’s always dealt with it. Throughout writing the song though, Doyoung realized there’s someone willing to be that person for him, and he’s just as willing to be that someone back to them. Whether it’s being a best friend or something else, Taeyong suddenly showed up and didn’t leave. It wasn’t like they’d know each other for years, but somehow the connection was instantly there. It was even there when Doyoung confused it for something else, but Taeyong has never given up on him. He’s taken care of him even with his own burdens and let him listen to his thoughts, given him affection without pushing Doyoung to give any back. Lee Taeyong is not perfect, but to Doyoung he is. Through their performance tonight, Doyoung hopes to show Taeyong that he’s willing to be the person he wants and needs, he’ll stay by Taeyong’s side and be who he can for the boy. 

“Wow,” Taeyong comments, a dumbstruck look on his face as Doyoung turns around in his seat. Doyoung’s own breath is taken away by the sight of Taeyong all dressed up in a silky silver shirt and velvet red pants, his makeup is stunning as well with pinkish shadow around his eyes and bold eyeliner. He’s wearing a thin black choker around his neck. 

“Not so bad yourself.” Doyoung rises from his seat and stands next to the older boy, both stare at each other then turn to the mirror for last checks. 

“Thirty minutes,” A stagehand yells out to them. They nod and walk over to a couch near the exit, sitting close to one another in attempts to ease their nerves. Somehow they get on the topic of their accessories and Taeong pouts as he points to Doyoung’s silver earrings. 

“No fair, you get cool earrings,” Taeyong complains. 

Doyoung scoffs, “Says the boy getting to wear a sexy choker.” Doyoung’s eyes widen as he realizes his words, but Taeyong just strokes his hand over his choker. 

“I think it would look better on you.”

“No way, only you can pull off something like that.” Doyoung shakes his head.

Taeyong suddenly sits up, “We should get matching rings!”

“What?”

“You know, like the customized ones that uh, best friends get,” Taeyong definitely changes that last part but Doyoung just smirks. 

“No way, I’m not going to give you my ring size anyways.”

The older boy’s pout makes an appearance again and he crosses his arms while coughing a few times. “Fine, whatever.” 

When it’s time to go on stage, Doyoung’s nerves begin to rise again. He and Taeyong wait anxiously backstage, doing last checks on their mics, hair, and makeup. Doyoung practices again and again, making sure he isn’t going to forget any lyrics. Taeyong does the same, practicing the rhythm and flow, he continues to cough a couple times but drinks water after every time and relaxes himself so they stop. 

The stagehand calls them to standby and they shoot looks at one another, walking towards the edge of the stage. As they stand side by side in the dark, Doyoung can feel Taeyong’s shaky hands by his side. He grabs one with his own and looks over at Taeyong, giving him a smile and a nod, the older takes a deep breath and the shaking stops. 

The announcer calls out their names, “And now Lee Taeyong and Kim Doyoung will perform their collaborative single ‘Piece of Mind.’” 

Doyoung releases Taeyong’s hand as they head out on stage and sit down on the two illuminated stools. 

Giving each other one last look, they sit before the cheering audience awaiting the start of their performance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready?


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They perform together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Blood.

As the rest of the lights dim and the music starts, Doyoung glances at Taeyong whose face has become the signature serious expression he shows on stage. Something about being on stage makes the boy shine even brighter, his handsome features being highlighted for everyone to see. Their performance starts and Doyoung instantly loses himself in the world around, he often does during stages. He pours every emotion he can into his voice, all of the hurt he’s felt and loneliness, but also the happiness and content he feels now with Taeyong. 

It’s exhilarating. He stares over at Taeyong, who’s giving it his all as well. The artist is sweating a bit heavily but his stage presence is insane, and the raw tone in his voice is unparalleled. If Doyoung hadn’t already fallen for him, he would have in that moment. Taeyong’s face is pained as he recites the lines Doyoung knows hold the most meaning. All of the hurt from his past, just like Doyoung, is poured into his performance. His makeup, his eyes, his outfits, his aura, it all sparkles under the lights of the stage. 

Taeyong is beautiful, and Doyoung cannot take his eyes off of him. His heart is crying, and leaping, he wishes to capture that beauty forever but no photo can ever do it justice. The shining light next to him pulls in Doyoung, their connection making it hard for Doyoung to control himself. He so badly wants to lean over and hold Taeyong in his arms, keep him close and protect him from everything. Stop his pain, comfort him. Give him love. 

Doyoung wants to love Taeyong. 

Doyoung does love Taeyong.

And Taeyong loves Doyoung too. 

Now, Doyoung can save Taeyong, he can be with him forever, he can hold him close and keep him safe. Doyoung can stop Taeyong’s pain, at least physically and he can’t wait any longer, he won’t wait any longer. 

Their song ends, Doyoung is still staring over at Taeyong when the applause happens, and Taeyong turns his head back, smiling like an idiot. Together they thank the audience and exit the stage, heading for their empty changing room to remove makeup. Doyoung is too overjoyed to notice Taeyong slightly limping and heavily sweating. Once they make it inside their room, Doyoung reaches out towards Taeyong. 

“Taeyong-” 

Before he knows what’s happening, Taeyong collapses in front of him, clutching his throat. Doyoung immediately drops down with him, trying to help him from hitting his head on the floor, his nerves spiking. “Taeyong! Taeyong!” The rapper starts wheezing, suppressing his breaths, he gives a weak look to Doyoung with tears in his eyes before releasing the pressure and starting to cough. 

His coughing isn’t normal, it sounds worse than it’s ever been and Taeyong’s whole body moves with each one. Panic sets in, Taeyong is barely breathing between each hack and one full flower is already on the changing room floor. Doyoung realizes what is happening and he’s horrified. This is the first time he’s actually seeing Taeyong suffering the full effect of hanahaki and coughing up flowers. Johnny and Jaehyun hid his view the first time, but if this is how it was then, Doyoung’s heart aches at the thought that Taeyong endured it for so long on behalf of him. Doyoung brings Taeyong’s shaking body into his arms, tears starting to fall, his own body shaking in fear as well. 

“Taeyong it’s going to be okay! Taeyong breath please!” Another rose falls down, dripping in blood and Taeyong starts to go limp, gasping for air. Doyoung can barely think, he just holds Taeyong closer to him. 

“Taeyong! Taeyong look at me!” Doyoung’s stream of tears fall endlessly as he holds out Taeyong in front of him. “I love you Taeyong. Can you hear me? I love you Lee Taeyong. I want you, I want to be with you and hold you forever. I want us to perform together and work in the studio and get drunk together. I want to fight with you and take care of you and make your pain go away. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize sooner and you’ve had to suffer because of me for this long, I never want you to hurt because of me. I love you, so please stay with me!” He screams out the words and gently squeezes Taeyong in his arms, not minding the petals and blood dripping on his shoulder being coughed up. Doyoung gives everything he can, he can’t lose Taeyong, this can’t be happening now. 

He needs Taeyong to be alright.

The coughing stops, and the wheezing. Taeyong is silent. 

Doyoung sobs, thinking the worst may be happening, that his words are not enough and he doesn’t know how to properly show his love. 

A minute passes in silence, increasing Doyoung’s fear, but he’s too in shock to be able to move. All he does is press Taeyong against his heart, praying the rapid beating will somehow wake the other.

“How long have you known?” A weak voice comes from the boy being held in his arms. Doyoungs heart leaps and he releases the boy, helping him to sit upright. 

“When I said all the wrong things to you.” Doyoung can’t say anything else, he’s now crying in happiness, unable to contain the love inside his chest. Taeyong just smiles up at him slowly, his own tears falling. Doyoung wipes the blood dripping from the side of the older’s mouth. 

“I really, really, love you Kim Doyoung. I’m glad you took your time. You weren’t too late.” With those last words, Taeyong buries his face in Doyoung’s chest and grips his arms tightly, before passing out. 

Doyoung screams out to Johnny and cradles Taeyong in his arms until the tall manager bursts in, observes the situation and immediately begins to take care of it. Doyoung does not want to let go of Taeyong but the medical team forces the two apart. He stays with Taeyong being carried away though, and dries his tears as the older’s breathing is stabled. Johnny asks him about what happens but all Doyoung says is that his hanahaki is gone, leaving Johnny confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	41. Chapter 41

The world comes into view but the room Taeyong is in is not one he recognizes. It is not his dorm, or Jaehyun’s house or even Johnny’s place. The room is completely white and kind of barren, a few beeping machines are next to him and he freaks out thinking something might be attached but there is nothing stuck in him. Taeyong sits up, his chest aching, but it feels lighter, freer. He groans but a pair of hands help him prop up the pillows behind him. As Taeyong looks over, his eyes meet with Doyoung’s. Taeyong remembers. A bright smile takes over his face and he almost starts to cry. 

Doyoung loves him, Doyoung really loves him! His favorite bunny prince has feelings for him in the same way Taeyong has feelings for him. Nothing in the world can make Taeyong happier, except seeing Doyoung’s gummy smile or hearing his laugh of course. 

“You need to be careful, you’re going to be a bit weak for a while,” Doyoung tells him. Taeyong reaches out to cup his cheek but Doyoung intercepts and holds his hand down against the bed, motioning his head across the room. Two voices clear their throats and Taeyong flushes in embarrassment. 

Sitting quietly in two more seats on the other side of the room are Johnny and Jaehyun, their presence only makes Taeyong’s heart fill with more love. His smile increases as they make their way over to his bed. 

“How are you feeling Taeyong?” Johnny asks, his eyes trace down Taeyong’s throat and chest then back up to his eyes. 

Taeyong takes a deep breath, and for once the motion is clear and light, there is no pain or stinging in his chest. “I think I will be okay now.”

Jaehyun exhales, “You better be.”

“Don’t act like you don’t care Jaehyun,” Taeyong laughs and whacks the younger gently. He tries to keep up the act but it breaks and he smiles through glossy eyes. Jaehyun pushes his hair back and looks up. 

“Thank god you’re okay.”

Johnny agrees, a few tears in his own eyes. He glances over at Doyoung and smiles. “So the hanahaki is gone?” Taeyong watches as Doyoung turns his head away, blushing a little, but he just grins. 

“It definitely is,” Doyoung answers.

“Then I’m happy for you two,” Johnny laughs, reaching over to pat Doyoung on the back. 

The singer furrows his brows, “Why do you say it like we’re married now. All I did was confess…”

Taeyong can tell Doyoung is feeling uncomfortable so he tries to save his love from embarrassment. “Johnny, does the company know about what happened?” 

“No,” Johnny shakes his head, “Jaehyun and I told them it was because you had been pushing yourself a bit too much and ended up collapsing. We cleaned up the blood and flowers while Doyoung came with you to the medical bay.” Taeyong lowers his head a bit, flattered that Doyoung stayed with him the whole time. 

Jaehyun clears his throat, “We can catch up later on the details, but I think Johnny and I have a few more people to convince that story to.” He grabs Johnny and starts to drag him away, giving an eyebrow raise to Taeyong and then a little wave to Doyoung. Taeyong knows what they are doing, he wishes they would stay and talk with him a bit longer but he also thanks them. Turning back to Doyoung, Taeyong turns soft again at seeing the bunny prince. His prince. It’s not that he needed saving, but that’s what Doyoung ended up doing. 

“Taeyong I…” Doyoung starts, but as soon as he and Taeyong make eye contact, the younger fades out. Taeyong smiles up at him and takes his hands, rubbing the back with his thumbs. 

Doyoung laughs a little, his gummy smile making an appearance and making Taeyong’s heart race. It’s a comfortable speed though, and his entire body no longer feels tired. The room turns bright and Taeyong never wants to look away or let go of Doyoung’s hand. 

“So uh, our song is doing well. And our performance was pretty popular too, there’s some really nice pictures they took of you, of us, on stage,” Doyoung rambles a bit but it’s cute. 

Ears already red, Taeyong reaches out for Doyoung’s face again and holds his soft cheek. “I’ll print them out and put them in my room to remember that night always.” That makes Doyoung laugh, once again sending Taeyong off to another planet. 

“That’s just creepy, why would you want to remember it with a picture when you can have me always?” The younger widens his eyes at his words, clearly shocked they came from his mouth. He seems to have a habit of doing this now. Taeyong just laughs at him, touched by it. The two gaze at one another within the next seconds, hardly believing how much they love one another, elated to finally find each other through everything in their lives. 

Taeyong takes a deep breath, “Should we talk about it?”

Doyoung slowly nods, hesitating to speak, “Taeyong-”

The door creaks open and immediately both boys snap away from one another, Taeyong stuffing his hands under the covers while Doyoung pushes his chair back in panic. Taeyong turns his head and almost falls out of bed when he sees his sister walk through the door. She quickly rushes over and envelopes him in a hug, Taeyong’s tears cannot be stopped.

“Sis-” She quiets him and just holds him for a few seconds before stepping back and flicking his shoulder. 

“Why do you always overwork yourself? You need to take better care otherwise you’ll keep ending up here and have me worried to death everytime!” She’s yelling at him but there’s a care in his voice, Taeyong still can’t believe she’s here. 

“Sorry,” is all Taeyong can manage through his shocked state. 

She crosses her arms, “Sorry? You better be.” His sister glances over at Doyoung who is now standing, he makes a move to leave but Taeyong reaches out and grabs his wrist. 

“Are you leaving?” Taeyong asks, hoping that’s not what’s happening. Doyoung gently removes his wrist and nods. 

“I don’t want to intrude on you and your sister,” Doyoung begins to leave again, politely bowing to Taeyong’s sister on his way out. Taeyong frowns but the younger is already halfway out the door before he can protest. 

“Who was that?” His sister raises an eyebrow.

“Doyoung…” Taeyong can’t say much more, they weren’t able to discuss anything about their relationship with one another before she walked in. He sighs and turns back to his sister, smiling. “I’ll introduce you two properly in the future.” She nods, and then proceeds to scold him about his self care, reminding him of how much it worries the family when he pushes himself too hard. 

Taeyong listens, but all he can think about is how happy he is right now. His hanahaki is gone, his friends by his side, and his sister in front of him. Most of all, he has his love for Doyoung, and Doyoung’s love for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Questions](https://curiouscat.qa/SmithEAdin)


	42. Chapter 42

Barely able to keep in his panic, Doyoung hurriedly texts Jeno and Jaemin. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Doyoung**

UHHH

S.O.S

SORRY BUT IM KINDS FREAKING OUT

Pls sned help

now

AHHDJGSDJKFDHJLFHJKSLDJKS

  
  


**Jeno [ o_o ]**

Whoa whoa okay dw Jaemin and I are on the way

**Jaemin ( o-o )**

Yeah just send us your location and we’ll be there! 

Hang on until then!

**Doyoung**

The cafe!!

And thank you guys ;-;

HHHHHHHH

_________________________________________________________________________

Doyoung shuts his phone, his leg bouncing against the chair. He usually doesn’t share his screaming over text messages but this time, with everything catching up, it’s the only thing he can do. 

Within a few minutes, Jeno and Jaemin come huffing to the back area and plop down in their seats. 

“What’s wrong Doyoung?” Jeno asks inbetween breaths. 

Doyoung looks around the room and takes a deep breath, “Okay so, there’s a lot I need to tell you two but it can’t leave this room, promise.” They exchange glances but nod back to Doyoung, settling down in their seats. 

“You know how in the past several months Taeyong and I have become… friends, and how he would always come to hang around me before we started writing the song?”

“Yes,” Jaemin responds. 

Doyoung has to take several more breaths to calm his nerves before continuing, “Well Taeyong got hanahaki a few months ago.”

“What?” The two boys exclaim in unison. 

“And the hanahaki was caused by me.” That sends the two boys out of their seats, they quickly calm themselves though and shut their mouths, widening their eyes and listening intensely to Doyoung’s next words. He explains everything, even admits to his blow up at Taeyong and realizing he didn’t in fact hate Taeyong he was just stupid with his emotions. 

When he finishes the story the two boys' mouths are wide open.

“So,” Doyoung clears his throat, “Now that Taeyong and I both know how each other feel, I have no clue what happens next. I thought it would be easy but it just got difficult again.”

“Well,” Jaemin finally unfreezes, Jeno is getting there, “first off I want to say it's great you and Taeyong found each other, but secondly how the hell did you keep that all in this whole time? How the hell did Taeyong hide it so well too?” Jeno aggressively nods, agreeing with his boyfriend. 

“I would be lying if I didn’t say it was hard, and Taeyong,” Doyoung stares at the ground, “he hid all his pain so I wouldn’t feel pressured into liking him. He didn’t even know if I would end up reciprocating anyways, but he still refused to say anything or get surgery. He was willing to die while waiting.” Doyoung laughs and pushes his hair back. “I really don’t deserve him.” There’s a bit of panic and pain in the laughter though, easy to detect if you’ve known him for a long time. 

Jeno wraps his arm around Jaemin and leans in closer to the oldest. “Listen Doyoung, everything that happened was a lot, and just because you and Taeyong have confessed to one another doesn’t mean you’re required to immediately jump into anything. Especially after all that’s happened.”

“That’s right, it’s okay for things to go at a slower pace, it’s important to feel comfortable when starting something with someone. Just make sure you aren’t not doing anything,” Jaemin voices. 

Doyoung nods and takes a sip of his drink, deep in thought. He’s always been slower with his emotions, and it’s not that he doesn’t know what he feels, it’s that he’s never been in a romantic relationship before. What if he messes up or ends up hurting Taeyong again? Dating is a whole new world for Doyoung, and the exploration might take some time.

On the other hand though, he’s not going to let Taeyong go. After everything, running away because of something new isn’t what Doyoung wants to do anymore. He wants to be with Taeyong, not just as close friends. 

“I think you’ll need to talk with him Doyoung,” Jeno suggests, he pokes Doyoungs shoulder to get his attention. “Actually I don’t just think that, I know you two need to talk.” With both of the younger boys nodding by his side, Doyoung takes a deep breath.

“I know.”

“When will you see him next?” Jaemin asks. 

“I don’t know,” Doyoung frowns, “He has a lot more resting to do, just to make sure all of the hanahaki is out of his system but I don’t know if when I visit he’ll be alone.”

“I see, well the quicker the better,” Jaemin points out, he then wraps his arms around Jeno who buries his head in embarrassment at the public affection, “We’re tired of you being our only single friend, you don’t want to be a third wheel forever right?” 

Doyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at their obvious attempt to make him jealous at their relationship. “I’m going to pay and then you’re going to leave me alone.” 

They chuckle at him and finish off their drinks, teasing him throughout the rest of their sit down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sometimes feel like I'm repetitive, sorry hhh. 
> 
> [Questions?](https://curiouscat.qa/SmithEAdin)


	43. Chapter 43

Taeyong was planning on talking with Doyoung alone but with his company requesting him back at work within the next few days and his family constantly by his side, they never got to be by themselves. Still, the rest he got was nice and once leaving, Taeyong walked lightly for the first time in a long time. As he crossed the parking lot to Johnny’s car, the fresh air filled his lungs and each breath was smooth, no scratching or pain. His hanahaki is really gone. 

With his first day back to work, Taeyong sighs as he reaches for the studio door where Johnny is waiting for him. Just before entering though, an arm reaches out and pulls him back, turning him around. 

Taeyong immediately lights up and throws his arms around the black haired boy in front of him, “Doyoung!” Doyoung protests a bit, trying to get Taeyong off of him but eventually he gives in and hugs him back before they separate. 

“What are you doing back here so soon?” The singer gives his disapproving pout, making Taeyong’s insides melt. “You should still be resting.”

“I’m fine,” Taeyong smirks, “You’re worried about me aren’t you?”

Doyoung avoids eye contact, licking his lips, “No… maybe… you just never take care of yourself properly.” He folds his arms and stares down at the older. Taeyong laughs and reaches out, caressing the back of the younger’s neck. He watches as Doyoung swallows and blinks a couple times. 

“We need to talk about some things,” Taeyong states.

“I agree-”

“Taeyong!” They immediately back away from one another, luckily it’s just Johnny calling Taeyong from behind. “Oh, sorry, but you’ll have to wait, Taeyong and I have a few things to go over for work,” Johnny grabs Taeyong and pulls him into the studio, he doesn’t even have enough time to properly say goodbye to Doyoung. The rapper gives his famous frown to his manager. 

“Johnny-” Johnny shakes his head, cutting him off and dragging Taeyong down into a chair. The tall boy slams stacks of papers onto the table and begins the painful process of reviewing all of them for Taeyong. 

The rest of the week unfortunately follows that same pattern, Taeyong has a brief encounter with Doyoung before one of them is rushed off somewhere for work. After that first week though, Taeyong has every intention of talking with Doyoung about their feelings for each other, yet even when they hang out somehow it doesn’t happen. The two end up going out for meals throughout the day, grabbing drinks or even cooking late at night, but no conversation is ever held. Taeyong tries hard to bring it up but he’s scared to push Doyoung too fast, even after all this time he’s willing to accept he might have to wait a little longer. 

Once their work schedules die down though, Taeyong knows it can’t wait any longer. He and Doyoung have been practicing their own things in the studio together for a while now, so he can use that as a way to get alone time with Doyoung. Then all he has to do is address the elephant that’s been in the room and keep the atmosphere comfortable for Doyoung. Taeyong brings out his phone and begins his plan. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Tyong** ❤️

Doieeee

**Doie** ❤️

Yes?

**Tyong** ❤️

Come to the studio tonight!!

**Doie** ❤️

You want another voice lesson?

**Tyong** ❤️

That and I want to see you ;-;

I don’t want to work alone in the studio

It’s scary >.<

**Doie** ❤️

Lol okay, it’s cute when you’re scared

0-0

Forget that last part

**Tyong** ❤️

You’re cuter ;)

And can you bring food, I won’t have time to go and get some

Please ;-;

**Doie** ❤️

….fine -.-

What do you want?

**Tyong** ❤️

Your chappagetti :)))

**Doie** ❤️

Okay I know I asked but…

That takes so much work -.-

Anything else?

**Tyong** ❤️

Fine, just bring the ramen we like 

:D

**Doie** ❤️

Okay 

**Tyong** ❤️

!!

❤️

**Doie** ❤️

…

❤️

_________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're close. 
> 
> [Questions?](https://curiouscat.qa/SmithEAdin)


	44. Chapter 44

Doyoung carefully balances the two steaming ramen cups in his hands as he pushes open the studio door with his shoulder. A squealing comes from the floor where he assumes Taeyong is, but Doyoung can’t peel his eyes off the wobbling filled cups. Taeyong rushes over and takes one off his hands, then takes Doyoung by the wrist and brings him to the middle of the room where a mess awaits. 

All of Taeyong’s papers are spread out in a circle, pencils and other random objects littered in as well. Doyoung tsks as he sits down next to Taeyong and sets his ramen on the floor, bringing out the utensils from his pocket. 

“How long have you been working for?”

Taeyong shrugs, immediately slurping up some noodles. “For a couple hours now.”

“Taeyong!”

The older pouts, “What?” Doyoung scoffs, of course Taeyong is the type to be over working and not even know he is. 

“Nothing, just enjoy your noodles.” The singer blows on his steaming food a couple of times while Taeyong downs his in a matter of seconds. He scans over all the papers, more pages of unfinished lyrics, musical notations, the inner workings of Taeyong’s brain. The best parts aren’t even the impactful lines, it’s the tiny cartoon puppy drawings on the sidelines and the plethora of hearts covering several pages. Doyoung shakes his head at the mess. When he finishes his ramen, he starts to organize the piles and papers, leaving a concentrated Taeyong behind him to his work. 

There’s mainly silence for a while, with a couple times of Taeyong asking Doyoung to pass something. It’s the comfortable silence though, the kind Doyoung treasures and can be happy with. As long as he’s here with Taeyong it’s okay.

Glancing back to ask for another binder, Doyoung finds Taeyong has laid back, his eyes closed and breathing steady. He can’t help but smile at the older, so peacefully resting, the last few times he’s seen Taeyong like this he hasn’t looked so calm. Doyoung crawls over and pokes his cheek gently, Taeyong stirs a bit but doesn’t respond. 

“You need to stop overworking yourself someday,” Doyoung sighs, reaching down to push some hair out of his eyes. Taeyong grumbles and opens his eyes, he smirks up and Doyoung cringes as hands grab at his waist, tickling him. “Hey stop! That’s not fair!” He shouts between laughing breaths. Doyoung licks his lips and retaliates back, reaching for Taeyong’s sides and tickling him back. The older is even more sensitive and his laughing fills the studio as he tries to push Doyoung off of him. Once they finally separate, Taeyong is still laughing, wiping tears from his eyes. Doyoung is still a bit mad at being tricked, but hearing Taeyong’s cute chuckling has him fighting a smile. He loses that fight as well. 

They lay side by side now, shoulders touching and the lights of the practice room shining into their eyes. Doyoung turns his head to get a glimpse of Taeyong’s side profile, instead he is met with the boy’s eyes a few centimeters away. 

There’s really no words in the dictionary to describe the beauty held in Taeyong’s gaze. It’s not fair how he can so clearly speak with just a look. But Taeyong is more than just looks to Doyoung, he’s someone precious. Taeyong is the one person Doyoung knows he can lean on, the one who will comfort him whether he’s crying or rejoicing, and Doyoung will always do the same for Taeyong. 

His pulse quickens as Taeyong inches closer, their faces with almost no space inbetween. Doyoung closes his eyes as he leans in and touches his lips with Taeyong’s perfect ones. There’s never been a sweeter taste in Doyoung’s life, and he doesn’t want there to be. Doyoung reaches out his hand and places it on Taeyong’s neck as their moment lasts and the two pull apart. The younger is immediately smiling while Taeyong stares back at him, the older’s smile widening in slow motion. They both laugh a little before kissing again, turning to face one another on the studio floor. 

Doyoung sits up, pulling Taeyong with him and then shoves him into his arms, hugging him as closely to his heart as he can. 

“God I love you so much Taeyong, please never leave me,” Doyoung can’t stop his confession, but saying these words roll right off his tongue and relieve his worries. Taeyong knows how he feels, and he doesn’t want it any other way. The older exhales and falls deeper into the hug, patting Doyoung’s back a few times. 

Taeyong laughs, “I don’t plan on doing that, I’ve fallen too hard for you.” 

Doyoung holds him out at arms length and takes a deep breath, finally saying what’s been on his mind for weeks, “Let’s date.” 

Taeyong takes a few seconds for the words to set in, but when they do his grin only grows brighter and his facial expression softens, “I’d like to be your boyfriend.” Doyoung suddenly flushes and has to turn away, his heart leaping in his chest. Lee Taeyong wants to be his boyfriend. He would like to scream but the couch pillows are too far and he doesn’t want to move from being in front of Taeyong right now. 

“Okay,” Doyoung takes a deep breath, resting his tongue by the side of his mouth, “Then we’re boyfriends.” He chuckles a little, smiling like an idiot as he ruffles his hair. Taeyong falls back a bit in front of him, gripping his chest. 

“Oh I think I’ve been hit by cupid's arrow,” he teases. Doyoung rolls his eyes and pushes him so he falls back, then attacks him once more with tickling until the older is crying from laughing. 

Their talk didn’t go exactly how Doyoung was anticipating, he thought it would be a lot more awkward and a lot longer, but all it took was a few seconds and now they are dating. Of course, there are still a few things that need to be said. 

Doyoung shakes a giggling Taeyong by the shoulders, “Come on, we seriously do need to talk about this a bit more.”

Taeyong composes himself but not before stealing a kiss on Doyoung’s cheek making the younger turn insanely red. “Okay baby, tell me.”

“B-baby…” Doyoung covers his burning face. He then clears his throat and let’s Taeyong play with his fingers. “Anyways, I don’t know if it’s safe to make this… relationship” he smiles at the words, “public yet. Just because you know how crazy fans can get, either obsessing over it or being mad about it.” 

Taeyong takes a deep breath and nods, “I have thought about that, and I think it’s better to do what any other artist would do when in a relationship, keep it secret. I’ve waited far too long to be with you, you’re all I want. So I don’t care if other people know or not, being with you is all I need.” Doyoung stares over at Taeyong, immersed in his words. 

He takes a few seconds before being able to respond, “E-exactly.” He’s a flustered mess and somehow Taeyong isn’t, usually it’s the other way around. Taeyong smirks over at him, clearly aware of his power to make the younger blush. Doyoung pushes him away and lays down on the floor, covering his face. 

“I think we should call it a night,” Doyoung utters. A ding comes from his phone and he reaches for it, flipping it open. 

_________________________________________________________________________

**Tyong** ❤️

Okay Baby ;)

_________________________________________________________________________

“Lee Taeyong!” Doyoung calls as he lunges forward to attack the boy once more, Taeyong laughs and backs up, begging for him to go easy this time. Doyoung takes pity and only threatens to tickle him, shaking his head and getting up instead. They pack up their things, deciding it is getting late. 

Together they walk hand and hand through the streets, first to Taeyong’s dorm where Doyoung drops him off. Taeyong steals a goodnight kiss before shyly running off into his building, Doyoung just shakes his head and smiles, happily skipping all the way back to his own dorm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at these cuties, they've come such a long way! One more to go everybody! 
> 
> I'm happy and sad about this ending ;-;
> 
> [Questions?](https://curiouscat.qa/SmithEAdin)


	45. Chapter 45

Three Months Later:

The past three months have been the happiest in Doyoung’s entire existence, and Taeyong’s as well. Almost everyday they remind each other how much they care for one another, Jeno and Jaemin tell them that will end soon though and then they’ll be at each other’s throats. Of course they have their little fights too but it always ends in a frustrated Doyoung while Taeyong laughs at him.

Their music careers have steadily grown as well, and now for most events the company schedules for them to attend together since the public loved their collaboration. 

“You ready?” Taeyong asks, Doyoung looks up from his laptop and nods.

“Give me a few seconds.” He quickly packs away all his stuff and stands, Taeyong’s hand helping him. As they walk out of the studio they spot Jaehyun, Johnny, Jeno, and Jaemin all standing in the hallway conversing with one another. It wasn’t much of a surprise since the six of them often hung out now ever since Taeyong and Doyoung informed them they were dating. Jaemin and Jaehyun start snickering as the two pass. 

Johnny just smirks, “Enjoy your lunch you two.” Doyoung rolls his eyes as Jeno gives him a thumbs up, Taeyong hides his face, sheepish at his friends making comments on them. Doyoung decides to play along with their teasing and puts his arm arounds Taeyong, causing the older to set off into a panic, exclaiming a bunch of random questioning words. Their friends all smile at them and Doyoung chuckles as they reach the first floor, letting go of Taeyong. 

Like always, they head to the back of Doyoung’s favorite cafe to the private area where no one else is currently seated. 

“Let’s order cake today!” Taeyong coos giving puppy eyes to his boyfriend. Doyoung holds his breath, doing his best to not look over at the cuteness. 

He gives in anyways, “Fine, but you better not eat too much. Too much sugar will give you a stomachache.” Taeyong happily claps next to him and starts listing off all the different ones they can get, eventually deciding on a strawberry cream one. After spending three months with him, Doyoung still can’t believe the amount of sweets he eats. Sometimes he thinks that might contribute to his sweet self but then he remembers that’s just who Taeyong is. 

Doyoung reaches out and takes an unsuspecting Taeyong’s hand, bringing it up to his mouth and gently kissing it. The older stares at him, his ears turning a bit pink before hiding behind his menu. Doyoung smirks as he takes the menu away to reveal a heavily blushing Taeyong, he laughs at him. He loves making his boyfriend flustered, and he knows Taeyong enjoys doing it back to him just as much. 

Once their food comes out, Taeyong takes a deep breath next to Doyoung. “Doie, can I ask you something?”

“Mhm?” Doyoung voices through sipping his tea. 

“When did you know… I had hanahaki?”

Doyoung sets his tea down, confused at the question. “You don’t remember me telling you?”

Taeyong adverts his eyes, “I wish I could say that I do but, I was kind of out of it at that moment. Really all I remember was you confessing and me doing it back.” His hand rubs the back of his neck and Taeyong’s breathy laugh sounds quietly. Doyoung nods though, understanding. Honestly he doesn’t remember every detail either, and Taeyong was practically dying in that moment so it makes sense. 

“I suspected after I yelled at you, rose petals were left out in the hallway so I put two and two together,” Doyoung states. 

“You really knew all that time?” Taeyong exclaims, his eyes widening now that he can fully realize just how long Doyoung was aware. 

The younger nods to confirm, “I approached Johnny and Jaehyun sometime later to confirm with them, they did. And I wasn’t sure at first if I was really the one who caused it, I mean I didn’t know someone could develop it that fast.”

Taeyong nervously laughs, “I fell too hard too fast,” he changes his expression to a soft one, “but I wouldn’t change it. Thank you for taking your time and not trying to force anything for my sake.” 

Doyoung whacks him in the shoulder making the rapper confused. 

“Idiot, you could have died! You’re telling me thank you for making you go through all that pain? I would have preferred if you just slapped me and told me everything!”

“Well I kind of suspected you knew anyways, you’re pretty smart,” Taeyong trails off, smiling down. 

Doyoung exhales, “Taeyong, in all seriousness though. Thank you, for giving me time. You… you hid all of that pain so well, for me, for your family, for your fans. I can’t even imagine what you went through.” 

Taeyong rubs his neck again but Doyoung takes his hands.

“Taeyong, I never want you to have to go through anything like that ever again, especially if it’s because of me. Whether it’s physical pain, emotional, anything, please be comfortable sharing with me when it hurts so I can help the best I can, or just be there for you. Whatever you need,” Doyoung chokes on his last words, his eyes tearing up. Taeyong sees and squeezes his hands, giving him a reassuring look. 

“I have a habit of keeping my pain to myself, I wouldn’t even share with Johnny and Jaehyun because I didn’t want to bother them, but now I have comfort in knowing I can turn to you and you’ll take care of me. Thank you.”

“You’re the first person I’ve felt comfortable sharing everything with in a long time.” The words slip out of Doyoung’s mouth in response to Taeyong’s sweet words, but they fit right in. They stare longingly at one another for a few solid minutes until their cake arrives. Doyoung offers for Taeyong to take the first bite but Taeyong refuses and says he should get the first one.

Doyoung frowns, “I insist you go first.”

“No,” Taeyong shakes his finger, “You’re more handsome so you should take the first bite.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense, and beside you’re definitely better looking than me.” Doyoung crosses his arms, annoyed that his boyfriend never acknowledges his perfect visuals. 

Taeyong laughs, “I love you.” He then dips his finger into the icing of the cake and promptly swipes it against Doyoung’s face, square on his cheek. Doyoung’s mouth widens at the attack and he immediately pushes four of his fingers into the cake, touching each one onto the older’s soft nose. Taeyong is laughing the whole time while Doyoung is fighting the urge to strangle him, with love of course. 

Neither wants the time to change, they both finally have each other. Someone to take care of and give love to, and someone to take care of them and give love back. Sure they’ve had their ups and down, and plenty more to come in the future but their fondness for each other will never fade. 

Doyoung sighs, wiping the icing off his face and then cleaning up Taeyong. 

“I love you, Lee Taeyong. Can you hear me?” He whispers. 

“Yes,” Taeyong smiles, “I love you too Kim Doyoung.” 

And never will they let each other forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe it's over now, I wanted to end it cutely and happily. Before you go I have a message for all my readers:
> 
> Hi, I truly want to thank you all so much for reading! I don't know any other way to express my gratitude other than to say I love you. Thanks for supporting my first full fic, it was quite a fun time for me! I hope you enjoyed it as well. Make sure to take care of yourselves, drink water and go to bed! I'm sending love through the screen <3
> 
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> I have planned out several other fanfictions for the future, so maybe you'll look forward to those as well! 
> 
> If you want to follow my twitter where I give updates about my writings (and scream about k-pop):
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SmithEAdin)
> 
> [Questions?](https://curiouscat.qa/SmithEAdin)


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